dont worry, they wont be little for long

[FineFigureFio]

is it just me?

I am not usually violent but the next person who says this to me....I will punch them

Yes, you've got your hands full - grrr! Wish I had the presence of mind to point out that if I didn't I would be merrily strangling the interested observer!
But (whispers..) I actually found myself saying it to someone the other day! It was one of those moments like when you're spitting on a hankie to clean a child's face and you realise you have just turned into your mother.
Where's the cyanide??

lol jmb!

Glad its not just me! Trouble is the "they wont be little for long" comment came of two different family members on the same day, gggrrr. i bet they all talk about me behind my back saying what a miserable cow I am........

I get the, but she looks so happy/pretty/normal comments

The best one was off my GP " if you didnt carry and cuddle her so much she would be walking by now"

my favourite is ( with regards to people with ds) they are always such happy souls.... AH NO!! try putting her to bed when she doesn't want to go... cue screaming crying - just ask dh - she has thrown the whopper of all whopper tantrums tonight whilst I was out. Or when she is tired or not getting her own way or just frustrated - cue grabbing etc.

Only special parents have special children - well today I don't want to be special - I want to be usual, normal and not have the worries I have - i don't want to cope with therapy and med appts and so on.

Yes have had the - she'll do it when she is - whatever age they pick and the they all get there in the end....

can imagine the frustration at some of the others.......

Oh - what about - a mum with a child with ds came up to us in a store and said to me and dh - 'I have one of those at home!" ONE OF THOSE - ahh a buggy, shopping bag, big belly ( when I was preggers), cool bags - oh you mean a child with down syndrome... that one surprised me - one of those!!

at the spit on the hanky comment jmb - dh and I have both found ourselves going to that and pulling ourselves up then joking how we are turning into our parents!!

i was told by ds1's first nursery manager (evil big chain that I now wouldn't employ to look after my cat) that as he wasn't talking I "must be talking over him". What the f* possesses these people? I was also told by the same person that I didn't "seem to care" that he was delayed (that explains why I was sobbing in her office then- and also why I'd been to the HV the week before and had him referred to the autism specialist (who then said he "definitely wasn't" autistic- but that's a different story!)

My friend summed it up a few days ago after fielding a highly offensive comment from a so called friend- "The days I'm continually disappointed in people".

Christ, my two are NT and that remark drives me up the wall. AND all the people who used to look at them when they were tiny - you know, that stage when you are dying through lack of sleep and you're still the size of a caravan and you're wondering 'what the f*ck have I done with my life' and say 'enjoy it while it lasts'.

the woman at the sainsburys checkout yesterday had the cheek to ask me whether dd2 would ever be potty trained (I'd bought two big boxes of nappies for her)
Of course only thought of clever replies once back in the car.

Geekgrrl!

geekgrrl, how old is your dd? am i correct in think she has DS? if she does and is above a certain age then u may be entitled to free nappies.

and i would've slapped the shop assistant.

I really enjoyed reading all those posts!!

I am in shock at the stupid comments people say. How rude and ignorant are they?

I haven't had anything said yet about Ellie. I dread the day any comments get said to me about her. I hope I am able to say somthing back but will most prob not say anything and go home and cry!!!!!

Had a bizzare conversation with hubbys Aunt tonight....

She asked me...."whether I thought that when J reached Puberty did I think he would get better then....maybe when he's grown up his silly behaviour would vanish because so many children have problems when they are little but settle down when they reach their teens"!!!!!

I put the phone onto "Speaker" so my hubby could also listen to her pearls of wisdom ....he just sat there bashing his head with a cushion and I sat biting my tongue!!!!!

It happens to everyone. When ds was two (and really struggling to keep up, climb stairs etc) someone told me, "If he was potty trained and not wearing nappies he'd be able to walk better, wouldn't he"....aargh! The nursery worker told me that he was getting upset at nursery 'because you never leave him with anyone'"....I'm leaving him with YOU, you dozy bint! And of course, 'when he sees the other children doing it, he will do it too". And I KNOW it's nowhere near as frustrating for me as it must be for many of you.

Jay'smum - I can just picture the scene.... but some people just make you want to go and stand in the garden and just scream!!!

The comment that in all likelihood will stay with me for the rest of my days is the one said last year to me by DS's reception school teacher (who is also the deputy head). She said:-

"I can see traces of Aspergers Syndrome in your son".

WTF!!!!!. This woman would not recognise AS at 10 paces. She was also fully aware of DS's formal diagnosis (developmental delay).

I did put her right on this point (to put it mildly) but taking a bigger picture this comment to me is symptomatic of the problems at that school (and perhaps amongst some other parents too). The only autistic boy in year 2 was permanently excluded because school could no longer cope with him. I am pleased to report though that this particular boy is doing great at his new school

A friend's son is autistic, he didn't talk at all 'til 3+. When she was still trying to find out why he didn't talk she was asked by various health "professionals"...

Do you talk to him?
Do you just sit him in front of the TV all day - that can delay speech development?
Do you have any books in your house?

What is with these people? I know a few children at ds1's school who were parented in the way these questions imply - and they all learned to talk.

Can't believe some of these comments - I don't believe I ever said anything so stupid, even before I found Mumsnet

misdee thanks, yes she has DS but she's 3.5, we'll get free nappies at 4. Can't wait.

and of course I'd forgotton my mil's comment about why hadn't we put him down for public school yet (wtf?? hello, hello is anyone in there??) and of course " there's absolutely nothing wrong with him" followed by the same old same old about so and sos son who was "just like ds1" and was "top of the class by 8". except that so and so's son had verbal dyspraxia not severe f*** autism.

Talking to friend at playgroup recently about ds' diagnosis of ASD, she tried to comfort me by saying 'oh well, he'll probably grow out if it'. aaargh!! I couldn't even be bothered to argue.

When we first had concerns about ds, my mother told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with him, but I definitely had a problem. Apparently I was suffering from depression after giving up work to be at home with him. You career women, it's a shock spending all day with a toddler, in my day it was different etc etc.......

Aloha ROFL at "The nursery worker told me that he was getting upset at nursery 'because you never leave him with anyone'"....I'm leaving him with YOU, you dozy bint!"