Will try to keep this short...DS1 is 14, DS2 is 10 and AuADHD. DS2 have been through ALOT, but we have a great relationship. DS1 has also been through a lot, I've been a single Mother for about 8 years, I've long carried a real sense of shame about myself that stopped me integrating with other mums, last year I bought a shit hole of a house because we were homeless in a new place that we all dislike. DS1 i think is ashamed of me at times.
DS1 does well at school, likes a couple of the teachers, has friends (although he never meets them outside of school unless he's playing for his football team) and has never been in trouble.
But at home, I need some help relating to him. He's tall and athletic, so boisterous, constantly grabbing us in jest, squeezing us, wants his own way at all times (which I try to accommodate as much as possible to keep the peace), winds his brother up, calls us names. He can't sit still to watch a film with us. I find him harder work than DS2 (which also involves alot of accommodation and peace keeping). Are all teenage boys boisterous? He's quite affectionate often but so demanding. I love that he feels comfortable at home to goof around but it's often at our expense. Part of my wonders if he may be ND. I don't know if it's attention seeking, or what I need to do. We had family therapy last year but DS1 wouldn't engage at all, he doesn't want us to be different to anyone and holds me to an impossibly high standard.