Can someone help me please - DS2 may have Asbergers?

[notagiraffe]

Just been told by his school that they think his problems (which I thought were a combination of dyspraxia and mild childhood depression, both of which he may have inherited) are actually Asbergers. I feel rather scared and thrown by this. He may also have dyspraxia - I hadn't realised how many of the symptoms overlap.

Feeling rather scared for him and unsure what to do for him, for the best. Can anyone offer any support - any suggestions where to look, go, what to do? For some reason I feel really upset, not relieved and am so scared for him. He's just started a new school, and I'd thought his teething troubles were common to all children settling in, but the school doesn't seem to think so. And they think he's very unpopular, which makes my heart break for him.

First port of call is your GP to be referred for an actual AS diagnosis, then talk to the school to see what SEN support he may need education-wise.

How much support he needs depends on his needs as an individual as all people with AS are different in their abilities and disabilities - depending on how severe his dyspraxia is, he may need help from an occupational therapist, for example, or his depression might need to be treated by a child psychologist.

This page by Tony Attwood is a good intro to Aspergers:

www.tonyattwood.com.au/index.php/about-aspergers

...and the National Autistic Society website is full of useful information:

www.autism.org.uk/

I have Aspergers but was only diagnosed last year at the grand old age of 36 - it would have made my life much easier had I known from an early age that there was a reason for my struggling so much with simple things that others do easily.

(BTW, it's Aspergers with a 'P', not a 'B'; may help you with your internet searches.)

Happy to chat if you want advice; have first hand experience of this after all!

Best,

x

C

As Caillleach says, a good place to start is with the GP to ask for a referral and get a proper diagnosis. Asperger’s and dyspraxia do overlap so it’s a good idea to get him checked out by experts who will be able to distinguish between the two, or he may have a combined diagnosis. With the right diagnosis in place your DS will be able to get the help he needs so that his social abilities can improve. Don’t be afraid to ask the new school what help they can give him, when my DS started secondary school they sent him along to a youth club specially to help kids who were having social difficulties settle in and make friends. Also the diagnosis may bring specialist help. There might be youth groups locally for kids with Asperger’s where your DS can just “be himself”. And my DS got offered a place in a “social and communications skills” group for kids with Asperger’s run by a language therapist where they learn (among other useful things!) how to get along with other kids without annoying them.

I’m sorry this is such a scary time for you . My DS was diagnosed with Asperger’s at 6 and that was a tough time for all of us, but things did get better. We have a clearer understanding of what he can do and what he struggles with, and we and the school can help him. And now (aged 15) he’s not the world’s greatest social butterfly but he gets by well enough.

Try to remember that he is your same boy. You are enjoying him and coping with him ...and you have done this since he was born.A different tag won't change that.

Someone said this to me when ds was 8 and it helped a lot. Ds (now 16) was dx with Aspergers/ high functioning autism and dyspraxia at 10 years old.

What it will change ( when you have him diagnosed formally via gp referral) is the level of support and understanding he is getting. It also offers protection and acts as a flag so that people don't automatically jump to conclusions about his behaviour .

Good luck .... He will be ok

Hi, Ds diagnosed with Aspergers 6 months ago, age 12, after secondary school advised us to go to Gp who referred him to CAMHS. this was after years of us wondering if there was some sort of underlying issue but being reassured by primary school that there wasn't. Diagnosis and the support we have had since has really helped explain quite a lot of things- and DS was so relieved and pleased to read about other people similar to him, it has made it easier to fully accept the way he is - he is a lovely lad but can be quite solitary - and not spend so much time trying to get him to do things that I think he should do...Just trying to say try not to worry, it can be really helpful to find out. DS does get quite low from time to time but I think less so now he knows about the aspergers, I think it has made him wonder less about being different and understand that he is just one of a group of people who see the world a different way. Good luck ......

Thank you all so much for your replies. I checked a few times and thought the post had gone unanswered, so have only just seen these.
Thanks for the links.

Klein Didn't realise how clueless I was about it (including how to spell it!) It's interesting that there's an overlap between Aspbergers and dyspraxia - I had no idea.

Trout - a friend said just that to me when I was first told this, and it was such a lovely reassuring thing to hear.

Cailleach - thank you - I might PM you if that's OK.