Coping at Christmas

[Threelittleduck]

Maybe a bit early but I've been thinking about Christmas. As a family we all genuinely love Christmas, all of us apart from DS.
He is probably autistic and in all areas of development is more like a 2 year old than a 4 year old and he's also non verbal. DS hates any change to his routine. He will not open presents, will not visit Father Christmas and just doesn't want to do anything different.
Do I just not bother doing presents for him? Not sure how I can keep his routine going when we either have family over or go to them. How do you help your children so they're not overwhelmed and end up having a meltdown or not sleeping?

what would he really enjoy doing or playing with?
bubbles?
marble run?
slime?
slides?
trampoline?
sandpit?
drums?
what’s his favourite thing now?

He doesn't really like toys. He used to love dinosaurs but now he prefers playing outside. Climbing frames and trampoline is his favourite. He will climb on everything including people.
He does also enjoy water play, pouring from one container to another and will sometimes look at books (but we're not allowed to read them to him) but that is about it. I find it difficult when the rest of the family want to take turns opening presents but he has no interest.
I can obviously take him out but not for the whole holiday and if we go to see family (which we always do) it's even more difficult.

Present wise, if DS likes the trampoline and climbing frame, can you look at other things that will give a similar sensory feel? For example, an outdoor swing or an indoor sensory swing, bilibo, a steamroller ramp (can use as a slide or climb up), a southpaw kit or gorilla gym for the door frame, soft play cubes/pieces, an exercise or peanut ball. Or a mini indoor trampoline if you have the space? Our indoor trampoline gets used daily.

Some find DC better if they do one present a day. Some also find not wrapping presents helps.

With family, this is a time you are going to have to be direct about what you will do and when and what DS needs.

We have the same situation, ds is a lot older though. We do what makes ds happy. He doesn't want decorations, a tree, Christmas dinner etc, so we don't do it. He doesn't like opening presents, he finds it really stressful. We get him presents of course but they aren't wrapped and he is given them one at a time over a couple of weeks. As for toys/activities, what does he enjoy? Ds didn't play with toys at all until he was 12. I'd get him what he did like, things like a fleece blanket, treats he likes, art supplies, bubbles, bath bombs, a new whiteboard etc. You can make it whatever you want, it doesn't have to be traditional.

Our son has a 6-18 month period to decide whether he likes new toys. Very very few things are an instant hit. I thought his peanut ball was a total waste of money but he loves it now.

Not wrapping presents helped too.

Christmas dinner is just a jazzed up Sunday roast. Can he have any bits he would normally eat.

Seeing Santa is pretty disconcerting for lots of typical children. If he gets nothing from it then don’t take him.

tbh, family are going to have to get used to him and his needs being different. start new Christmas traditions.

What about one of those sand and oil pictures that you turn over and watch the stuff fall? I’d just blow some £s on things he might like, and accept that Christmas is different for him.

Dcs are much older now but still wouldn't cope with a typical Christmas. For presents we ask them what they exactly want and choose it together before Christmas, so there are no surprises. Dcs have their normal food when they want it, we parents have a roast chicken dinner together when we like it. Just a quiet time, telly and gaming. No visitors, and not going anywhere, it would just result in meltdowns. It's actually really, really nice.