what next!!

[bambi06]

my son(5 yrs)has had a restricted diet since he was young and as hes got older hes self restricted it and has very sensitive issues regarding food..wont sit at the table with us if the food were eating is too smelly etc and only eats weetabix , toast with marmite(cut into fours only and no ragged bits!) plain certain bread rolls, certain yogs ,apple and banana plus up till recently we got chips into him which was our life line at eating out but he has told us he doesnt eat chips anymore and that usually means ..is that!! and he WILL NOT eat them for love nor money..and hes been talking about his toast being funny and he s going off his bananas,, god knows how hes going to manage as hes getting very hungry and all he wants to eat when he comes home from school is weetabix and toast..and more toast ..and more toast!! imagine the looks we get from people when and if we ever invite people back for tea which upsets my son as they notice of course and ask questions.. holidays are a nightmare as we have to take supplies of weetabix and marmite and always make sure we can access a microwave to warm the milk up for his weetabix.. its hell.. how does everyone deal with restricted diets( hes asd by the way .) please any advice on ways around it would be brill..GOSH couldnt help after we went on their feeding program for 3 months!!i just get so stressed at every mealtime , he doesnt keep still. takes ages to get to the table, and then wants to go down the minute hes eaten anything..restaurants are a nightmare but my daughter loves chinese which is no go for my son as he doesnt like the smell and they dont have the food he wants so we have to take packed lunch which restaurants frown upon and then theres the behaviour when we are out ..loud , hiding under tables ,anything so he can get out of there!! but how can we get him to eat or even try without major meltdowns..or should we just give him what he likes and leave it at that?

Devon now :-) Ds1 and ds2 were born in Farnborough- moved down here when ds2 was 4 months old.

You made a great move-Devon is gorgeous! Anywhere near the South Hams area?We have been on holiday there a couple of times (once camping in the River Dart Country Park and once in a cottage)

Not far from there!

You lucky thing!

grew up here tiggiwinkle so easy to move back.

I liked Bromley butt prefer having easy access to the sea (can see it from the kitchen window) and Dartmoor.

Miss The Glades and Bluewater though

what a great thread. didn't realise my ds's eating problems were also connected to his ASD. he is 17 now and has a fairly normal diet but has always had issues about the texture or feel of certain foods. I can't remember exactly what now because I'm so used to him preparing is own meals He eats a of fruit (provided there are NO blemishes), little veg, bread, some meat but not if he can see bones, skin or ANY fat. He never seems to eat as much as I would expect a 6ft teenager to eat, and ALWAYS leaves at least a mouthful of food on his plate. He has recently been trying out different teas.

tiggywinkle .thanks for trying to CAT me ,however , i dont undersdtand why it says i cant accept messages, is there anything i can do tho alter it? maybe in members tools?

YES IVE READ CANT EAT WONT EAT AGES AGO WHEN I FOUND IT BY CHANCE IN THE LOCAL LIBRARY ..I WAS VERY RELUCTANT TO GIVE IT BACK AND ALTHOUGH IT DID GIVE ME HOPE IN THAT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE BUT DIDNT GIVE MUCH PRACTICAL HELP THOUGH BUT I GUESS I`M JUST CLUTCHING AT STRAWS IN THE HOPE OF THERE BEING A WAY OUT OF IT OR EVEN A GLIMMER OF EASIER MEALTIMES..I DO WONDER WHETHER TO TRY PUSHING AGAIN TO TRY AND MAKE HOM DE SENSITISE AND TRY AGAIN BUT THE STRESS ALL ROUND ON EVERYONE IS TERRIBLE AND NO ONE IS HAPPY LEAST OF ALL HIM PLUS THEN WE GET REGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR PLUS BEDWETTING AND THE IBS FLARES UP SO WHY BOTHER HEH?

bambi06-If you go into "contact another talker" there is an option to "change you mail preferences" in the text. If you go into that, you can amend it to receive messages.

hi tiggywinkle. i dont know whether you received my message via CAT as i`m not sure it worked

a few of years back i took the boys to burger king...and L always enjoyed the chicken nuggets meals.

however they had changed them to 'chicken balls'....and he absolutely went hysterical. no ammount of persuading him that they were the same but a different shape etc.....

infact they'd also removed the play area he'd loved too....so he had to cope with too much change in one go

this visit convinsed me he had AS ....and that was when i started my pilgramage to persuade someone to listen!

Also.... when we have visitors they often comment on what small portions L eats....

sometimes i can put extra of what he likes....knowing that he will leave some- but therefore ensuring he has had a decent ammount

a couple of years ago he would have to have 22 chips- so i'd make them big ones!

he finger feeds whenevr he can....so if it's chicken nuggets (battered - not breadcrumbs) and baked beans- he will pick up the nuggets out of the beans with his fingers- and then spoon up the beans

sometimes i 'push the boundary' to make him use his fork etc....but it just reminds me how hard it is for him- and i 'give in'

he's 8 and still goes to hold a pencil at the top- and therefor cuttlery is hard too.

T now 11 was a terrible eater too....even at 2 he'd heave if he had say a yogurt with soggy lumps in it...i always see him as somwone who cannot mix textures- so food separate on the plate goes better than combined.
However he has been amazing for 3 or 4 years....many things he will eat....still got loads of 'issues' with certain foods- but feel able to go anywhere and will find something he likes. He is still clumsy with cutlery....but manages.

so sometimes this does get better.

L however eats a far narrower range- and has to have food presented a certain way....which like someone said you get used to over the years- and i don't think anything of preparing 3 versions of the same meal! but at school when we tried dinners they ended up putting his baked beans in a separate dish so that they don't touch....wish they had those sectioned plates- they are great for ASD kids who hate foot touching

So at 8 L remains a challenge- whereas at the same age T was eating pretty good.

If we are out for the day- L cannot share in any excitement of going somewhere special for lunch- so people make the mistake of trying to reward him with food.....doesn't work!!!

A tip i can offer for eating out is that rather than explain ASD to cafes/pubs etc....is to say that the child has complex food allergies and therefore either bring their favourite 'packed lunch' with you to give them whist the rest of you 'BUY' meals...or select from their menu something he will eat- but be strict about what is/is not included....annoying that we have to lie...but amazing how sympathetic people are when you say it is an allergy.

But think about it....a phobia and allergey are probably so similar- one affects the body- one the mind????

Mrs F, wow, you must have to work your kitchen like a military operation! My dd isn't in to different textures- pasta with vegetables is a no no. She won't eat chicken (spits it out).Our main problem is that she goes through phases of spitting everything out and putting her hands down her throat. And out and about she gets very stressed if she has to wait so I have to 'warn' cafes to bring the food out (always beans and chips as the only thing she can really have out and then I have to check ingredients) lukewarm. A couple of cafes are really good about it. Bambio06, I've stopped feeling guilty about dd not getting the 'best' diet. I just go with the flow now and out and about I just wield my pecs key chain or start singing loudly

By different textures I mean a 'dish' with more than one texture. Scrambled eggs is a winner and I seem to be able to get away with hiding things in it. Baked potato is another winner.

nO jak!!!! FAR FROM IT!

i WAS thinking of this thread when i was serving sunday 'lunch' today at 3pm! (see what i mean!!!)

In some ways this thread has helped me apprecciate just how far L has come.

Today i put the following onto his plate:

6 slices of carrot (searched through the pan to find the smallest pieces)

a thin piece of roast pork (the size of 2 squares of chocolate- having used sciccors to cut it into shred-like strips)

2 small pieces of roast potatoe chopped into small chunks

Then tossed the whole not together- careful so they don't 'mash'-

some gravy to moisten- but not enough to leave a pool in the dish

a 'muffin tin sized' yourkshire pudding

Now going back a few months the only way to get him to eat this was to put the whole dinner into the yourkshire pudding- we left it like that for months then gradually i deliberately overfilled it so he ended up needing to eat some of the dinner b4 biting the yorkshire.....then i 'accidently' tipped it over (pretending to trip) so that he needed to push it all back in.....and after various 'slight' changes i am satisfied where we are at now.....

Today he broke his yourkshire into maybe 20 small pieces and lied them round his plate- then he proceeded to actually use his spoon to load 1 bit of carrot/i bit of potato and a shred of meat onto the spoon (he cannot stand touching the carrots etc with his fingers....so has to use the spoon)....he then popped a small piece of yorkshire in as he started to chew.

he only struggled when he ran out of yorkshire pudding- but today (cos of this thread) i said how well he'd done- and gave him a little of my yorkshire i saved for the purpose- and asked him to just eat 3 more spoonfuls.

as long as he gets permission to leave some on the plate he seems more relaxed generally.

we've also been discussing eating the 'yucky stuff' first.... and leaving the 'best till last'....he therefore on one mouthfull put 2 of the smaller carrots on his spoon at once! But then made a bit of a fuss when was left with 1 bit of carrot which was a bit thicker on one edge than the other!!!!!

Far from a millitary ooperation.....when i serve his meals i feel like i am a surgeon carrying out an operation!!! (disecting bits and pieces before i present it to him!)

oops!

main reason i came on here was to simply say that a useful tip i was given by an occupational therapist....is that when you are introducing a new food...or simply 'putting your foot down and insisting on them eating something'.....that you use a very gradual process to reach the point that they may try it.....and that you try it daily for weeks and weeks...the idea being is that if you try something....and give up- then the next time you have to start right at the start.......this is how we got to the tolerance (cannot say he likes them )of peas .....at the very start agreed he'd have 1 on a spoon near his plate- did that for a week or so- he even touched it a few times....then agreed to have it on plate....few weeks......within this he'd roll it on the plate etc...took months to get him to pick it up and smell/touvch to lips and eventualy sink his teeth in....and he's never 'just ate a pea alone'....but after that stage i was able to hide a pea in a spoonful of dinner and when he noticed he started off spitting the mouthful into tissue....but now he will chew and swallow .....but still won't feed himself the spoonful....and he gets anxious if he sees the pea as i feed him.....however as long as there are only a few (maybe 6 peas) we seem to be getting good progress

L is 8 and HFA (AS) so has a good understanding generally....my point to him of all this is VITAMINS (though i know that it's minimal what he gets!!!!)....and also that if we went out somewhere and had a meal...then i've explained that it is polite to at worst leave the 'offending food' on the plate untouched (better to eat some!!!()....but going back a year ago we had to always ask for a spare plate so i could transfer what he wanted onto a 'clean' plate-

Mrs F-We used to do that with the Yorkshire pudding, but the crisis we had with food last month has set us back and now DS will only eat the yorkshire again-without the rest of the dinner inside!
I will have to try this very gradual introduction to vegetables. At the moment DS just freaks out if I put any vegetable (or any "new" food) on to his plate and we have to transfer the things he will eat to a clean plate before he will even consider eating it!
We have had a breakthrough today though-he has started eating breakfast cereal again (it used to be a favourite but he stopped eating it along with everthing else-ate 3 bowls full today!

Blimey, Mrs F, a surgeon, indeed! Mind you, my ds (NT, as far as we can tell, but heh, I touch wood ALOT)... has started to studiously take his vegetables out of every meal.
And my dd is going to start looking like an egg if she has anymore of them.
Tiggiwinkle, that's great news about the cereal! (can they not fortify one with vegetables?!!!!)

tiggy- don't worry if thats all that is eaten for the next week or so....hopefully it will associated 'good feelings' with eating again.

is he having it with milk- cos then it's even better - my ds1 and 3 only eat ceral dry....so i have resorted to giving them a cup of ceral in front the telly in the mornings...as at least they are eating something.

ds2 went for years ONLY eating Frosted Shreaddie- cold milk- he's not fond of warm milk as it all goes soggy. now he also likes frosties and muddles. out of any possible new food- cereal is probably the easiest thing i can give him to try.

he only likes plain crisps...occaisionally i put quavers in his lunch box- he will eat a few- but never the whole packet.

also meant to say the other day i was chopping up l's food and i used my fork to feed him by mistake- and there was a smearing of ketchup on there- he went beserk!
T smothers everything he can in ketchup- infact was a tactic we encouraged years ago to get him to eat....now i wonder if it's healthy....he must eat a small bottle every week!!!!

on the subject of carrots,,....well we were earlier!!!!!
i have to cook them separate....as T says they taste of the other veg if not....and today i actually steamed them...for 30 minutes....so they were ERY well cooked....and even so they did still taste much more like a carrot (!!!!)...maybe that's why they all 'enjoyed' it today!