ADHD consultation and explaining why we're going

[Fluffyslippersohyes]

DD is 10 and we have a consultation on Friday for possible ADHD and / or autism. We have gone with a private company. If they think she may have it there is a further more in depth process.

I'm not sure how to explain this to DD. She is quite private and I think she will be quire anxious about it. How did you explain it to your DC? I don't want her to think there is anything wrong with her. Thanks, I'm anxious too

OP - as kids get older, I think this can get a bit harder, if they have picked up on any of the common misconceptions/discriminatory attitudes? Where do you think DD's head is likely to be at?

I tried to have conversations around finding some day to days things a bit harder than other people, explaining that everyone's brain is wired up differently giving everyone different strengths, but that we tend to organise school, work, life around just one sort of wiring. If you have a different sort, it's worth knowing, to understand why some things might feel difficult, and to make it easier to ask school to make changes.

DC (who is a bit older) found ADHD the easier diagnosis as he could more readily relate to the inattentive bit and had positive role models. He was very upset by the ASD diagnosis, as I think he found this harder to relate to. Like most of us, he didn't have a good understanding of what autism might be comprised of, and how it varies enormously between people.

Have you spoken to the company about how they will introduce these themes to DD? You might want to talk this over in advance? They may have suggestions? Hope it goes well.

And I'm still working out how best to support him around the sense of stigma he feels in respect of autism. He is picking up on something real (widespread ignorance and discriminatory social attitudes).

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. Good idea to ring the company. We've talked about talking to people about her feelings and how that's OK, but the school nurse went to talk to her and because I didn't know she was going in I couldn't prepare her. So I don't want it all to be a massive shock. Thanks

I would approach it from the difficulties I assume she is currently experiencing.
So - you know how you find doing X and Y and Z harder than others? Well we are going to see someone to see if they know why that is and whether they can help us understand things a bit better.