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Is this Aspergers?

31 replies

hercules · 02/07/2005 18:53

My db is nearly 40 years old and has always been different. We've never lived together as my dm left his dad when he was about 5 years old and he stayed with his dad.
He therefore had a traumatic childhood along with severe excema/asthma/nutallergy, all of which he still suffers greatly from as an adult.
His odd behaviour has always been put down to his childhood, depression and incredibly low self esteem.

However, since teaching a few kids with aspergers and reading about it, discussing it with my sister who did grow up with him and my dm, we are pretty convinced he has apergers.

Things include as a child:
learning and knowing off by heart the make and model of all cars and being obsessed with number plates.
collecting dinky cars and not playing with them - still has them boxed today.
Taught himself to play the bass guitar and can imitate any piece of music he hears and yet cannot read a not of music. Excellent player with no lessons ever.
Saved every bit of pocket money he got whilst we all spent ours on sweets
When his dad bought him a chocolate bar he took it back to the shop to get the money back in order to save it.
Above average intelligence but not a good attender and left with no exams.
Lots of food issues

As an adult:

Never had a long term relationship with a woman and is not gay - he says he has too many problems he has to deal with before being able to deal with a relationship
poor hygiene - sees it as pointless as any girl should accept him for who he is and it wastes time
used to self harm a lot
long walks on his own
he became a Jehovah Witness about 10 years ago and is incredibly active
He beliefs 100 per cent and has a set answer for everything
only works parttime so he can devote his time to the JWs
never attends family functions
rarely uses the telephone - always texts
only friends are fellow JWs
has masses of JW books and spends his time studying them
has only ever had very menial jobs with no desire to better himself
his GP refered him to a psychiatrist as he was worried about himself when he was working as a fork lift truck driver (best job he's had). HE was paranoid about lining up boxes and worried himself as he was so obsessive.
The Pscyh could only see him during work hours and db wouldnt go then so nothing came of it.
Still has food issues. Examples include he cannot eat food that has touched other food. When he came to my house to eat he brought a tin of meat balls to eat rather than what I'd spent hours preparing and really didnt realise that it might offend me.
He now works as a van driver and loves this job as he has minimum contact with others.

Thanks if you've read this far.

Is this just low self esteem or aspergers?

OP posts:
jenk1 · 03/07/2005 11:17

hercules, i dont think your brother is using it as a great way of life, in this day and age we live in people who are a little bit different stick out like a sore thumb,being a jw you get used to people thinking that u r "not normal" a "religious fanatic" etc. for a person with aspergers syndrome the last thing that you want is to draw attention to yourself,i stay away from people and dont socialise but when it comes to telling people about my beliefs i couldnt be more happy or proud to do so, i think your brother is genuine especially since he has been one for so long if it was just helping him to cope he would have give it up by now, to be a true jw u have to be very commited which yr brother sounds to be

Davros · 03/07/2005 12:06

Hercules, there is a whole community of adults with AS, social groups, activities and the militant crowd (though not all of them) and all this with people who don't have the expectations that the rest of us do. If he would accept it I think it would do him a huge amount of good. I just wish my undx sister with AS would DO something about it, but that's part of her condition, plus no-one is close enough to her to drive it through and we have all rather given up

hercules · 03/07/2005 13:50

Thanks again. JEnk1, I have no idea whether he is a genuine believer and doesnt have aspergers but I'm not prepared to say he is. How can you be so sure when you know less than I do? To me, the little the I know of him and JWs, it would seem the organisation provides him with a set of beliefs and clear guidelines on how to live his life which were lacking prior to that.
He went looking for this.

I dont want to get into a religious debate but of course there are lots of people who follow beliefs for reasons other than a real belief and his fits in with all the rest of the things I have read about it.

It is frustrating as if he has Aspergers then this stopped him seeing the psychiatrist in the first place despite his concerns for himself.

OP posts:
noddyholder · 03/07/2005 14:00

Davros can i just hi jack briefly and thank you for the info you sent it explains a lot xx

TheRealMrsF · 03/07/2005 17:28

hercules...i agree with YOU about the JW .... it would offer him predictable support and strict rules which many AS people crave...and irrelavent how long he has 'believed' as if he is 'just AS' and not a 'true believer'...as long as he 'enjoyed' the rules etc...it would be enough to keep him hooked.

hercules...you are brilliant to care so much...when so little is given back to you....i think the fact that he is aware and somewhat unhappy about his life means that he could take on board some stuff about AS.... maybe look at the Jessica Kingsleypublishing website...they have some fantastic 'adult' AS books.... for me just reading about someone else who 'lived like me' was enough to look further.

hercules · 03/07/2005 17:33

My last post misreads btw. I didnt mean the JWs stopped him seeing the psych, it was his possible aspergers that stopped him.

Thanks MrsF. I have lent my mum "Freaks, GEeks and Aspergers"!

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