Dissociative disorders in asd young adult child

[CandyLeBonBon]

Hope this is a good place to put this.

Looking for support, ideas, handhold advice or anything else useful that anyone can offer who might be in a similar position.

My eldest ds is 20. ASD/adhd, depression and ptsd due to bullying and over the past two years his condition/outlook/capacity to cope/world has got worse/ smaller and he is now talking to me about having dissociative episodes with 2 specific 'mindsets' (his words). He's now 'stuck' in mindset 2, and it like living with a stranger.

I've involved mental healthcare services and I'm hoping that I can get him some support but I'm struggling so much.

Their dad has washed his hands of them so it's all on me. I have 2 younger teens, 13 and 17, a full time job and I'm on my knees. My own mental health is not great and I feel so buckled by it all. Has anyone got any wise words of wisdom?

Bump? Would really appreciate any input

Anyone?

Hi OP, I’ve just read your post.

How are things right now for you and your DS?

I’m relieved to hear your DS does talk to you but can only imagine he’s protecting himself right now. Not sure if you’ve checked out MIND, if not, may be worth a look. Just to feel supported can help us so much.

Hi OP,
Have you managed to get a response from MH services? I have two teens with similar diagnoses and my heart goes out to you. It can be impossibly difficult.

@CandyLeBonBon For us dissociation was the severe end of anxiety. Drop all demands. The anxiety is so high that it is unbearable. Go very slow. This will pass. It will take time for recovery for your son and you.

If at all possible take time trying not to solve as the resting of your mind is as important as the endless search for support.

You are not alone the feelings you have are real and it’s not a weakness, it’s a lived experience that I had no idea impacted so many families.

I hope you have found some support and that your DS is coping.

@CandyLeBonBon I agree with @RedeeeOrNot , I've had two mid/late teen ASD children in the last three years who had breakdowns. Completely unable at times to do anything and who had both lost hope in everything. Fortunately we had gone private for their diagnoses and were able to access medication (sertraline) which helped as well as therapy sessions (mixed success there...). Most of all, we gave them space and love and held off any pressure. We built up trust so they talked to us: they had no idea what the problems were at first that had caused this but we talked and worked it out together. However it is difficult working full time and giving attention to the other two, so perhaps all I can do is let you know you aren't alone. Are there any local support groups where you can contact other local parents? Make some time for yourself, even if just something small - believe me I've been there and know it is difficult but worth it. I don't quite know how we got through the last few years, but one is now at uni and the other has started a new school. None of which we thought would happen at one point.