Fingers in/underneath ears

[Blossomhill]

I posted this in my weekend thread but just wanted to see if anyone else may know anything about this. dd (5) has always put her fingers underneath her ears since she was a baby. Recently it has becoming more and more and on our holiday this weekend was constant. Now I know it's a sensory thing but how on earth can I help her as she seems to be doing it all of the time. She found it very hard on holiday in the club and had her fingers firmly in then. Just would be nice to hear from anyone else who has had this.

blossomhill, sympathies from me too. my dd has started doing this sometimes and I always take her fingers out of her ears. She's actually got quite a lot of hearing loss so I think she is copying something she's seen at nursery, rather than doing it to block noise, but nevertheless, it makes me cringe.
She's also started slapping herself when she has a tantrum (very very frequent occurence - she's going through the terrible fours!) which I find utterly cringworthy - particularly as she usually has a tantrum for some reason or other when we're on our way home from picking dd1 up from school - in full view of all the other parents of NT children. Aaargh.
Jimjams is so right, do get to know some other parents of SN kids. It really helps me to think that my mates have so much more to deal with with their poo-smearing dss.

I have read this with interest. I'm sure that part of the way I cope with Ds2's problems is by pretending he is catching up. The other day a child about 9months younger visited us. She played all morning with Ds1 and Ds2 didn't know how to join in. I cried after that because it hammered home what both Ds2 and Ds1 are missing out on.

BH I also think a lot of it is to do with your own self-esteem. (Most of the time ) I know that I am doing the best I can as Ds2's mother and I know that his behaviour is not my fault. Therefore I mind less what other people think. I think you consistently underestimate what you do for your dd and undervalue yourself. That makes you feel a lot more susceptible to criticism. One approach might be to try and find ways of increasing your own confidence about what you do.

It also helps me to understand why Ds2 does what he does. I feel a lot less embarassed about him lying on the floor everywhere since I understood why he does it.

In terms of the age 5 cut-off there was that programme on the radio a while back where the presenter's autistic son hadn't said his first word until he was 18 (and the first word was pub). I think that was amazing - and in George and Sam, Charlotte Moore emphasises the potential that autistic people have throughout their lives.

oh there's no language limit for autism. I have however found it helpful to assume ds1 won't ever speak, so now I don't wait for it. Also read stuff by people like Lucy Blackman who can't speak, and can't live without help but has found some sort of contentment and ways to express herself (she didn't develop language until 12). it's unlikely that ds1 will ever gecome as expressive as her, but its given me ideas of things that might help him.

BH what you are desrcribing (watching peers overtake rapidly) si something that we went through when ds1 was about 2/3. I loathed seeing any children that age and when I saw little 2 to 3 year olds out on the moors kicking footballs to their dads I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. All I can say is that now 3 years later I don't feel like that anymore. A room full of children exactly the same age as him is stilll a bit much to stomach for long but I can do it. I don't know when it all began to get ok having been awful, but it did. I think it just takes time.