daughter with mild SN has no friends at school

[bubsyboo]

I'm new to mumsnet and am in real need for some advice please! I have a 13 year old daughter with mild special needs - she has real processing issues and cannot gauge situations with friendships. She is often seen just following other girls around and I can see she can be quite irritating. However she's very kind and will do anything for anyone. She's never asked anywhere and if she ever invites a 'friend' over they can never come. I've run out of excuses as to why. I have 3 other children, girls aged 16 and 14 and an 11 boy, all of whom are popular and confident which makes it worse. I'm running out of ideas and it's heartbreaking to watch - Please help!

I've never had the confidence to post on Mumsnet before but having read your post today it struck a chord. I know something of what you are going through because I too have a daughter with mild learning difficulties and she has struggled since she was about 9 or 10 to make friends and be included in things. I'm sorry to say I have no easy solutions to the problems you and your daughter are experiencing but I just wanted you to know I read your post and hope that things will improve. I guess you have spoken to the SENCO at school to see if they can offer any support? Does your daughter have any hobbies/interests or go to any clubs where there might be the opportunity of meeting someone she hits it off with? I'm sure these are things you are already doing though, just as we have. My daughter went to Girls Brigade for many years and although she sometimes had issues with friendships there she really did feel part of it and had great fun . She is now 24 and has a few friends but none who are really close - she gets very down about it so I know what you mean when you say it's heartbreaking. We have a local support group for carers where you have the chance to meet other parents/carers in a similar situation possibly. Perhaps there is something near you, could be worth a try.
You sound like a very caring and resourceful mum, so your daughter is very lucky in that respect! I hope someone else may be able to offer some advice.

It's so heart breaking when you feel your child isn't accepted. Other children can be so uncaring or don't understand.

I agree, speak to the SENCO, try clubs that interest her, or see if there's a local SN group for parents and children, although in my experience these tends to be for primary aged children, but you never know your luck!
Does joining the Guides interest her? What does she do with her spare time at home? Can you somehow use that to engage her with like minded friends.
Would your 14 year old daughter not be able to include her sometimes in her activities ... not all the time, but just to help increase her understanding of how groups of friends behave together .. kind of like mentoring by her own sister?