Pinched child

[dontstopthe]

I am absolutely heartbroken and I don't know what to do.
DC7 has ASD and has very frequent meltdowns which can be violent. I am usually a very calm parent and can cope well with meltdowns and offer lots of support.

It's obviously a busy time of year, DC is in a mainstream school and there have been three Christmas shows this week, also also the excitement of Christmas, advent calendars etc. to top that she has slept worse than ever all week, yesterday she woke at 1am and didn't go back to sleep all night. Obviously she is completely dysregulated.

I've currently got Covid, PMT and have not slept as have been up with her all night through the week, absolutely no excuse. This morning they had a meltdown as I was getting them ready for school.

They kicked me hard with school boots on, hit me in the face, they then pinched me and i am so ashamed I pinched them back, it wasn't very hard and I didn't hurt them but I feel absolutely disgusted with myself. It was reactive and happened before I thought of it. I then cried infront of them and apologised straight away and we had a cuddle, I think they were shocked that I had done that. I am just disgusted with myself and feel completely broken.

I have a parenting class booked in the new year but I just feel I am failing them. I'm supposed to be protecting this child and have just pinched them.

What do I do here? Do I need to speak to the school about what I've down? Speak to social services. I don't want to be this parent.

Sorry for the typos bad grammar I am a mess this morning.

You never do anything like that again and you move forward to being how you want to be. Guilt and remorse are useful only if they make you a better person, and whatever anyone says you can totally change for the better if you just decide to. Wipe your tears, take time to readjust and be the person you want to be. It will be ok.

@Ohthatsabitshit thank you.

I have never ever physically done anything to her before I am shocked at behaviour, I never thought I would be someone who pinched their own child. I plan on speaking to her about it again later and apologising.

I never want to be in a position where this happens again. I think the lack of sleep and illness has really messed up my ability to rationalise.

I completely underhand why she is dysregulated and it's my own fault for allowing her to do all these things. It was just so reactive I never want to be in a position again like this.

Take a breath. I would speak to the school to discuss ways to help DD/reduce her dysregulation. You don’t need to speak to social services in a you must report yourself way. You may want to look at a carer’s assessment and an assessment of DD needs related to her disability and look at your local short breaks offer.

Going forward, some people find the book The Explosive Child helpful. Others find a non-violent resistance courses/resources helpful.