DS with ASD and ADHD depressed after PIP face to face

[stormsurfer]

I am DSs appointee and we went to the PIP face to face assessment. It was very focussed on what things he cannot do that "normal" people his age would be able to do.

I do understand why they need to ask this, but at 16 are all other teenagers really capable of independent living? It all seemed as though they were asking him 2 years too soon.

Anyway, DS has become very depressed after it and is very worried he will never live independently as an adult. He seems happy if I'm his carer and help him, but is upset at the thought of needing carers or supported living.

He seems to have taken it all very literally and now keeps repeating all the things he can't do and won't ever be able to do. I do know he will be able to do some more of the tasks later as I teach him, but he won't listen to me.

Anyone been through similar and have any suggestions how I can help him become more positive again?

Have you got a copy of the report? If not, do get one so you can go through it with him.

Try and explain as best you can and in as many different ways that you can that this report is ONLY an assessment of his needs.

It is NOT an assessment of him as a whole person, so anyone reading it should understand it only describes a tiny bit of him.

It only focuses on the very small negative areas in his day.

It is structured to provide assessors and DWP with very basic information about his [often medical] needs, it does not take any account of his personality, sense of humour and especially any talents he has in other areas of his life.

It is not a description of him, what's in that report is only a description of a very small part of him.
All the report contains are scores for the things they asked him about, Activities of Daily Living and Planning and Making Journeys.
Remind him that he does loads more than those tasks every day and give examples.

Other people he interacts with on a daily basis do not see him as a person being anything like the way he is described in the report. That's because the report only concentrates on a very small part of his daily life.

Can you go through the report and explain what people with different disabilities couldn't do, the point being to show him other people have different struggles to him but still have needs that the report can identify.

Can you make a list of things he excels at, things he enjoys doing, things he can do easily, things he can help other people to do and any other positives you can think of to show him that he CAN and DOES achieve things, he's a great person.

Thank you. That is wonderful advice. We don't have the report yet, it was the meeting that has depressed him.

I will go through the points as you suggest and break it down into specifics and give him positives to counter balance the negatives.

I know how hard it is, 20 positives and one negative and only that negative becomes the primary focus.

You'll do it, it's just a case of finding the right way to explain about looking at things in perspective so he can do it too.

Thank you.

It's so tough because now he has even more negatives to dwell on! As if it all was t hard enough already.