Hi, my DS is 11, in yr7 at school and is diagnosed as severely dyslexic, he also has ADHD. He currently has a reading age of 7 and his spelling and writing is at age six, so he has a severe LD. We got an EHCP for him at the end of primary and he is at one of the best state schools for children with SEN in the area. There have been a few teething problems with school, mostly with teachers expecting more from him than he is capable of due to the way he speaks (he is very clever and eloquent so he easily hoodwinks people into thinking he is capable overall). He struggles socially and doesn't have any friends, he wants to hang around the 'cool' kids who generally take the piss out of him but it just rolls off his back (this is heart breaking for me but he says he doesn't care).
His EHCP allows for a 1 to 1 TA for lessons with lots of writing (maths, English, history, geography). School have agreed that he doesn't need to attend French so he has extra intervention during those lessons. He also leave school early once a week (missing art which he is terrible at) to attend a private tutor which I pay for. He is really keen to be able to read on a functional level because he finds it embarrassing.
He is also his own worst enemy, he will give up before even attempting some things, if there is a shortcut he will take it (sometimes good) and often he can be lazy. I fully understand that he finds school exhausting so when he gets home we have a very low demand parenting style, he does next to nothing for himself.
Recently, in the last couple of weeks, I have been seeing in his planner that he is refusing to do work. His science teacher called me and said verbally he is very clever but if asked to write anything at all, DS was just refusing, even when the words he needed to write were on the white board in front of him.
I approached this with Ds and he didn't deny it, this was surprising in itself as he is usually defensive. He then seemed to turn it around in science but it is still happening in other lessons. I have arranged to attend school with his TA and the two SENOC leads after the Xmas break to discuss.
However, since then DS has been saying that he may as well just be a naughty boy as they get treats all the time and they can do what they want. I asked him how that was going to work out at home for him and he said 'naughty boys' kids parents' don't care what they do', I pointed out that I very much cared what he does. Part of this appears to be the fact that he hasn't won the 'top 100' prize that last two times (top 100 kids from each year group get a treat, watch a film etc). However, he certainly hasn't deserved it this term when he has been refusing to work.
He has an answer for everything I say to him but I am really concerned that he will just give up and start being disruptive so he is sent out of class. What else can I do/say to help keep him going. He only just began his school journey!
Sorry for War and Peace and thank you for any help at all.