Meltdowns what’s the right way to handle this

[Unintentionallycausingoffence]

DS who’s 8 has ASC and delayed language . We’d come back from going to a play centre after school and he wouldn’t get out of the car as he wanted to go to the library. The library was closed and he needed to have his tea and wind down. He doesn’t understand closed unless he sees the door is locked and even then taking him to see it closed could make things worse. Would leaving him in the car with us outside be safe or not?

I wouldn’t leave DS outside in the car alone. If you think moving DS into the house will prolong the meltdown, you could remain in the car with DS.

Did being overwhelmed from the play centre contribute to the meltdown? Sometimes what appears to be the trigger isn’t, or there are other contributing factors?

I’d guess not, but that may be because I couldn’t do that with mine, who I can’t leave in the car even to pay for petrol.

What did help us and still does is practicing a behaviour that helps calming down after an upset. We use a glass of cold milk with a straw or an ice lolly. Ds is absolutely convinced that drinking the milk of eating the lolly will help him be calm and get back to happy. It’s extremely effective and I think sensory experience plus sugar and liquid ARE very helpful when upset. Because my ds has limited language we started this by giving it to him when he was already calming and exclaiming to each other how well it worked.

The play centre was quiet and he did really want to go. Although it’s not the time or day we would usually take him and he is very routine driven. He did have his tea late as well because of going out. The session was exclusively for children who attend the school he attends.

Did your son know what the plan was in advance? If he’s routine driven then it sounds like that might have been the problem. I wonder if some sort of visual planning or using some kind of transitional object(s) would be useful to prepare him for changes to the usual routine? (Please ignore if not developmentally appropriate for him.)

With my child once he was in meltdown/freaking out then there’s not much you could do about it so waiting it out seems like the best option. As he gets older his understanding is likely to improve so hopefully these things will happen less often. That has certainly been the case for my son.

It depends on your child as to whether or not he is safe in the car without you. If you are nearby and can see him then I can’t see why that would be a problem.