Advice please, ten year old girl with aspergers?

[theaveragebear1983]

I am beginning to think that my ten year old daughter has some form of aspergers. I really don't know what to do now or who to go to for any advice.
I work in the prison service in education, and so I regularly encounter men with autism and aspergers. After some recent training, I began to suspect that my daughter has some form of this condition. The symptoms/signs are becoming more apparent as she is growing up. Such as:

• highly intelligent, maths especially, mental arithmetic etc.
• excellent reader, almost obsessive

-socially immature, almost babyish (often used to think this was shyness), has a cuddly toy which she would take everywhere if I didn't stop her

• lack of personal care (eg grooming, teeth brushing, clean clothes)

-obsessive in nature,

• obsesed with animals
• becoming increasingly introverted
• needs to be told again and again to perform simple daily tasks
• appears to have little care sometimes for feeling ( especially mine)
• sometimes clumsy, avoids team sports, messy handwriting, careless, forgetful, VERY untidy
• little interest in 'girly' things
• throws howling meltdowns like a toddler, even at school, without appearing to be concerned that people will see
• fussy eater, especially trying new foods and different brands of foods (not sureif this is to do with the sensory side of it)
• 'stims' by hair pulling, and more recently, nail biting

I don't believe she has a severe case of this, if she has it at all. In some ways she doesn't fit the criteria. Some days she is definitely worse than others. It's just that recently, the more research I do, the more I recognise the symptoms in her. I am concerned that I have been getting angry with her about things when perhaps it's not her fault and I feel guilty.

There's not a lot of information about girls and aspergers, and I'm not sure where to go next? school have never said anything to me about this, but should school be my first point of contact? Anyone with any advice, I'd be really grateful

You have just described my daughter, she's 9 and has Aspergers.

Hi. My daughter is now 11 and diagnosed aged 10. We are still awaiting an appointment through the public health system but got a private diagnosis - well worth paying for. What you describe is my daughter in some shape or form, adores reading and won't stop until a book is finished. Poor handwriting and slow at writing. Wears same clothes over and over, dislikes girly stuff, needs constant reminding to brush teeth, hair etc. had poor fine motor skills but improving. Have been told to get her typing so she can used a laptop at secondary school, disorganised, prefers plain food, loves animals and factual programmes on TV. Gets on better with children a few years younger than she is, will have friends round after school but quite happy in her own company, big sense of justice and people being fair/unfair. The list is endless. Her diagnosis helped us understand her and have more patience and we can now turn very frustrating situations around. We know there will be difficulties in the future but I feel much more able to cope now. Sometimes her outbursts had me in tears. I feel much happier with having a diagnosis. It is a lengthy process but very valuable. Leane Holliday Wiley is a good source, so is Tony attwood and I read a very good book aspergers in pink available on amazon. Have to say the school never picked up on any of the signs and that may be due to the fact that it is seen as a boys' condition and so much is written about that and not about girls.

Also, I agree about writing things down. I made notes a few years ago when my daughter was referred for occupational therapy and they proved invaluable when I was going down the asperger diagnosis route because I had forgotten so much of how she was as a baby and when she started school. Try and remember and jot down as much as possible, examples of situations etc because if you seek professional guidance it is very difficult to recall everything when you are under the time constraints of a medical appointment.

Sounds very like my dd. She was diagnosed in Year 7 - the change to Secondary School proved a huge challenge and brought things to a head so that she wasn't coping in school any more. Unlike many boys with AS, girls are generally good at mimicking social behaviours and so are often under the radar at primary schools. I wish we had got a diagnosis sooner, as then more appropriate help might have been in place and prevented the last two difficult years of coming to terms with her condition and her problems with mainstream schooling!

Hermit. My exPerience is exactly the same as yours! Would you tell me how you have helped your dd? My dd cannot do mainstream and has been in a pupil referral unit.

I could have written your post Averagebear! So far we have seen an EDucational psychologist (private) as school said they were not concerned, there was no learning disabilities, but bad hand writing and poor coordination noted, so I managed to get an Ocupational therapy assessment on the NHS, but also went private as the NHS was was really superficial IMO, she has Sensory disorder, low muscle tone and poor hand writing, together with high anxiety and low self esteem. Interestingly she self diagnosed with ASD 2 weeks ago, we are going to see the GP to get a referral to CAHMS as she had a bout of self harming that was really alarming. The social and academic pressure at school is getting under her skin, we dropped drama club and she asked to be put in the lower set in maths, which I agreed on. She is in a calmer place now, we all have read a lot about Asperger's in girls and it really makes sense. I hope the GP will agree for a proper referral and diagnosis because the school will not help otherwise.

I could have written your post Averagebear! So far we have seen an EDucational psychologist (private) as school said they were not concerned, there was no learning disabilities, but bad hand writing and poor coordination noted, so I managed to get an Ocupational therapy assessment on the NHS, but also went private as the NHS was was really superficial IMO, she has Sensory disorder, low muscle tone and poor hand writing, together with high anxiety and low self esteem. Interestingly she self diagnosed with ASD 2 weeks ago, we are going to see the GP to get a referral to CAHMS as she had a bout of self harming that was really alarming. The social and academic pressure at school is getting under her skin, we dropped drama club and she asked to be put in the lower set in maths, which I agreed on. She is in a calmer place now, we all have read a lot about Asperger's in girls and it really makes sense. I hope the GP will agree for a proper referral and diagnosis because the school will not help otherwise.