it is so depressing reading these posts about teens/adults with aspergers

[datkins]

for someone who has asd, reading your posts makes me feel there is no hope to be found for a successful future, like surely we're not that incapable to function in everyday life? can someone post positive stories and reassure me that we're not all going to end up as sad lonely people living a miserable existence?

Hello Datkins,

I think the problem is that people (like me) turn to forums when there is a problem. I have worked and lived with people who have ASC and who are living, happy, successful and fulfilled lives. One of my tutors at university is one of the most gregarious and engaging men I have known and he has Asperger syndrome. Similarly, my nephew is married with two lovely children and works as a software designer. He has AS and dyslexia.

Some positive stories like OP says would be great.

I'm 41 and am currently going through dx for ASD. My 18yo DD was dx 4 years ago.

She has struggled in her 1st yr at 6th form college but is resitting the year and has made a couple of friends. She doesn't socialise - her choice - but is very active in a group chat and is considered the comedian of the group for her dry wit.

I have worked in the same place for 17 years. I currently help colleagues who are struggling with our computer system or are stuck with something. I've been in a relationship now for almost 7 years with a man who doesn't always understand why I am how I am but then what man ever understands women properly!

I don't have loads of friends but my best friend of over 20 years says she wouldn't have me any other way except how I am and is recently (last week!) went on my very first "girls" holiday with 5 others who were so accommodating to me and actually took me back to our hotel in the middle of one night out because it was too much for me.

ASD does not mean a reduced life. It's a different life to some but then life would be boring if we were all the same!

Agree with you 100%! So glad that you posted and I wish your daughter all the best with 6th form.

The thing with forums is that people tend to turn to them when they are in distress. It's an unlikely place to turn to and post when things are going well or, if you have a particular diagnosis, everything is good for you. So they can give the impression that if you have a particular diagnosis (in this case AS) then all is doom and gloom.
My husband and three children (all young adults now) are all on the spectrum. Hubby has always had a good career, friends, hobbies etc - he is honest, hard-working, conscientious, kind and he also happens to have AS. Our children all went to university, got good jobs, have friends, have/had partners, live independently.
The truth is that everyone who has AS is different and it's very important to remember that. Some who have it also have other co-morbid conditions or mental health problems - but that is just some people.
There is a saying that I like that goes: if you meet one person who has asperger's syndrome then you have met one person who has asperger's syndrome. In other words, everyone who has it will be different, and the characteristics of AS will vary greatly in intensity etc.

datkins hi. I’m 55 and have Aspergers. I have a son who has asd. I have a loving and successful marriage and was a nurse for 25 years. I consider myself a success. There are differences and difficulties but as I’ve aged, I care less. I’m less inclined to try too hard to fit in and so I don’t get as stressed.

It’s not all doom and gloom.

Its not all doom and gloom. Dd has gained employment and held the job for months and counting whilst now considering university options. Its been rocky at times but the differences that seemed a problem at 13 dont seem to affect as much now, shes even socialising! Every asd person is different but in our experience she adapts and learns social skills in her own time (eg her interests are more like a younger teen except the alcohol!)