Please or to access all these features

SN teens and young adults

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Young adults with HFA - friendship issues resources needed

6 replies

Cowbells · 19/03/2021 22:36

Hi

DS is at uni, first year. Currently at home, learning online. But was in halls quite disastrously as the flat he was put in had no one else turn up due to Covid so he was alone in the November lockdown and isolated. He has struggled to make friends. A lot of this is circumstance, but he also definitely isn't picking up on cues and today went into uni to meet 'friends' for lunch, waited 1.5 hours after the time he thought they'd agreed to meet, then finally caught up with them and they made their excuses after 15 minutes. He came home deeply upset and said he is so lonely.

I couldn't work out whether he had misread the social cues and they'd been trying to hint that they didn't want to meet, or whether he hadn't made it clear he thought it was a firm arrangement, or whether they are just not that nice and were messing him around because he is low priority to them.

Does anyone know of any good resources for young adults with ASD, especially HFA ones, to help build their confidence and social skills? Are there any books or courses? He doesn't present as typically ASD - doesn't talk at people or stand too close but he is quite intense and literal and he hugely over-analyses social situations and sets massive store by them. E.g. He won't just go to a party. He'll go with the intention of meeting someone new who will end up being one of his best friends for life. I've tried to explain this level of intensity puts people off, but it's hard.

Has anyone found things get any easier socially?

OP posts:
Cowbells · 20/03/2021 06:46

Does anyone have any advice or experience of helping with this please?

OP posts:
FuckYouCorona · 25/03/2021 00:40

I wish I could help. I'm almost 50 & still haven't figured this out for myself. Long since given up on making friends tbh. Sad All my ASD DC found online friends playing computer games. Is your son interested in gaming? His best bet is to seek out online communities who share the same interests as him. Smile

Cowbells · 25/03/2021 07:51

@FuckYouCorona Thank you for your reply. Funnily enough, online communities are where he has found friends and met a couple of them irl with some success, too.

OP posts:
Chaotica · 25/03/2021 14:17

NAS do a course; my DD did it when she was first diagnosed. It's very basic but it teaches social cues and how to hold a conversation. May not work on an older teen though (DD was only 11 when she did it) although it is meant for adults, I think. I'm not sure that she puts it to good use or has even remembered it all, but it has made a difference.

FWIW I'm worried about this too, although DD is younger.

Cowbells · 29/03/2021 18:11

@Chaotica, thank you. I didn't know about that course. I'll look into it.

OP posts:
SuperSleepyBaby · 04/04/2021 06:11

Everyday speech have good social skills videos suitable for young children to older teens. There is an app for it

New posts on this thread. Refresh page