Age appropriate play

[singlemum2013]

13 yr old DD with ASD still plays with baby doll and pram. Would you allow your 13 yr DD to take baby doll and pram outside to play? I think she should do what she wants but stepdad won’t allow her to play with them in public.

Answering because no-one else has and I have a bit of experience. How severe is her ASD?

Is she trying to get NT friends of that age who might see her? If not, I'd say go for it. If she's happy I don't think it matters what age she is. But if it might influence her relationships with girls or boys her age, it might be better to keep it in private. Have you got a garden she can take the doll out in?

I found there's been a big change in what DD (ASD) likes and what her friends like as she's become a teen; they've really grown apart even though DD isn't interested in toys anymore. She just likes completely different things to most girls her age. I let her get on with it but socially it is a worry.

Thank you. I homeschool DD and she is an only child. Not likely she will meet anyone she knows her own age outside. Step dad to be has said she can play in the back garden with doll and pram but won’t allow her to take doll and pram when we go on a dog walk which is what she keeps asking to do.
Step dad to be is very strict.
In the past we used to live in an area that had a youth club for youth on the spectrum which she liked attending. I will have to look into what we have locally. Any clubs she attends with NT kids doesn’t work as well although she does try she just doesn’t fit in.
She was diagnosed at age 9. I was told she is in the “middle” so not severe and not Aspergers.

Stepdad to be has no business making any decisions about what he will or will not "allow" her to do. He has no authority to do that.
He needs to be stepdad NOT to be.

Being "strict" with an autistic child to make their behaviour appear to be NT is frankly abuse. Whatever future you are planning with him, please reconsider, he's a walking red flag as far as your DD's wellbeing is concerned.

Kids with AN tend to have an emotional age at around two thirds of their chronological age.

She needs kindness and support and full understanding of her condition, she does not need someone to bully her into behaving like her age peers and making her hide away when she does something different. Different is not 'wrong'

Age appropriate play is not a thing that exists in Autism. There's a guy on twitter who works at the BBC and takes a toy lion around with him everywhere he goes. It's the way he is. Shouldn't be an issue. Step dad to be really needs to educate himself about autism and get on board or your daughter's life (and yours) is going to be horrible.

My late daughter and my 18yr old son were/ are autistic and I always allowed/allow them to play with whatever they wish whenever they wished to because I could see that they were/are benefitting from it.

I really didn't care what anyone else thought about it because it was none of their business. My same sex partner remains neutral because she's not their mum, I am; she simply supports us and offers her perspective when asked.

Your partner needs to be told in no uncertain terms that he's crossing the line and he needs to stop.

14 year old with learning disabilities loves cuddly toys. His bedroom is full of them. He cuddles done of them on sofa when watching TV. He is not doing any harm. If your dd wants to take doll in pram when you go for s walk she is not hurting anyone either. A step parent has no right to be strict with her. He probably believes if he is strict her behaviour by will become more normal. You need to protect your dd and set him straight. Teaching a child tight from wrong is one thing but not allowing her to enjoy her childhood is cruel.