Not sure if that is the right word to use. What I mean is how much should I make allowances for autism affecting ds's behaviour and to what extent should I try and teach him 'normal' behaviour?
After a home visit from the Earlybird team it was suggested that we try some form of discipline on ds for his constant hitting of his sister. We felt that he has to learn that he can't just get away with hitting whenever he feels like it. I am in two minds about this. Firstly I don't know how easily (or if at all) he can control himself. I think he tends to hit and realise straight away that it was wrong. Other times he is CERTAIN that she should be hit because she has done something WRONG and I can't seem to convince him otherwise. I know that he finds her annoying as toddlers are annoying to him. I tried the time out (putting him out of the room) but he kicks the door and screams and I don't know if it is working or maybe I've not done it long enough. She also suggested a reward chart which I've to get round to making up.
The other main question was about expecting other people to make allowances. Was at a soft play area today, one that we often go to but this time ds decided he wanted to stack up some of the soft shapes into an entrance. It was kind of blocking access for other kids but there were other ways to get in. Some boys were helping him and ds was basically ordering them about. Then they decided to take them all out again and ds was furious. As he got more annoyed one of the boys was deliberately doing the opposite thus winding ds up even more. I tried to pull ds away but he was kicking and screaming and I could hardly reach him and it wasn't easy with a 5 month bump. ds kept hitting this boy who was about 7 and he was starting to hit him back. In retrospect I maybe should have asked to speak to his parents and asked them to ignore ds. Do you think this would be best as I don't want ds to stop interacting with others as he seems really keen on talking to people and wanting to 'play'. However if his 'interaction' basically consists of issuing orders to others then its maybe better that they don't 'obey' him thus reinforcing his behaviour.
Sorry for the long post. I am finding ds hard work just now. He seems to be interacting with the world more now which is good ... talking more etc but it's as if his expectations have taken a huge leap and he wants things to be HIS way even more.
Someone tell me this is just a phase please...