My child wants to kill themselves

[JessTavener]

Every day I see my child self harm. What do I do? Ive tried to stop them but they just cut deeper. HELP US!

Hi, I've just seen this post and didn't want it to go unanswered. Without a bit more background it's hard to offer much in the way of advice, but I can assure you that you are not alone. If you haven't done so, then do take you child to the GP - if they won't go, you go anyway. In terms of reacting to the self harm, the advice we got was to stay calm and matter of fact about it - offer practical help with ensuring the wounds are clean and provide any plasters or bandages you think necessary. It is usually pretty counter productive to react with shock or anger or tears. It is however okay to lock away sharp implements. It doesn't really stop them, but might limit the damage if all they can lay their hands on is a pencil sharpener blade rather than anything larger. There is an organisation called Young Minds, who are a good source of advice.

Sorry, I should add - if your child is talking of suicide or you are concerned that they might be thinking of acting on such thoughts, take them to A&E. They won't think you are wasting their time. In my experience, A&E staff were by far the best NHS staff we encountered when dealing with our daughter's mental health problems.

Speaking from the perspective of someone who self-harmed as a child, telling your DC to stop won't help. Self-harm is like an addiction, you can't just stop and knowing that what you're doing is hurting the people you care about can make you feel worse, which can in turn make you want to self-harm more.

I would echo blimppy and say if you haven't made an appointment with your GP, do so and if your child is talking of suicide, take them to A&E.

YoungMinds has parent helpline which may be useful for you and a lot of information. It might be worth doing a quick search for any support groups in your area too.

Try to stay as calm as possible when talking to your child about it, I know it can be really hard, but it will help so much. I know when I was in a bad place, distractions helped a lot. Going out for walks, watching something on TV (as long as I had something to fiddle with while I was doing it), colouring, my cousin still swears by paint by numbers. Encourage your child to spend as much time in the same room as you even if you're not talking, that can help.

My cousin found that squeezing an ice cube used to really help her, or putting an ice pack wrapped in a t-towel on her face/putting her head under cold water.

How are things OP? Have you managed to get any help?