What happens next?

[Oddonetoday]

I have a lovely daughter aged 17. Over the last few years her anxiety has worse and more recently suffering from depression. Due to this we had a mental health assessment and it has shown that she has signs of Autism and they now want to refer her - my daughter has decided to progress a possible diagnosis through the process (I’ve no idea what that means)

We now sitting realising we may have missed this completely, we just thought we where lucky to have such a compliant teenager who rarely causes any issues. But reading into now there is a few signs which passed us by! Her biggest issues is around friendship groups (girls) she has struggled so much. Currently going through awful time with bullying and we realise that she is unable to process or understand what or why they are doing it. She thankfully had a great group of boys who she gets on very well with. And has a lovely boyfriend of 18months.

Even after multiple calls and an email the school we still waiting to speak to the head of year.

I suppose I just wanted to write it down & trying to understand what the next steps will be.

I'm not surprised she's struggling. Being a teenager is hard enough already without also having (possible) autism. I think it will be very helpful for your DD to find out one way or another as then she can access suitable help for anxiety and social situations. Knowing what her difficulties and limitations are (and her strengths) will help her to work around them.

At school, have you tried the Senco or similar? DD was still in primary (Y6) when diagnosed, but the Senco took charge of the referral and the diagnosis was very quick. (I know this is not always the case.)

We have now touched base with school so hopefully things will progress that side.

It’s hard for me as I see her so sad and with her loosing the girls friendship (to be honest not very nice people so secretly relieved) she hasn’t anyone to talk too - she finding school so hard right now, mocks coming up, uni applications needed to be started :( & now this.

She broke last night thinking she will never be independent- we reassured her she will be fine & this process will enable her to hopefully deal with the anxiety & emotional issues she’s going through.

You'll need to advocate for her every step of the way.

Find out exactly what the school are referring her for, who they are referring her to and whether that will result in a full diagnostic assessment.

Find out the timescale for that. The average wait for primary and adult assessments, depending on the area you're in was 18 months to 2 years pre-Covid.

Don't rely on phone conversations, document everything in writing and follow up conversations with an email.

Will she be going into further ed? An EHCP lasts until 25 years old so that may be worth your while pursuing.

Assessment won't necessarily have any therapies attached, but it will help her to know that communication skills, anxiety etc. are not something that she's causing, things are not her fault. That's usually a huge weight off newly diagnosed adults' shoulders. They suddenly realise they're nor "wrong" there's a medical neurological reason for how they see the world and that in itself can be liberating.

Definitely read and watch ASD in Women youtube info, there's a lot about.

The neurodiversity support threads on MN may be helpful for you to read through to see things from autistic peoples' viewpoints www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_teens_and_young_adults/4025353-Who-do-I-go-to-get-private-screening-diagnosis-for-autism-for-18-year-old-daughter