some of you know I have 3.7yr old twin girls. They start full time School in September and Grace (NT) will be going to the local infant School and Ellie (SN) will continue to go to her SN School. She will go with Grace to St Andrews (local school) for one session a week with a carer and this will very very slowly increase as she gets older (we think!)
Anyway (if you haven't already fallen asleep!!) In the summer St Andrews will have a few induction sessions that you go to along with your children so they see the School and do some activities.
My dilema.......do I take Ellie?
To be honest she will hardly go to St Andrews especially in the first few years. So there is no real need for her to go. But I feel bad not taking her, bit like I am hiding her away. Plus she has actually been allocated a full time place so she will be expected to go.
But, I know what will happen if I take her....
Picture it..... All the Mums standing there with their perfectly healthy NT children who all shyly stand STILL!! We walk in, Oh of course,as usual, we are heard before we are seen!!!
Ellie will leg it round and look like a really naughty child and I will have all the other Mums staring before they have even met us.
I thought of pushing her right into the room in her SN buggy so at least most may realise she has SN, but I don't know if I could cope with the stares. I will end up looking like an harrassed Mum who can't cope (I am and I can't!!!)
I have visions of the Mums all shocked and worrying that this child is going to disrupt their child for years to come in School!!!!
Thing is, to look at you wouldn't know there was anything wrong.
I know this all sounds really stupid but I knew some of you would understand were I am coming from.
There is no chance of her joining in anything, she will just run round and shout loudly.
I really hate all this, nothing is simple and easy. I am worrying about it and getting upset about it. I just want to be like everyone else, and look forward to it. The other Mums will all be taking their kids along, no worries and yet again just the simplest thing reduces me to tears.
The worst thing also is I shall be the only one standing there (did I say standing? I meant running!!!) with a SN child. When on Mumsnet you know you are amongst others feeling the same, but stand with a group at a mainstream school and you are the only one.
Shouldnt I be able to cope with this by now? She was ill 3 years ago this week.
Sorry to have gone on and on, it most probably sounds like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.
Sorry about spelling, my spell check doesnt work at the mo!!!!