physically restraining a vioent autistic child?

[jennybensmummy]

has anyone got any tips, ben is 3 but the size of a 5 year old really and veyr very strong and extremely violent and a lot of self harm, does anyone have any tips of how i can safely physically restrain him?

I'm not an expert and this is just 2nd hand off other people on here, but I have heard wrapping a child in a blanket (head free obviously) can help and the pressure is often welcomed by autistic children. My ds1 used to use a weighted blanket to feel safe.

Would your local inclusion team/ whoever is officially involved have ideas?

It's hard. I find standing behind my son and sort of bear hugging him can help.

Self harm- have you had an analysis on why? There are things you can get of course as well- ds1 has just been given a helmet because his headbutting has got quite bad.

I would also really reinforce using verbal tactics when possible. My son is 10 now and very difficult to stop when he kicks off as he is so strong. I have gradually managed to introduce verbal commands that he responds to. Things like 'site down' for example can stop an attack.

safespaces always look good to me and social services will fund them.

site down? sit down!

were trying to get ben a helmet at the moment but they are fighting giving us one, he has a lump on his head that hes had over a year now from headbanging, he is only 3 and a half and has this permanent lump but they wont listen, got ot this afternoon about it so fingers crossed, it seems noone will give us strategies as to what to do to restrain him just tell me that i need to just keep out of his way when hes "on one" and distract etc but they dont really work! blanket doesnt seem to work with him but might think about a weighted blanket though they are expensive arent they so not sure if it would work if blanket doesnt?! any ideas?

the standing behind bear hugging sounds good, will give that a go later! safespaces look fab but not sure wed get the funding as at the moment social services wont even see us!! might ask ot about that later see what they say they might be able to kick social services into action?!

how old is your ds saintlydamemrsturnip?? and if you dont mind me asking how bad/frequent was the headbutting? ben does it around 50 times a day, has this permanent lump and holes in walls everywhere in house, bnut they deem he doesnt need one yet?! still fighting for one though! do you find it helps? who actually said he should have one in the end? am i on right tracks keep asking ot about it or should i try someone else?

Never got beyond the rugby-tackle and the wrestling-him-into-a-safe-hold-until-he-stopped, myself. That was 13 yrs ago, though. Finding the triggers for it were important, but some weren't negotiable, e.g. car seatbelts, sitting in the buggy with the straps on, Not Racing Across The Road In Front of the Articulated Lorry, and Not Bashing The Children at Playgroup Until They Screamed .

Wrapping tightly in a duvet can work as it's less 'lumpy' pressure

ooh thanks amber will try duvet instead see if that helps, bens is mostly due to sensory things like if something makes a noise, usually uncontrollable, and he hates touch so things like seatbelts, buggy etc like you say are a nightmare!! problem is his main thing is headbutting and headbanging so its finding a way that means he cant still use his head to attack but obviously not smothering him in the meantime!! amber, your ds sounds like my ben in the "Not Bashing The Children at Playgroup Until They Screamed" too mostly i found no trigger for a lot of these things the harder i have looked. i hope you dont mind me asking but with an asd yourself any idea what could trigger these things like hitting other kids, other than close proximity to someone? i have thought of smells, but not sure how i would know if its that as he cant tell me, any ideas?? a lot of bens is also down to things not being expected but trivial things to us that i cant possibly warn him with symbols for, any ideas how i would overcome that?? for example, he will hit out if he sees a bird in the garden then it flies off, or if the doorbell rings, he sees a dog anywhere including on tv, etc etc the list is endless, but all things i cant possibly warn him for as i dont know they will happen myself?! any ideas?

I too use a bear hug ( arms across ds arms to stop hitting)from behind with my feet spread out to avoid shin kicks. Sitting behind him in a arms crossed hug with my feet crossed across his legs(if kicking) works too. Still do this one ( it easily transforms to a reassuring hug) but watch for chin buts - keep your head turned to one side. Ds (9) is getting a bit big and responding to words. I used to hold him across my body (his face out) when he was smaller and his teeth were a hazard! I have never been shown restraint either!

I'll try to explain it from my point of view bearing in mind I'm only one person so this is only one perspective.

When I was young and had no idea I was a person, (before age 10) other people were just things, not people. Yes they moved, they did things, they said things, but why? It was a mystery. I knew that if I did or said the wrong thing, something unpleasant would happen very fast, so I learned all sorts of avoiding-things gradually. Hard when I could only focus on one small thing at a time, though.

I remember getting a caning for picking up a pair of scissors in the classroom and cutting some of the hair off the child next to me. Well, I was totally utterly focused on what the hair felt like and looked like, and I knew that people cut hair. I didn't know that it was wrong to pick up scissors and cut some off. I'd forgotten I was in a class because my focus was totally on the hair and the scissors. I was about 9 at the time. That sort of thing happened a lot.

I know that when I'm in any noisy environment full of people, the stress level on me is more than I can take. It sounds like being at the front row of a rock concert. If someone jostles me slightly, it's like being punched. I know that if there's also strong smells, that doesn't help. Neither does me having to do manual things - I get them wrong. I react by withdrawing into myself, but boys may (not always) react by trying to get the stress away from them. If they hit it, it runs away, so removes its noise and chaos and pain from them a bit.

Or they may hit because the child says or does something interesting as a result. "I hit the child, their face gets wet and they make a squeaky noise. If I do it again, maybe it'll happen again - let's test it."

Either theory explains some of it, according to various things I've read and some of my own experiences and talking with my ds now he's older.

No easy answers to stopping any and all triggers though. Unless it's sort of the same principle as when your bath overflows - maybe something in the environment or his clothing or something he's eating or drinking is already getting him so stressed out that the surprise bird is just tipping it over the edge? Worth an autism expert having an assessment of him, I'd say?

jenny- ds1 is 10 now. At the moment he headbangs every day and we also have lots of lumps in the wall. He mainly does it out of frustration and at the moment doesn't generally do it all that hard (by his standards).

He did go through a phase when he was about 5 of headbanging very violently. He was permanently bruised and was doing it upwards of 50 times a day. He would hit concrete- any little thing would make him hurt his head.

I realised that the headbanging had started with the introduction of peanuts to his diet. He was eating no meat, fish, eggs, or cheese at the time so when I found he would eat ground organic peanuts I was overjoyed (protein). So he started with it once a day. He loved it and soon he was having it 3 times a day - then the headbanging started. After about a month I realised it must be dietary. I had never heard of anyone being affected by peanuts, but his diet was very limited and it was the one new food. I removed it from his diet and within 2 days the headbanging to bruise ceased.

He headbangs to bruise when he has too much gluten as well.

Although he is also fond of breaking windows and since breaking one yesterday was headbutting mirrors last night.....

Stand on his left side (if you're right handed) put your right arm behind him a hold onto his right wrist, bring his arm to his side, keep holding on. Use your other hand to hold his left wrist, going across your body. Pull him in tight to your side, make sure your feet are planted steady on the ground. You can also walk with him like this without hurting either you or him and it make break the tantrum. Sorry if I haven't explained this very well!

this is the training we use in work. I work in a special school.

It's interesting how there can be the sensory differences. If someone does that to me, I collapse from the pain.

Yes Ds seems oversensative to very light touch like clothing, but seeks and calms to deep pressure like a bear hug, or a sitting under a heavy cushion, wrapping in a blanket.

Ds would find having his wrists held painfull too! I wear a padded coat when out and about in winter - sort of a walking bear hug in waiting for when Ds needs the enclosure!

If a child has a skin sensory sensitivity, any isolated touch can feel like being punched/burned/stabbed, so I do wonder if the 'safe hold' techniques that are taught sometimes cause or make worse the problems they're trying to solve for some (not all) of the children?

It's difficult to describe the difference between being restrained by a wrist-grab or shoulder-grab (intense overwhelming pain) and the sense of peace from being 'restrained' by an overall pressure like the one from a duvet being wrapped round me. (At my age, there isn't time to run amok ) Similar things are seen with horses, where a fly landing on them can cause them to bolt across the field, but a thick pressure rug on them often causes them to relax totally.

But ultimately the child and their companions have to be safe, so a hold that stops danger is of course important.

thanks so much everyone going to give thse things a try and see how we go.

saintlydamemrsturnip - thinking about bens diet it does seem to possibly affect his behaviour and mmost of what he eatsnis gluton type foods how soon would i know if cutting these down or out completely is th cause? how soon would he show an effect from it?? recently he has had a thing for tortilla wraps which im guessing though dont have packet anymore are highish in gluten?and his headbanging has ben much worse, and thinking of a lot of what he eats is bread etc, maybe im just clutchig at straws but would definately like to look into this idea!

tortilla may be corn based?? Not sure, but I suspect has flour anyway.

In our experience cutting gluten out showed a big effect within days.

You can also get a urine test at the ARU to see whether dietary change is likely to work.

In ds3's case switching from cows milk to goats milk stopped the headbanging (he is NT, but was developing a bit dodgily until we switched milks )

Hi,

sorry to be controvertial but please please please dont do what colecolepew is suggesting above, Team teach specifies that ONLY trained people should be using the techniques and no one who is trained should be recommending/explaining anything to other non trained people, the child can be harmed by doing that.

I speak as my schools team teach trainer and as much as I know colecolepew is trying to help its really not recommended.

I know that TT will come out and train a family so all family members are trained to suppport the child, would your social services consider funding this, alternatively people like the family fund or cauldwell might fund it??

hope that helps

The unwillingness of professionals to allow parents to be taught control and restraint techniques is a real sticking point. Many parents have begged for training but our SS won't pay and also won't allow parents to be trained in case they do it wrong as they are unsupervised. The trouble is that parents will use C&R anyway if the situation requires it, it's just that they could very likely do it incredibly badly, even dangerously, with no training.

I can not restrain my 6 year old, it definately makes things harder for him. But it is difficult when he is hurting himself and those around him, sometimes you have to weigh things up and decide on the best action. I have eliminated all triggers, but his mood can change in a split second, he is unpredictable and it is hard to judge in that split second what will happen.
It does frighten me, and he has been excluded from school twice. Lea and primary school are busy at the moment trying to send him to besd school for next september, so I have asked teachers and lsas to be trained in restraint methods, seems the lesser evil. His school is particularly unhelpful though nad do not make enough adjustments for him and my poor ds does not trust his teachers, because as he says they 'don't listen' to him.
Anyway, sorry for rabbiting on, sometimes there is no choice but to use restraint methods, sadly.

We were advised to do the duvet thing and try to,though have had to do bear hugs in some strange positions over the years, oddest being on the roof with ds1 trying to jump off.

Anything has to be better than the likely outcome of that (not suicidal, thinks he's invincible)

DH usually is with us these days so it's on his lap in a tight hug, I usually did that myself until he got too big but it's always a variant of that.

jennybens- tortiallas may or may not have glutemn de[ending on what they're made from hich sounds silly I know but corn ones do not

I make my own GF ones in minutes; all you need is masa flour, water and a rolling pin. Mix first two, roll out then cook in a pan. Easy

thanks so much everyone, the bear hugs so far i have tried just seem to make him worse im definately thinking seriously about gf diet for him after digging through looking in the bin for the tortilla pack, they do have gluten in, so may go to explain things a little from lately, though today i tried everything but gluten foods and he wouldnt touch a thing, then i even tried things he normally loves with the gluten in and h wouldnt eat so he has ended up going to bd having barely eaten today as i cant force feed him! i dont know where to start in gf foods etc ben is so fussy anyway, can anyone help a useless shattered mum sort out what to buy and what to feed him?!?! in fact ill start a new post incase people who have read this have experience of gf diets!!