Not sure I am posting this in the right section, so sorry if i haven't. Looking for experience of ways to help an older teen with exceptionally poor social skills which we'd hoped would get better over time but havent. Wondering if it's worth getting a diagnosis or not really. Could write a book on his quirks but the main jist of it is:
Very academically able - taught himself to read before going to school, photographic memory, straight As in his exams.
Exceptionally poor motor control - he gets extra time in exams to type because his handwriting is illegible. Was assessed twice at primary school for dyspraxia and other difficulties such as being really bad at tying shoelaces, organising himself/tasks, throwing and catching, learning to swim. Nothing came of it - some markers indicating dyspraxia, not enough to recommend a diagnosis. He got the extra time in exams so all good.
Social skills - really poor. Can't get on with his siblings, everything has to be done his way. Tendency to "lecture" on his chosen subject, doesn't pick up cues that people just aren't listening or interested. Repeats himself several times. Has a very small social group, not interested in doing the "normal" teenage things like hanging out in other people's houses or going out for pizza or to the cinema. Struggles hugely with conversation even in a family setting unless he is holding forth on a pet subject. Can't do "small talk" about the weather or any other sort of trivial subject. Gives a "running commentary" often even when it's something like making a sandwich - get the bread out of the cupboard, where's the butter, do i want cheese or ham, there you go, put it on a plate, butter back in the fridge...
He has a part time voluntary position in a charity shop and does OK there, he has no shyness at all around new people and will happily serve on the till and deal with customers. Doesn't like speaking on the phone but knowing other teens that appears fairly common.
Just really struggling with how to give him the tools to approach adult life and deal with things like office conversation over last night's Love Island without him alienating everyone by giving them a 20 minute diatribe on how reality TV is brain rotting nonsense. I don't want him to struggle and be unhappy, and confused about why he finds it so hard to make and keep friends.