Dd wants to drop out of college - help!

[ASDTeen]

DD is 18 and has ASD and chronic fatigue. She was at a specialist secondary, got a couple of GCSEs in English and maths, and then went to college to do art level 2. She didn’t find being there easy, but managed to get a merit, and then started this year on level 3.

It’s all gone badly wrong for her and she is about to drop out. Her mental health isn’t good at all and I support her decision. She hasn’t officially left yet but I’m having a bit of a panic.

She is many years behind her peers socially, and relies on me for everything, doesn’t really ever go out or do anything, and says she wants to live at home forever. I’m really worried for her future, and also concerned about finances as a single parent.

My first question is, do I ask her college to refer us back to the LA, as the placement has broken down? If I do that is she still technically in education even if she’s not going? She’s adamant she doesn’t want to do any more education, but equally she doesn’t want to do anything other than be in her bedroom, which isn’t good for her. My personal feeling is that the longer she can stay in education or training, the greater the buffer is between her and the real world.

Also where does this leave me financially? She gets PIP, which she spends on ‘cute stuff from Japan’. I get tax credits for her, including the severely disabled element, and I gather all that will stop if she’s no longer in education? And of course my council tax will also be more expensive as there is another adult there.

I understand she can claim UC, but how do others who are not wealthy (ie on the bones of their arse) manage this with disabled DC? I know it’s legally her money, and I give her all of her PIP, but if my tax credits for her stop then would I be unreasonable to take the shortfall from her UC? We are just about getting by at the moment, I have another, younger, disabled DC who is not in school at the moment, and health issues of my own so my earning capacity is very limited. If I lose DD’s tax credits then I am buggered, quite frankly, especially with the COL crisis.

I know her tax credits were always going to end one day, but now is a terrible time as my younger DC is being extremely challenging and looking after her is a full time job in itself.

Sorry lots to unpick there I know, I’m in such a muddle with it all.

Anyone?

She presumably has an EHCP?
I'd go back to the LA. There is also a thread in AIBU www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4666449-aibu-to-consider-a-future-with-dd-staying-at-home?page=5&reply=121156839 right now that might be helpful to you.
You'll need to skim through the ignorant posts but there are some links from some posters which might be helpful to you.

I take it DD has an EHCP? You need to ask the LA for an early review in order for the EHCP to be amended so it meets DD’s needs. Don’t officially leave the college yet even if DD can’t attend.

If DD leaves education the EHCP would cease, which would be a mistake to let happen as the EHCP is the route to support, including therapies. However, educational provision doesn’t have to be how DD is perceiving it. It can include therapies (does the EHCP include MH therapies, SALT, OT, physio), preparation for adulthood provision, accessing the community, supported training/work experience, home/online tuition, care farm.

If DD leaves education tax credits would reduce. Your council tax would go from 50% (all adults disregarded - you as a carer and DD as she’s in full time education) to 75% (single person discount and you disregarded as a carer) unless DD is disregarded due to SMI.


PIP and any potential UC may be DD’s but it is DD’s to pay for her costs and expenses including bills, food etc. so it is reasonable to expect a proportion of it to go towards the running of the house. Allowing DD to spend all the PIP on “cute stuff from Japan” isn’t helpful as this won’t be possible to continue longer term as DD will need to money to support herself. If you are getting the severely disabled child element for her the PIP is not an insignificant amount of money.

Have you checked whether you would be better off on UC? Many families with disabled DC are.

Are the LA providing education for your younger DC not in school? You can’t be compelled to facilitate their education if you aren’t EHE, and if you are EHE you need to stop so the LA become responsible.

Have you also had social care assessments for you all?

Are your health issue significant enough for you to be eligible for the LCW or LCWRA element &/or PIP?

Thanks for the replies.

Yes DD1 has an EHCP. She has a review next week. That’s interesting to know re therapies, I will definitely ask to be referred back to the LA, and hopefully they can find something more suitable for her.

I had no idea that I was entitled to any council tax discount as a carer, although I’ve just checked with my council and it’s only available if the person you care for is over 18, which she has been since July. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense but at least I haven’t been missing out for the last 4 years.

I’ve done the online calculators and it appears to work out around the same for TC and UC, there’s only about a fiver a month difference. So I’d rather stay on TC as long as possible. I could possibly be eligible for LCWRA or LCW, but I’m not convinced after applying for PIP and getting the grand total of zero points.

DD2 is still registered at school even though she’s not going. I’m waiting for them to sort out alternative provision.

Also as well as cute stuff from Japan, DD buys all her own clothes, pays for her hair appointments, cosmetics etc, and any socialising she does out of her PIP money. Before she got PIP she had DLA and I was paying her an allowance, which now she doesn’t get, and I used to pay for her hair appointments and clothes etc.

Yes, the council tax discount is only if you care for someone over 18 who isn’t your partner. That’s because everyone is expected to care for their children.

DD2 is still registered at school even though she’s not going. I’m waiting for them to sort out alternative provision.

It is the LA who should be arranging alternative education, and it should begin once it becomes clear the pupil will miss 15 days. You should email the Director of Children’s Services reminding them of their statutory duty. If that doesn’t work email again threatening judicial review, then contact SOSSEN if necessary for help with a pre-action letter.

Even accounting for the other costs £92.40-£156.90 per week depending on the mobility award is still a significant amount of disposable income, more than DD will be able to afford as an adult on benefits. Especially as you are only just about managing financially now and will ‘lose’ over £650 per month when you are no longer eligible for CB and CTC/UC for her so will need her to contribute some of that money to her portion of the household expenses as even if she claims UC it won’t be the amount you will lose in CTC/CB.

You may be able to register as home educating to keep the tax credits . You could register her with the careers service and apply for an extension

You can't usually register has HE after the end of y11 if memory serves me right (at least for Child Benefit).

Fizzypop the extension for signing up to the careers service only applies to 16 and 17 year olds. It doesn’t apply to the OP as her DD is already 18. Since DD has an EHCP EHE would be a terrible mistake.

Teen there is an exemption to the rules regarding home education (or what they actually mean is any education not at a school or college whether that’s home education or not) starting before 16 for those with an EHCP.