Dd cries when her dad is around

[Ionasmum19]

So this has been happening for around a week now. My dd is 5, is non verbal and has developmental delays, and every time her dad comes home from work, or I am having a conversation with her dad, she will cry, like full on crying. I don't have any worries that anything untoward has happened when he has been alone with her, as he is a fantastic dad. It is driving a wedge in our relationship as every time we try have a general chat she gets upset. It gets that bad that I will take her to her bedroom to play and she will calm down when it's just us. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle and I feel so bad for her dad.

i have experienced this. I eventually realised it was because the attention was take from my son- hence the behaviours as soon as his dad walked in because we were talking and engaged in each other , this led to behaviours from my son trying to focus my attention on him.

Ive heard people say it’s because of his autism and he can be very self focused (they’ve used th wipers selfish which I cannot stand), so anything that upsets his equilibrium , he will react to it, but for me, I can understand it.

My son has SLD and is non verbal and so he has to go into self preservation mode and protect the world he’s comfortable in and so , he will try and get my attention with negative behaviours if I’m engaged with someone else.

I’ve tried to change this by constantly interrupting my husband and giving My son the echolia he wants but I admit, I find this hard. I understand it but I have yet to find a solution to it bar literally split my conversations in half so my son doesn’t create a negative behaviour and then it snowballs.
I’ll be watching this thread with interest.

Interestingly he doesn’t try and negatively get my attention whilst I’m on the phone but then I have worked from home since he was a baby so i can only assume he’s used to me being on the phone.

As PP said, it’s likely because attention is no longer focused solely on her.

DS gets very aggressive when DH and I attempt to have a conversation. Or he’ll do something naughty, or just get manic. Basically anything that brings the attention back to him…. he doesn’t even realise he’s doing it.

As above, the same issue when ds was younger. It was to get attention, he wanted sole attention. At one point it was difficult to have a conversation at all. We stopped pandering to it and it eventually stopped.

Thank you all. Its so tough when they can't tell you what's wrong!!

It also helped giving ds a positive way of getting our attention. Does she use any alternative communication methods?

She is learning makaton, but other than that she will point or lead you towards what she wants

With ds we ignored all attention seeking behaviour and modelled how he could get attention. If she signs herself you could try the sign for mum or dad to get your attention. You could also try picture cards as she might he trying to get something particular, we found a choose board very helpful. It's hard to know when they are non verbal so the more positive alternative communication methods you can implement the easy we found it with behaviour.