Giving 12 year old with asd more independence

[Annabelandgeorge]

My 12 yr old son is in yr 7 at secondary. While he was still at primary he had two good friends who we'd meet up regularly outside of school with these lovely boys and their Mum's. It's tricky now they're older. One of the other boys is also perhaps undiagnosed asd, the other boy is still 11 he's an August baby he's very sweet but very young for his age and his Mum doesn't want to let him out of her sight. Yesterday we were at the park. The three of mum's were watching over the boy's play. Huge groups of other children from their year were there, messing about and were picking on our three boys. I feel part of the teasing is because we mum's were there. I want to give my son a bit more independence but because of his asd I feel like I can't let him play alone with friends he lacks the social understanding and as he gets older it get's harder. A few days before I mentioned to my friends the possibility of dropping boys at the cinema, getting them seated and then we mum's go to a local cafe while the boy's watch film. Mum of 11 year old not happy with that suggestion. My son won't go alone. I need ideas of how I can keep him safe but increase independence.

Just bumping this thread for you, OP.

My son is also 12 and asd, i am trying small steps in the first instance, he walks the 1/4 mile to school on his own (although there is low level bullying on the way) and attend after school sports clubs, for the first time he is bathing on his own and going to bed without a fuss. these are things that parents of neuro-typicals take for granted but for us it is real progress. He is desperate for friends and only has one 'real' friend, his peers at school don't even try to understand him. He is going on an overnight school trip to Peak District with school and I am so worried that he will have a panic attack or something will go wrong. Hope it goes well so it can build his confidence because he is always putting himself down.

Ds is 14 and currently being assessed for asd. He has little to no independence outside of the house. I think once we are through the diagnosis process I will start with small steps. He needs reminding to shower, eat breakfast pack school bag etc.

Next week he is meant to be going on a two night school trip. He is very anxious and the school are trying to persuade him this week. He has never been away from us overnight as he could not manage his primary school residential. Like vickibees's son my Ds has low self esteem and not really any friends. Unfortunately he is regularly teased too. It is really frustrating at times when your child is struggling with something that other children find so easy and natural to do. I worry that people judge us.

I think for your son Anna it's just a matter of small steps and hopefully his confidence will grow as he matures. Be guided by what he feels comfortable with. Ds has just started at a youth group for teenagers with communication issues and asd, this is a safe environment for him to hopefully increase his social skills and confidence. Would your son be interested in a similar kind of group?