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DD was punched in the face and kicked at school today...

30 replies

monica2 · 12/07/2005 19:40

Feel so sad atm, spent a really constructive morning with the senco today then received a call 5 mins before leaving to collect dd, that a boy had kicked and punched her in the face before throwing soil at her . She has an obsession about this boy which has become more intense since her only real friend left the school recently.

The boy who did it was excluded immediately until further notice. But the senco did say that dd was standing very close to him staring at him and he became angry when dd wouldn't leave him alone.

I got her home and she seemed very numb but then when I tried to cuddle her she said she would rather play on the computer, she doesn't really like cuddles etc and I know this is therapeutic to her but I felt so crap not being of any comfort to her after such a horrible ordeal.

There have been previous incidents of this nature but I am really concerned as her peers are getting bigger and stronger (this lad is nearly 11 with a 6 pack) that one day soon her injuries may be worse (she has only got a red mark on her face from today). I feel like I am failing dd sending her to an environment each day that is obviously difficult for her to make sense of. She just seems so vulnerable.

I have spent the last 6 months investing a lot of time with the school but we have really come unstuck with her not generalising into the playground the social skills she is learning in her one to one time. She had recently been discharged from S and L therapy but the senco pointed out that language is only 30% of communication and she still has significant social communication difficulties. I don't know what more I can do to address these at school to avoid any similar incidents like this in the near future.

OP posts:
coppertop · 13/07/2005 18:37

How's it going, Monica?

MABS · 13/07/2005 18:55

Monica, only just seen this. So very sorry my love. How are you doing?

spidermama · 13/07/2005 18:59

Sorry to hear this Monica.

My dd went through a long bad spell with particular boys hassling and hurting her. I felt so powerless. The school could only do a limited amount.

I researched home schooling and was keyed up to put it into practise if needed. Mercifully she seemed to sort things out for herself.

Even though it would be a radical decision, I felt empowered and undaunted at the prospect of home schooling and feel ready to go through with it if ever necessary with any of my kids.

monica2 · 13/07/2005 19:49

Thanks so much for all your support and advice, I got a call back from dd's support worker from the asd outreach team (took your excellent advice)and asked her about the feasibility of dd's one to one shadowing her at playtime, she feels this is an excellent idea as it would also enable them to address the other social communication problems within the playtime environment and hopefully overcome the lack of generalising issues.
I also put a call in to the very small prep school we currently intend to send dd to in Sept 06 but they do not have any places for this Sept (as we thought) so I really hope this extra supervision can be sorted for Sept, her final year in this school. I think this prep school is the only provision for her come secondary age, we are obviously having to pay for it but what has happened this week has confirmed that there is no way she could cope in a large m/s secondary but wouldn't fit in a specialist school either, feel she is "in between two worlds" but not quite fitting in to either IYKWIM.

Got a big hug too from dd as she trotted off into school this morning, my brave little girl

OP posts:
Blossomhill · 13/07/2005 20:39

Monica - glad you managed to get some feedback so quickly and I am sure that the extra support at times dd finds hardest (play/dinner times) will help and make a difference.

I know what you mean about not quite fitting ms or specialist school. My dd is like this and attends a unit which is great as she has time out in small groups and then support in ms. Do they have units near you for high school as we have a really good provision in our borough. I find that most schools with specialist units are more geared up in the ms part as they are used to having children with these kinds of difficulties. Although I am sure the small prep school will be really good for dd too.
You must be very proud of dd. She does indeed sound very brave xxx

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