Positive school experiences for neurodivergent children

[DaliaDay]

I hear a lot of stories of schools not supporting children who are neurodivergent, with emerging needs.

My son is 6, very unfocused, can hurt other children through play (not malicious), gets dysregulated, can be very disruptive, meltdowns, sensory overload, outbursts etc etc. Suspected ADHD and ASD.

Was very nervous about him starting school last year, but he was OK in reception (lots of play!).

Come year one which is a hard transition, he's found things incredibly hard. The school have been nothing short of outstanding. Listened to my concerns, and we are only one term in and he has his own work station, 1:1 where available, fidget toys, ear defenders, letter for referral, full behaviour plan, implemented a sticker system for him, emails home rather than at the end of the day, referral to local support service, support with DLA and comprehensive reports from the school, referral for sleep service and sensory profiling etc etc.

I don't mean to be rubbing anything in the faces of those who have had poor experiences, but rather to highlight my positive experience. I know many schools fall short in this area. Just amazed as I haven't needed to ask for any of it!

Has anyone else had a positive experience they'd like to share? Or am I just very lucky?!

DS2’s school (used to be DS3’s school too) is supportive.

If an EHCNA hasn’t already been requested for DS, you should make the request yourself.

Our experience at a local primary y5/6 was very good and again now post 16 college is bumpy but good.

I'm so glad you've had a good experience for your DS. Ours has been good, also - mainstream with EHCP.

My DD2 is 6.7 and in Year 2. She's diagnosed with ASD (this was the replacement diagnosis for developmental delay-motor, social, language etc). She has hypermobility (and had other associated, mostly resolved now, conditions - femoral anteversion, tibial torsion, a large acetabular angle-essentially loose hips but not 'full dysplasia') which caused/contributed to quite a significant delay in not walking, consistently, until almost three (2.8). Her language is 'disordered', although this is considered to be associated with her autism, rather than a standalone condition. Her biggest challenge through the years has no doubt been emotional regulation.

School has been a great experience for DD.

Year R saw the biggest developmental leap, lots of speech therapy, play therapy etc. When she started her language was very delayed, she was at the level of very basic conversation - expressing her needs/wants/preferences. By the end of year R, she was a very chatty 5 yo. We had quite a tricky last term where the increased language caused a big push for autonomy (refusing to come in from the school garden type thing!)

Year 1 was a shock to the system but helped her get used to a much more structured day.

Year 2, again, an even bigger shock to the system (the first few weeks she wanted to go back to Year 1) but we had quite a profound change about a month ago and she's suddenly much more mature. All other development has been slow and steady but something seemed to have clicked on 'turning' six and a half.

She's still a young Year 2, her language is behind for 6 but you can see how it will get there. She is socially young and loves playing with other kids but drifts from child to child and would probably be as happy with a friendly stranger (child) at the park as she would a classmate she has known for 2 years. The same few names do tend to come up but she doesn't have that one best friend or close consistent group. She's still getting SALT once a week.

I can't fault school, the senco is brill and the SALT, play therapy, sensory circuits, sensory room, fidget toys, chewelry, visual aids, ELSA support and so much more have been wonderful.

Thanks for sharing this. My child has just turned three recently and I’m worried about school. Understanding is developing and first words are slowly emerging! Can I ask whether you remember this age being a worrying time?! Sorry to hijack your post. Just very lovely and reassuring to read 🙂

Everyone worries before their child starts school/nursery, and more so if they have other challenges to overcome too. If your child has sen you are likely to have opportunities to have more contact with schools before and during their time there.

Hopefully the OP will be able to help re her DS. But I replied on this thread before (the ridiculously long comment!), so even if you don't have a chance to read it all - 3 for us was a real worry. It's when I realised something was different about DD (beyond the very late walking) as she had very limited speech. She also started pre-school at this age and that was hard as she screamed so much when she was there. However, now at 6 is a different child, fully verbal and thriving.

My 5yo non verbal/ASD DS started mainstream school in September, I was so anxious about the transition as I had heard/read of so many horror stories. Even his nursery manger once said in a IEP meeting “if you think this is hard, school will be worse”.

The school and their staff have been nothing short of amazing. He is in 8:50-2 every day, whereas in nursery he was only in 8-1 three times a week. The staff all absolutely love DS and they accommodate his needs as mush as they can.

Im not sure if mainstream will be the best for for him, and Im currently looking into specialist schools now that his EHCP has (finally) been approved, but in the meantime I know he’s in good hands.

Primary has been really positive on the whole for us. DS went in with an EHCP sorted, which helped as funding was there for some support from the start. His TA is nothing short of amazing. The school have a really supportive and nurturing ethos and his classmates are real cheerleaders for him.

Alas he is in year 6 now and anxiety about the next stage has ramped up noticeably since Sept. He really doesn't want to leave his lovely, cosy little school. 🥺

8yo dd is undiagnosed but on the autism assessment pathway. Her presentation prior to primary school was sensory only, so we didn't suspect anything at that point and put things down to her being quirky. Moving up to primary was a big trigger for her - masked the hell out of things at school, totally fell apart at home. Due to her internalised presentation we faced a huge uphill battle with her school, mostly due to gatekeeping by her senco, who repeatedly said nothing was wrong, academically she was working as expected. There were signs, of course (controlling behaviour in play) but they put it down to her age. It took a lengthy period of school avoidance for them to take her difficulties seriously. For her, the trigger in Y1 was a very shouty teacher, who often took a shaming approach to behaviour management. We didn't realise it at the time though. Anyway, we fought for her to be put on the sen register, sought any help we could via the family worker and local authority (our case worker was superb) and applied for ehcp needs assessment. We were finally granted the ehcp in December last year.

In the meantime, the school's leadership changed and an excellent new head teacher started. Our daughter had an absolutely brilliant teacher in Y2 and she really flourished. She's at the junior school next door now, in Y3, and likewise has a really lovely, nurturing and understanding teacher. The transition into Y3 has been a success and she's so much more open about the things she struggles with now she knows we really understand her (and she's beginning to understand herself).

So for us it's been very mixed, but recently very successful and well supported. Even the office staff are truly excellent and clearly well trained in sen. It's a mainstream state school, but in a village.