Can a child display lots of symptons of various disorders but be totally fine.

[pepsi]

Sorry me again looking for some positive answers. My Ds nearly 5 seems pretty much ok to me at home (its hard to tell when he is my eldest so Ive nothing to compare with), but at school he displays loads of symptons such as poor eye contact, poor concentration, doesnt listen, but is coping academically so far, is a bit of a loner. He had hearing problems with glue ear until he was three and was half deaf. At home he talks all the time but at school he cant connect with other children but he plays at home with his sister fine. Everything seems rather conflicting. School has recommeneded ep. Could he be ok but just different at school.

Oops Coppertop that's my fault

Sorry Pepsi

We have 2 Thomas fanatics. I'll take Ringo's droning voice over the American cheesey version any day.

me too. Your ds's sound adorable

They're available for hire if anyone's interested. Reasonably priced and each comes with their own small range of Thomas accessories and spinning toys.

Hi all!

Tiggi..... all 3 adapted well- ds1 and 2 wanted to change- so the day i made the descision i bought them all their new school sweaters...and they were thrilled when they got home.

we were all nervous on the first day

ds3 was still only 4 at the time- and TBH i didn't like the teacher he got at this new school.... he had a lovely one at the last school- and really i would have loved him to stay at that school as long as he had that teacher etc....but i was unable to manage getting him to that school and the other 2 to the new school.

it took ds3 maybe a month to fully settle.... ds2 at that time was 7 and luckily was placed in a class with a teacher familiar with SN... so she was good for him.... however he now has a teachet that he feels less at ease with- so i do feel a bit unsure if anywhere will ever be 'right' for ds2.... but for me it is better as i feel more at ease with the other parents.... there are alot of behavioural SN kids there (hope that doesn't offend!)...so i don't get the 'looks' that i got at the other school when i get sworn at or pulled around by my sons

BH- no .... haven't read that message...well ok i spose

been in tears today as it was just too much...shouldn't have watched it last night- but i watched that "driving mum and dad mad"...and felt it all too similar to my life...and apparantley this psychologist reckons he can 'transform their lives in 5 weeks"...one of the families has a child with ADHD...so may be interesting watching if things improve for that family....but the whole programme just made me feel more desparate that people seeing my kids behave as they do - as having a crap parent- needing coaching from a psychologist- rther than being autistic!

couldn't help feeling as i watched it that they could have easily said every child featured had ADHD or similar....and it would have seemed true...maybe those poor buggers have ADHD...and they can't help being as they are...and then this psychologist is going to 'train' them to be 'perfect angels'....brain wash ....oh ! i'm rambling.

just feel fed up-

pepsi - think our situation may be quite close to yours, except for the hearing issue - my ds (who's nearly 6 now) has been tested (because he does have very "selective" hearing) and doesn't seem to have problems there.

My ds is just lovely at home - thoughtful and mostly sensible, if very dreamy (& the selective hearing thing), amenable, cheery; and the most caring, involved, big brother to dd (who's 4 and a half) that could be imagined. He's nice in restaurants, with adults, on shopping trips, in the car, on one-on-one or small group playdates ... and so on.

But his school have real ongoing problems with his behaviour - ranging from concerns about his oddities of speech, frustration at his lack of concentration, to real worries about (rare, thank goodness) physical outbursts - punched a little girl in the stomach "because she wasn't my friend". The school did ask us to have him see an ed psych, so we did: and although it didn't give us (or the school) any real answers I really would recommend the experience - it gave us another, very informed, view which was - very importantly - hugely enthusiastic about ds's good points, and supportive of how we are trying to help him.

So whether or not our boys have SN or are ones with a very immature sense of group dynamics (and which will mature in its own time), I would say there is everything to be gained by having someone knowledgeable and sympathetic (ie a good ep) give you another perspective.

Sorry about length. I hope this helps. Happy to talk further about how to pick an ep, if you decide to go with that & have a choice.

Binkie...thank you very very much, your message has made me feel better. Your DS sounds like a gorgeous little boy. Mine is too which is why Im finding it so hard to come to the realisation that something is wrong with him. All children have their quirks and its becoming increasingly difficult to see whats is just him and what might be a problem. Thanks again and keep in touch.

Oh I do know what you mean, pepsi, makes my head spin too - but weighing up the quirks is exactly where our ed psych helped. Helped me to hold on to what's "right" with ds as well, without dismissing the fact that (at least at the moment) he genuinely does need some kinds of help that other children seem not to. And having a go at sorting out what those needs are, and what sort of help might suit him best, can only be good for everyone. I really really wouldn't worry about a child being "put in a SN box and left there".

Binkie....deep down in your heart do you think that you ds does have a particular special need. One day I think my ds does and then next I change my mind. Its clear he does behave differently to other children at school for some reason. Everyone is giving very positive vibes about the EP so hopefully we wont have to wait long to see one. DS's previous school thought my ds might be dyspraxic (I forced it out of them). Last week I was worried that it was Aspergers. Trouble is I look on website and read stuff on Mumsnet and before you know it Ive diagnosed another condition and am worrying about it. My ds is just so lovely and he's really handsmome too. Finally Ive found someone who is my ds is like so thats very comforting to have someone else to talk to.

The thing is pepsi the whole adhd, asd, dyspraxia, language difficulties are all under one big spectrum. Lots of conditions overlap but you will never get 2 children the same.
As long as your ds gets help then that's all that matters. Although know how scary it is as dd still doesn't have a dx as such and I get so panicky thinking of what it might could be.

Guess what - just like you, it's now-you-see-it, now-you-don't. Sometimes I go all cold (there's a website where you can listen to the speech patterns of children with Aspergers, eg); at other times I read what life is like for parents of autistic/AS children and think I am being an idiot (ds is fantastically super-easy to live with). One day I think of course he'll grow out of it - obviously a boy like him (he's very academic) is going to be a bit off-beat when little; next day I'm convinced he's just going to get odder and odder as he gets older.

So what I do is focus on what he needs from me now, and (some good advice I mentioned elsewhere) make a huge point of fun and jokes.

Binkie - you could have been me with that post.

Sometimes I think how much would I love a crystal ball to see how dd will be in 5 years time. Other times I think I'd rather not know

Pepsi - my ds1 is quite a bit older - he's 7.5 and I have days and weeks where I think ds1 will never have/need a dx, and others where I think he's definitely AS. It is a rollercoaster.

For me I have finally come to terms with the idea that he is not 'normal' in that he is not 'average'. He will never, ever be 'average', he's not 'average' in anything. (He's either superb at something or pretty hopeless, there doesn't seem to be an inbetween ground.) He has a reading age of almost double his chronological age, but has only just started to grasp the concept of responding to someone who says "Hi ds1" to him in the street!

We have found it liberating to use some strategies which help children with AS to help ds1 in the areas where he struggles; but without at this stage making a decision about pursuing a dx of AS.

Crossed posts with you two, but I agree completely.

Worrying about next year or five years' time does not actually address the issues of today.

Roisin - your ds sounds so much like dd. It's scary! We too don't have any firm dx but I know dd is not like your normal child. I have accepted that and am looking forward to our trip to Bibic next month so we can help dd more. That has always been my frustration that I couldn't do anything. I have also come to stage that I can take whatever it is. It's not going to change dd one little bit, just help me understand her more

BH, does your dd really not have a diagnosis at all?

She has a very vague diagnosis of language disorder although I know she is on the spectrum somewhere. Dd just doesn't fit all of the boxes to receive any real diagnosis!

The last SALT said she def. wasn't asd, no way. then the school say she is. She def. has auti traits though and as she is getting older I feel the social gap is widening with her peers.