out of step with the rest of the world

[Jimjams]

I'm guessing from other threads that this is a common feeling at the moment so thought some story swapping might help us all. Also there's another (pefectly innocent and nice, pleasant) thread going on at the moment where everyone is saying don't worry it gets easier when they get older. anyway that phrase always makes me want to stick my head in a bucket of cold vomit so thought i'd seek out others rather than turning into the mad muttering woman in the corner. Feeling the need to hide in the SN world for a while (i've been venturing out to much its turning me mad!)

Went to the beach yesterday afternoon. was a bit peed off at there being no free disabled parking when i knew we'd be there for minutes, but anyway. ds2 was asleep so we left him asleep (he's never actually been onto a beach with a bucket and spade and isn't bothered about missing a walk), and I sat and fed ds3 in the car. dh took ds1 to the beach- well almost- ds1 refused to go over the top of a sand dune and just ran up and down it for about 20 minutes, then we went home. Whilst dh was off with ds2 I watched a family of 3 girls- about the same ages as my ds' get out of their car, gather together buckets and spades and set off. they did thing we can't do (like pile out of the car and stand around waiting whilst the buggy was put up etc). I sat feeding and watching and pondered that they were having the family experience that we expected. not sad really, bit envious, but more feeling like we're out of step.

ah well off to count some blessings (a friend is waiting for test results for her dd and is "hoping" it's Retts- so you can imagine what the alternatives are)- we have many!

A couple of weeks ago I took ds1 out for a walk. forgot his harness- thought never mind the walk is under trees it'll last 2 mins. BIG mistake - he didn't mind trees that day- legged it down the poath straight to a 10 foot drop where he proceeded to try and throw himself in a huge swirling river. I had hold of his wrist with both hands and he was still almost pulling me over. I can imagine your day rnb.

ps the harness is great- like a belt so not too obvious and much easier to control him.

its the communication that i am after as i never know what he wants!!!
Everyone else feels that it would be an excellent implement other than signing of which after 6 months he has never signed a thing to me not even when he desperately wants something so it leaves me running ragged trying to search for what he wants.
I have adjusted to his needs as a routine, but even now it is hard as no childs routine and habits stay the same!!!!
So OK i only know little of what he wants but why when there is a chance of communication does the ST feel against it.
Signing is'nt working, he rarely points to things he want's, it's a total guessing game and yet it is so blaintently obvious after todays portage that he was able to relate to a card with an animal on it and do the things prompted>???
So why shouldnt he do that with day to day cards like drink, biscuit tired etc.........??

bet you anythinhg the SALT isn't trained in it. We had a succession of SALTs who recommended Makaton which just didn't work for ds1 (I don't think he even noticed the signs). PECS got him communicating really quickly.

Also at the portage session he kept on getting the pig card and wafting it in our faces until we did the sounds and actions!!!!!!!! Oh and what a chuckle he gave at our stupidity as a pig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He also took 5 steps for the first time. He has only managed 2 for the past 6 months so i was over the moon.
He wil never walk long distances due to balence but he sure has the determination to go for another 5!!

RnB - the pier, you are brave! The only thing my ds will go on is the trampolines. First we have the nightmare of queuing up the steps which leaves me exhausted (he can't understand why he has to wait)then we get a few tellings-off from the attendant because ds won't wear socks, won't stay on his own trampoline etc. Then I have to get him off at the end.......Less said the better!

Then we have refusing to walk because the pier is crowded and freaking out at the loud music. As for the teacups ride, dh took him on it once even though I told him he would be scared. He went completely berserk and violently 'soiled' himself (ds not dh)and we had to take him home with his trousers in a nappy sack and a blanket wrapped around him. Needless to say, dh hasn't taken him on any rides since!

RnB - your post reminded me of my dd. I can't take her and her brother to the huge lake in town, now she is walking, because she just heads straight for the lake and starts lowering herself in backwards. Dh and i contempleated taking the dt's to our local pier yesterday as the weather was so fab, he suggested it, we looked at each other and said" no, she'd lower herself off it". We went to a local farm instead where she was the main attraction screaming as she was dragged away from the pig trough full of water.... Sometimes i see other families and yearn for their normality,

pixel, the violent soiling, not DH made me laugh! You've got to! Why is water such a problem? Last time we tried a beach was a total nightmare, like lots of others he just heads for the water and keeps going or has a fit if you try to stop him. He's OK now about things like being on a boat or going over a bridge which surprises me. What I really hate is that every sodding room we have to go to for appts, assessments etc has a sink in it, even the play room at the local hospital!
butty, I think you should assert yourself over doing PECs, there's nothing to stop you keeping on signing as well as using PECs but not expecting him to sign, it will just reinforce the PEC. PECs is so accepted and TEACCH has a huge visual strategy foundation and its very accepted by professionals. I bet Jimjams is right, she can't do it and has trained in Makaton. It really annoys me when people are prejudiced against one system or the other, they are not taking the child's needs into account, just their own preference
RnB, what a lovely time you had then! Yesterday was probably my best day surprisingly and I even took DS out to the top of the road to post some letters and visit Budgens! It could have been a disaster but I'm not one to avoid a challenge..... well, maybe I am quite often!!!

bloody sinks! They never got any assessments done because of sinks!

Well today is hideous. DS2 woke at 3am throwing up. DS1 is now screaming at the washing machine (washing peuky sheets so I put it on a 60 degree wash and I think ds1 has decided it's not "right"). I am trying to persuade ds2 not to kiss his baby brother, and trying to ignore ds1 screaming (although poor sould has tears streaming down his face). popnly 53 mins left of the the cycle.