ADHD and inability to self regulate phone usage

[Pickle454]

Hoping for some advice here as I have a year 12 daughter with fairly severe ADHD who appears totally unable to regulate her phone usage (with her agreement we had to block it during GCSE revision). Obviously by now she should be learning to self regulate given that she will probably be off to uni in 2 years. We still have a no phone in room overnight rule as she can't get up in the morning anyway and is always tired. She has very high aspirations in terms of uni and so her work really matters to her but all efforts at using Forest app or similar when doing homework have failed. Really interested to hear how others with neurodivergent 6th formers manage this situation and support independence?

I'm not a sixth former but I have ADHD and struggle to self-regulate my phone usage, and I know many of my friends with and without ADHD do, too. I know that's not helpful but it might help to know it's a common thing. Apps are designed to make you want to spend more time on them, which just makes it even harder to stop, especially for people whose brains are stimulated by dopamine hits!

I have the Forest app free version, it's cute but I have to remember to turn it on, and even then spend a lot of time killing trees as I find I need something! If I'm on my laptop, I use a Google Chrome extension called BlockSite which stops me from using websites I've chosen - there are probably other extensions. There are ways around it (eg. Chrome incognito mode, don't tell her this!) but it does make me stop and think when I absentmindedly go to one of those websites, so I use those websites a lot less than before. For me, it's about breaking the habit cycle.

Having no phone in the room is a great idea though harder to maintain at uni when your room is the only space you have. There are settings on most smartphones to automatically block certain apps between certain hours you set, so you could keep your calls/whatsapp available but block everything else.

I hope you find something that helps!

@PorkPieForStarters thanks so much for your reply. I think part of the problem is that many 16/17 yr olds are a few yrs behind in terms of executive function skills, but at the same time they understandably don’t want to be treated like a 13 yr old! I don’t think any of my daughter’s friends are not allowed phones overnight but I don’t know what else to do.

@Pickle454 Yep, executive function is difficult. I had no idea I had ADHD at that age, but also my phone was limited to snake as entertainment, so it was a lot less appealing thankfully!

Do you have access to any professionals who might be able to suggest ways to manage it that work for your daughter?

I don't if these websites might help for resources/tips:
addca.com/adhd-coach-training/ADHD-Blog-Details/tools_that_make_it_easier_to_manage_adhd1/
www.additudemag.com/

We have something where you can switch the wifi off on certains apps at certain times so you can have homework allocated hours with our dd17 who has adhd, ou
r other daughter would be able to self regulate. DD has admitted that she is glad sometimes.

Also can use MMGuardian to time restrict apps too.

Thanks @duvet so you are still regulating phone use with dd17 then? I am worried that if mine doesn’t somehow (magically) learn to do this at home then uni will be a disaster 🤷‍♀️. I don’t know at what point you let a dc with adhd go over the cliff iyswim?

Yes we are - never did with dd1 apart from overnight. If you have read/watched any of Russell Berkeley he says that adhd are 2 or 3 years younger emotionally/maturity wise & that is why it's ok to treat them accordingly if necessary. He talks a lot about parents scaffolding to help their kids because the executive function their peers have is lacking. HTH