Support for mums with Asperger's teen daughter

[Dolores2015]

Hello,
I'm brand new to mumsnet and hope that someone will be able to point me in the right direction.
My teenage daughter has just been diagnosed ASD, after 8 years in the diagnosis system. While it's no surprise to me, I could really do with support from a discussion forum of mums in the same situation. I've previously searched through all ASD websites, including those listed here, but when I click on links, pages can't be found, when I email no-one replies and when I call the number is not answered. The NHS have been unable to offer any guidance as to where I might find support in parenting. I am neurotypical but both my mother and brother and ex-husband have Asperger's. Ironically, I'm the odd one out! It would be great to talk to those who understand how stressful it can be parenting a child with ASD, even one as wonderful and funny as my own.

Here's hoping!!! :)

Hi. After months of struggling with anxiety and depression (which I spoke about on the Children's Mental Health discussion group), DD, who is nearly 17, has now been referred for an ASD assessment. It is clear now that she has some profound ASD traits. Not sure what I'm looking for here really, other than a bit of support, and maybe some top tips for helping her! Having left college a few months ago, she now has no real friends. She is emotionally immature and prone to irrational outbursts over the most trivial of things. She isolates herself in her room most of the time and doesn't really want to do anything. For instance, she has today refused to come on a long planned theatre trip (she has enjoyed theatre previously). On the plus side, she has a job, and regularly attends dance classes which she loves.

There seems to be woefully little support for asd once children have left education. You really have to search it out. Depression and anxiety is very common in asd people. This thread has been very useful to touch base with others so that I feel I'm not alone.

My dd, now 21, seems to have lots of similarities with your dd, blimppy. It's great about your dd's job and dance classes but it's hard not to feel overwhelmed by the negatives, isn't it? My dd is finishing university next summer so I'm trying to float about some ideas for her afterwards. She thrives on structured timetables and endless hours when lectures are not on have been a vacuum to a large extent. She has made friends at uni in the uk but just finished a year abroad where she made not one. One thing she is interested in is how asd effects people and also the provisions, or lack of mental health care for young people in this country.

As has been mentioned on this thread before, it would be great if there was a way our children could contact each other in some way through social media but I don't know if they'd be up for it or not. Anyone got any thought?

I thought I would let you know how the great "you have aspergers" convo went. It started off really well, she raised the subject of being different and it just naturally flowed from there. I was feeling very relieved. But since it has sunk in she has repeatedly said how she "doesn't want this thing" and that she will refuse any help for it. I am hoping time will mellow this!

Hi Pig. Well done for doing the conversation. My dd goes up and down in her thoughts about it. She finds it difficult particularly because she was officially diagnosed as having some markers and is borderline. In reality she has aspects where she seems completely neurotypical. But others when not at all. Today she was upset by something and said she wished she was "normal". Girls with aspergers are supposed to be good at copying neurotypical behaviour to fit in which is supposed to be an advantage. But I think that must be very stressful. And when things "slip up" people who associate with Asperger girls must be very puzzled.

If you are the parent of a girl with autism, please could you take part in my survey?

I'm Lucy, mum to two boys with ASD. After they were diagnosed, I retrained (previously an optician) and am now a qualified counsellor for children and young people working for the NHS. I have a complete passion and empathy for working with children with ASD and their families.

I am now, as the final part of my MA in Counselling Children and Young People, doing a research project on the experiences of the parents of girls with ASD. There is quite a bit of research out there about the girls, but none on how the parents experience the process. As a parent myself, albeit of boys, I found it tough, and I hope that my research might add to the move towards considering parents as part of the process.

My survey takes about twenty minutes to complete, and has been authorised and ethically approved by my university. Participation is entirely anonymous. I really want to give parents a voice so that the result is truly parent-led.

Thank you

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