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SN teens and young adults

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

17yr old ASD.....I dont know what else to do.

1 reply

behindtheeyes · 16/06/2021 19:10

No idea if I need this board or the teenage board. Here goes....
Found out last night that my child told one of their friends that I had hit them. I did not. At most I held a shoulder and said that i wanted to give them a shake at times. They are taller & stronger than me, & I just wouldn't have done that anyway. I am so upset.
They have only had the diagnosis about 18m. at 1st they didn't accept it but now are saying it a lot.....its not my fault, its the aspergers etc.
I know they have had & are having a tough time, what with covid. They are on antidepressants after i became concerned about low mood. They are seeing councellors at college because they refuse to talk to me or DH.....the only conversations we have are 'whats for dinner' or 'can i have a lift'.
College is not going as well as they hoped & current predicted grades are low. Any attempt to help with study guidance is ignored.
I just dont know what to do, especially about the outright lie. DH thinks part of it is them playing the victim card & trying to elicit sympathy from others because they lack the social skills to communicate in more usual ways. I think he may be right.
Do I tell them I know what they said? Do I say how upset I am ? Ask them about it? I feel blindsided by this.

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 17/06/2021 16:08

I'd just ignore the assault allegation unless anything happens, after all, you have only heard about it third hand.

College is not going as well as they hoped & current predicted grades are low. Any attempt to help with study guidance is ignored
Does college have a Disability Advice section, if so, get in touch with them and explain what's happening that his grades are poor and he won't accept any help from you. Ask what help they can offer.

Remember that many kids with AN have an emotional age around two thirds of their chronological age and bear that in mind when dealing with any emotional issues. Stop all thoughts of 'At their age they ought to be able to ...' and stop comparing their emotional maturity with that of their peers.

Are the counsellors they are seeing at college trained in how to counsel kids and adults with autism? If not, see if you can arrange that for them. NT methods of communication are not always successful with autistic people (understatement).

Have you researched autism and found out what it's like for them, how they think and how they perceive the world? There are some great blogs and youtube videos around, it may help you to understand them more.

Using their autism as an excuse, there's a good article here autisticnotweird.com/excuse/

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