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SN teens and young adults

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What options do I have now my child is 17?

2 replies

Nothingtoshowforitall · 19/02/2022 08:16

DTwin2 is 17
18 at the end of this year.
ASD and ADHD, Dyslexia and left school with no GCSE'S (diagnosis was at 15 three months before lockdown, child already a school refuser and the whole thing was a nightmare)
DD comes across in short meetings as reasonably personable. My family and close friends have watched her learn how to socialise. .it's not a natural process for her, she teaches herself through trial and error. In short one hour meetings you cannot get to know her.
DD has attended a few meetings with a service set up by the local council children's services and they are supposed to be helping her get skills, qualifications and looking into options for apprenticeship, training or getting into college to do a course that my DD has long had a huge interest in and she knows she would love.
Last week this person that she meets with made a decision and assisted my child in applying for something that I know my child will not be able to manage, not yet. This service is supposed to be giving her the skills to maybe one day do this. She couldn't handle one day at college last September. She is not ready.
At 17 what options do I have for asking them to not contact her again? Right now DD sees this woman as her "saviour" she is desperate to do something, anything, and this woman has just allowed her to go ahead and go for it months before she is ready. It's not just me, her elder siblings are furious too, as her family we are the ones that will have to deal with this fallout.
I want to withdraw her from this service but don't know how to go about this without causing a rift between my child and me and the only way I can think of is this way so that they are not allowed to contact her. I am going to complain there seems to be no provision for her SEN issues just a tick box exercise for funding and looking good on their statistics.

I am besides myself with worry about my child. She can't make a meal on her own, if not just using a toaster. She trusts everyone and turning 18 soon I just don't know what to do. I want and need to help and support my child in becoming reasonably independent ... right now she will always need someone to be there for her.

OP posts:
Imitatingdory · 19/02/2022 10:33

Have you spoken to the service? As DD is 17 unless she does not have capacity if she wants contact with the service you would not be able to stop it. Even if she doesn’t have capacity you may find if DD wants to continue with them preventing contact would raise concern. Which I know isn’t what you want to hear.

Has DD had assessments? Does DT2 have an EHCP? If not, you should apply for one. If she does ask for an early review.

ChooseYourUsernameWisely · 20/02/2022 16:49

Sorry to hear this OP, how upsetting for you and your family.
I’d definitely be speaking with someone about this. Is it possible to speak to the person concerned, sharing your concerns? Perhaps in the future things may be a little different and it’s something you DD can pick up again.
Of course, you know your daughter the best and her capabilities.

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