help please i dont know what to do

[samandkat]

My brother who is twenty-one next month has got asperges ADHD and autism aswell as a few other mental problems that I can remember the names of

He lives with our dad and claims DLA he has never worked and does not understand the reality of the outside world or how hard it can be for someone like him to cope with been independent

He has broken our dad he does not seem to care for anyone but himself he wants to move out which no one is stopping him he says that its so easy to get a job etc etc etc

I just don't know what to do I've tryed talking to him but he won't listen as I am apparently wrong I've tryed showing him reality but he just looks the other way me and our dad are stuck at what to do

I'm sure you know all about your brother's condition and that his condition can be the reason he doesn't understand the reality of the outside world and that it will be hard for him. It may come across as being stubborn, or him not listening to reason, but it really comes down to the fact he actually may not be able to take in the advice you're giving him. He may not be able to process it.

Despite his conditions he is an adult, and wants to be an adult - doing things other adults do. He probably doesn't understand why he needs to be treated differently.

Your brother should be able to live independently if he wants to and support should be put in place for him. It may be worth contacting social services who can help get these things in motion. Social services is not just about helping abused children. Him living independently does not mean he will live on his own left to his own devices. If your family is prepared to fight for what he needs (because no one hands it to you on a plate, believe me you have to fight to get him the help he needs) then they may be able to get him into a residential where he lives with carers 24/7 in a house with a couple of other people with similar conditions.

I have a brother who has autism, but also more severe learning disabilities. He lives in a residential with a few other people and he loves being independant and he really enjoys living where he is. he gets to call the shots and he's supported in every way.

If your father cannot cope, it really isn't a good situation, and you need to ask for help x