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Masking at school?

1 reply

AnonymousMum37 · 21/01/2025 10:04

My daughter was diagnosed autistic last year. School have been supportive, but at our most recent meeting they said that they don't see many of the autistic traits in school anymore.

She stims and regulates with unusual noises, animal noises and baby talk almost all the time with us. She has regular meltdowns which can be violent towards herself and others. And goes mute with new people and anyone she does know well, including family she sees less than monthly... But at school she presents as confident and chatty, she has lots of friends and signed up for the student council which includes reading a manifesto out to her class and debating issues with peers from across the school! No major meltdowns and only cried twice in school this year (most days at home).

She used to make a lot of animal noises at school and flap. She now has a fidget band and chewellery which she uses, as well as earplugs (available but rarely used) but outside of this she is doing brilliantly.

I'm not complaining! She loves school and counts down to school in the holidays rather than the other way around. Has even asked to go to boarding school (not an option!!). I can understand masking at school, but sometimes it feels more like she just prefers school to home.

If she is masking, this is bad for her mental health isn't it? She tells me she isn't masking she just loves school and knows everyone there. That the classroom smells weird at the start of a year but once she knows the smell it's ok?

Her teacher is leaving in a few weeks and she'll have an unknown teacher. I am so nervous about how she'll handle the change but I think that school think I'm worrying too much.

Andy advice appreciated!

OP posts:
BrightYellowTrain · 21/01/2025 21:43

Just because the school doesn’t see signs doesn’t mean they aren’t there. The coping at school and exploding at home signifies unmet needs at school. It doesn’t mean home is the problem. I would ask the school if they can provide more support - for example, do they have anyone who can support Zones of Regulation work? Is DD receiving support for selective mutism?

Sometimes DC appear to prefer school to holidays is because of the routine and structure. It is more predictable. How do you organise and structure holidays?

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