help for 15yo old dd with ASD and mental health issues

[ClaraM]

My dd 15 seems to have completely fallen apart over the last year. She is diagnosed with low-level ASD, she has social anxiety (very quiet at school, no friends), lots of repetitive behaviours at home, OCD and sees CAMHS. She has more recently been having almost manic outbursts with extreme anger and is suffering from serious paranoia. We are waiting to see a psychiatrist who may recommend medication. She is not doing well with her GCSEs at all, can't concentrate and has minimal motivation.

I've no idea what she should do next year at college at all. Her school are hopeless - only just considering applying for a statement for her, it's so painfully slow. SENCO seems overwhelmed with workload.

Her Dad (we're divorced) is really unpleasant about it all - blames everything on me. Keeps trying to get her to live with him, she doesn't want to.

No idea where to turn for help or advice. School hopeless, college tells me to talk to school! I can see her failing all GCSEs and unable to cope with college, staying at home doing nothing. I have another teenage dd with severe learning disabilities too, fortunately the system seems to provide better for her (at the moment).

Bump

I'm no expert, but I wouldn't think she's likely to recover while she's under so much pressure at school. I'd think a period of stress-free regrouping might start her on the road to better mental health. Right now it sounds like you're fire-fighting, and not making progress because there is always pressure to be well and capable NOW.

Is school applying for the statement/EHCP or are you doing it yourself? You might find things move more quickly if you take control - you'd only have one child to consider, whereas the SENCo probably has dozens. Plus, parental applications have a right to tribunal if necessary, schools don't.

I'm not suggesting that this is what you should do, but in your position I'd take her out to home educate and allow her time to recover. You could still continue with the EHCP assessment and get her needs documented. There is no rush for GCSEs, her mental health is far more important right now and she can take them later, when she can cope with them.

Thanks streakybacon, your advice makes complete sense. I agree that she's not likely to improve much while at school. I have recently looked into home ed (a bit tricky as I am currently working). While I think we could do it, I'm not sure dd would pay any attention to me or it at the moment. But as you say, now is the time to get better rather than think about exams. I have mentioned it to her, but she is very resistant about it - her school attendance is good despite all her worries. I don't think she likes the idea of doing something different to 'normal'.

I didn't know I could apply for the EHCP myself (the school are doing it but it is very slow). Is there anywhere I could get help with how to go about this? I will look online, but wonder if it might be more difficult to get one if I do it myself since I don't know what I'm doing? Thanks

A good place to start would be the current SEN Code of Practice which was issued in September 2014 to reflect changes in the system from statements to EHC plans here.

If you are considering home education, you might want to look at Ed Yourself here. There's not much Fiona doesn't know about HE and her website looks at all the legislation with a home educator's eye to make it relevant for us.

My son was a lot younger than dd when we deregistered him, but it helped to make a list of pros and cons about HE and that helped him decide it was a better option. Maybe you could try something similar - a visual representation (a longer list for one than the other) can make all the difference.

About fitting around work, don't forget that in HE you're not obliged to stick to school hours, and you don't have to work to National Curriculum - so in practice you can fit 'work' in during the evenings and at weekends. My son's programme is about a 50-50 split between academic and personal development/life skills so to begin with your daughter's could be focusing on self-awareness, learning to manage her stress levels, and recovery.

It might help to look at the 2007 Guidelines for LAs which is the current legal guidance for home education here. It's worth knowing your rights and responsibilities ahead of the game as some LAs are a bit lax about sticking to the guidance.

Your daughter sounds as if she would be ideal for online schooling. There are a few around and some threads on this on the home schooling thread. There are a few that spring to mind - Inter High, First College, Brite School. My DD went to Inter High a few years back and we were impressed. There may be others offering similar now. Don't worry about her falling behind a year or two, it's really not important in the overall scheme of things.

Hi ClaraM,

I'm going through the SN teens board so have only just seen this and was wondering how you and dd are now?
My own AS dd has had mental health issues, which is very common. I hope that things are better for you both.
:)