13 year old DD just diagnosed as autistic - help please

[AnaS]

Hi. I have known for ages that my dd was different/difficult. Initial assessments said she didn’t tick enough boxes to be diagnosed as autistic but a further assessment 2 years later has said she is. Not surprised but still a shock! Currently waiting for written report but I don’t know what to do. I know we need help but don’t know what!
She is massively struggling with anxiety (particularly over school) and doesn’t cope well in social situations.
Today she’s come home having ripped her school blazer with a compass in a test because she was so stressed!!
I could cry all the time as I just don’t know what to do. Not sure dh is fully convinced about the diagnosis but is trying!

First, remember she is still your lovely dd, and the same person she was yesterday, and last week and last month.
Secondly, what I would do is join forums / support groups.
NAS is where I would start, but there are others that don't necessarily cover all of the Country.
Then it depends a bit on how you like to learn things. My dh would do some research and find some books to read. I would want coffee and chat with other parents.
I would also want to find out places that my dd could go for information herself, in her own time, when she is ready to - which might not be now, but you won't know when it will be.
Friend's ds found Resources for Autism to be incredibly supportive.

I would also ask at school for an appointment with the SENCo, so you can let them know about the diagnosis, and let them know about the self harm, and ask them how you can work together to support your dd. If they are struggling, then they should have support from their local authority's Autism Team. (Who might also run support sessions for parents).

Back for good has given you great advice. M

I work on an ASD diagnosis team and our reports give pages of recommendations at the end. Hopefully your report will be similar .

Thank you Back for good. Will certainly look at all of that.
Countess frog - hoping for that 🤞🤞

This website looks interesting

thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk

If it makes you feel more optimistic, it's really helped my DD to know and to be able to approach life on that basis. (She's also had specialist help.) It doesn't remove the difficulties she faces, but it does make it more manageable.

Good advice from others on this thread, but everyone with ASD is different and so what works for some won't for others.

Thanks all for your replies. Some useful resources for us to look at.Thanks again x

AnaS I could have written this post. I've always known there was something different about DDs reactions in life and at the age of 12 we've finally reached the moment of truth. It's supposed to be a common age for girls to be diagnosed with ASD as they have such good coping or masking skills. DD showed signs of anxiety from yr3 onwards and it's only now we are realising the extent to which she had been just copying her peers to get through school. Following lockdown and having to leave her comfortable space at home, she has been thrown into panic reentering the school system. There has been some great advice on here so far and I will be following!