No talking at 25 months old...

[Haleyberry91]

Hi all,
I have a 25 month old boy who is still not talking.
His hearing has been checked before he turned two, they concluded at that time it was fine but will retest in a couple of months.
This is to be done in a couple of weeks. I feel his hearing is ok.
I am worried and have been worried about his lack of speech, hand rubbing, lack of eye contact(does give eye contact but very briefly) and other behaviours that may suggest Autism.

Since he was a few months old, relatives around me have always pointed something or the other, which would worry me but I always thought it was a typical thing a child would do. I realise this may not be the case now, as mentioned this to HV at his 2 year review who got the ball rolling for hearing test, SALT referral etc. He is also on list for paediatric assessment.
My son sat up unaided at 10 months and walked at 17 months, did not crawl at all, albeit a brief period before cruising around furniture before walking. His sleep and eating was fine to me. He did suffer alot with reflux and feeding issues as a baby but settled when he was 6 months. Loved to eat solids and is a good eater, has some textures and foods he avoids but otherwise ok.

• He has no words at 25 months. Apart from Mama and Baba. He grunts, babbles or hums all day everyday
• He can join in nursery rhyme actions but very occasionally when he feels like it.
• For the longest of time he did not respond at all to his name, but will do now for the most part when he is not preoccupied with something else.
• He will lead you to what he wants by holding your hand or pushing you towards it (no pointing)
• He gets very excited when doing his favourite thing (reading his favourite book or toy and muscle clenches and rubs both his hands in excitement)
• He loves anything that spins (wheels, washing machine)
• He stops to look at a car drive past and stays watching until out of sight
• He looks at his fingers very closely (sometimes does this)
• Loves to climb on anything and everything
• Has not been around children his age
• Has a 13 month old brother who he sometimes acklowedges, otherwise nothing no interest or playing with.
• He can play on the phone like he was born with it
• Occasionally grinds his teeth alot.
• Obsessed with flipping pages in book
• his Mchat score is a 6 (but I feel he has come leaps and bounds, as some new things learned only very recently, earlier he did not wave hi or bye does now when prompted, he can now show me body parts i.e head or ears)
• He does understand my commands (like get your shoes or lets change nappy)
• He is emotional and loves to hug and cuddle
• He understands if I fake cry and will try to console me
• He is a very happy and smiley child (has some tantrums - terrible twos)

I feel like I have screwed up because he got unlimited screen time due to my PND, I was struggling alot with his feeding issues and did not limit screen time.
We have threw away the TV and he always cries for my phone so I limit that but damage is done I guess.
I am so scared of having a SN child because I suffer from anxiety attacks and feel like everything is slowly crumbling around me.
I guess I just need the experts to diagnose and go from there. We are waiting for his first SALT appointment and I am slowly and painfully dreading it all. I appreciate all those people who have a thick skin and soldier through all of this.

I need any advice/tips.

Thankyou.

Hello, I have 3 children with Autism and seems to have a few things that my youngest Son does. I find around the 18 months stage it's noticeable. Which I didn't clock on with my 2 oldest till school age when school mentioned it. You don't need to blame yourself over screen time. Children love screen time and have the same issues myself and it wouldn't cause Autism. Your on the right path to getting your son help.

This isn’t your fault. It’s brilliant you already have referrals in the system.

Some of the things you describe can be related to sensory needs. You might find some of the ideas in this booklet helpful.

Your little boy sounds lovely. Some of what you describe can be normal, however some of it could indicate autism/sensory needs. A lot of it reminded me of my DS at that age (he’s now 5) and he was diagnosed with autism this year. Some days can be hard but but he’s an incredible little boy.

Please don’t feel guilty. If it does turn out he is autistic (which he might not be) then this is something he would have been born with and is nothing to do with screen time.

Just wanted to say screen time/phones are often a great device to help ND children (& adults) regulate, so it's not always the evil that we are always told it is.
Try to keep the content he sees as wholesome and age appropriate and not too over stimulating if possible. He might enjoy more gentle content seemingly old-fashioned programmes rather than bright/fast paced cartoons, so guide him towards that if you can.

Even if he is autistic, which at 25 months is very hard to say for certain, it’s not the end of the world.

Remember that autism is a spectrum so there is no guarantee at all that he will have a learning disability (autism is not a learning disability itself), or have high support needs.

He is still your baby regardless of whatever label he has and will be the same with or without this. And honestly it sounds like he is doing fine - he has developed joint attention skills and has a happy temperament. Lots of children have speech delay and no other difficulties in later childhood. Please try not to catastrophise.

I was TERRIFIED when I first started to suspect my son had autism, I mean truly terrified. I remember to this day the sinking, gut wrenching feeling when I finally spoke to my partner about it out loud, we sat in silence afterwards for hours.

He is now 6 and diagnosed with ASD. He has an EHCP in place and we are currently fighting for an agreed place at a specialist school as my biggest worry is and always has been that mainstream isn’t suitable for him.

He’s the best kid ever. Each year he surprises us and he comes on leaps and bounds. I never thought he’d sleep in his own room, own bed etc but he does. Used a highchair until he was 4 and I never thought he’d stop but he did. He never used to walk anywhere, not even from the front door to the car, refused walking up stairs at times, always needed to be strapped in to a buggy. All of that now is a distant memory but once upon a time it felt like there was no end in sight. Used to never sleep with a duvet over him, without a bed-guard etc but now he does. All very little things that don’t mean much to some but to us every little thing is absolutely monumental.

Last year we had an awful time with him stool withholding, the whole family was in distress over it, but now he goes on the toilet for his number twos every single day. Sorry but if I ever have any chance to boast about my son’s achievements I always will. He’s autistic but he’s incredible, his brain works like no other I’ve ever come across. He could count to 20 from the age of 17 months, knew the entire alphabet, countless number of shapes before he even turned 2. He knows all about space, the dwarf planets and can name every fruit and vegetable, instrument, animal known to mankind 😂

A few things in your post do remind me of my son. I never knew really for sure before he turned 3 but we now have a neurotypical 2 year old and it’s only because of him I see all the red flags were there from day one with my first really.

Someone once said to me ‘If I could give your son a tablet now and his autism would go away but he will change completely, would you give it him?’ The answer is no everytime. I didn’t want him to have autism, but it’s who he is and he’s wonderful because of it.