ASD 5yo hitting me & teachers - how to help?

[readingmakesmehappy]

We have just had an ASD diagnosis for my 5yo, who is starting Yr 1. At times of sensory overload, or when he feels things aren't going his way, he often lashes out. Yesterday he hit a teacher in the playground, which school are obviously worried about, and it is not uncommon for him to hit me when he is frustrated. He is strong for his age and this hurts. He was asked to leave summer camp after two days because he hit other kids.

He is bright and he knows he shouldn't do this. He told me last week that he gets a hot feeling in his hands when he gets cross and that hitting makes this go away. He shows quite a lot of sensory seeking behaviour (eg chewing, always touching things he passes) and I think is looking for a physical release of frustration.

I am so worried that he is going to be asked to leave school if he keeps doing this and I don't know how to help him. We talk about emotions, every time he does it at home we tell him this is wrong and there is an immediate consequence (things like no screen time, removal of a toy, sent to his room), but I must be doing something wrong because it keeps happening. A friend suggested a child psychologist or play therapy to help.

Has anyone had similar challenges? Any advice out there?

My DS who is 4 and has ASD is the same. He is bright, knows what he's doing is wrong, can identify emotions in the abstract, but in the moment it all goes wrong. We've had this issue all through nursery and I'm dreading it happening at school.

You sound like you're trying to do the right thing but the consequences won't really stop him doing it again because, in the moment, he doesn't have the impulse control to make a good choice.

The things that have helped are managing his sensory input with movement breaks, sensory circuits, and breaks outside the classroom. You need to try to stop things getting to the point of overwhelm. Does he have a plan for anything like this?

He also needs a plan of alternative actions when he starts to feel like this - going to quiet spaces, fidget toys, bouncing on a stress ball, hitting a pillow. He might need a lot of coaching on this at first because he will probably struggle to identify his feelings and may struggle to ask for help.

What support is DS receiving? Does he have an EHCP? Is the school providing support with emotional literacy and self regulation? Do they use anything like Zones of Regulation? Has DS had a sensory OT assessment?

The school should be looking to support DS’s SEN rather than permanently excluding DS.

Do you and school have sensory equipment? Some find a trampoline or punch bag helps.

Keeping a detailed diary to spot triggers will help. It is easier to prevent escalation than trying to deescalate once DC have reached the tipping point.

Some people find the books The Explosive Child and the Out of Sync Child helpful. Others find Yvonne Newbold’s resources useful.

We have only just got ASD diagnosis so now applying for EHCP. Awaiting OT report.

Have read The Explosive Child and will look at the others you mention.

He has fidget toys, and a chew bracelet to try and direct his sensory needs a little.

School are trying but are not used to dealing with these sorts of needs (it's independent).

The school should be providing more adjustments.

Fidget toys and a chew bracelet are unlikely to be sufficient to meet DS’s sensory needs. I would look at other sensory toys/equipment. As well as toys/equipment, look at some of the ideas here.

Has an EHCNA actually been requested yet? If not, do that ASAP. You don’t need to wait for any more evidence.

A book like The out of sync child will help you identify ds’ sensory needs and give details of activities to support them. Ask for an occupational therapist assessment as part of the EHC needs assessment so that these needs can be included in the EHCP.

There is more support. He has more one to one support, comes in from playtime at a different time to ease the transition, doesn't wait in line for as long as the others, does small social groups to work on empathy, has a quiet place he can go to when he needs to clam down and a weighted pad he can get if he needs grounding. EHCP application is underway.

There is some really useful stuff in that linked doc, thank you. The eating stuff is useful - he really seeks crunchy food and finds it helpful as an energy release.

What no one can tell me is if he will make up this gap in social skills, albeit at a slower pace than his peers, or if he will always find these things hard. I suppose it's impossible to know.

I know you said the EHCP application is underway, but has an EHCNA request actually been submitted to the LA yet?

Autism is a social communication disorder. Social communication differences will always be present, but the actual challenges can vary at different points in life and the situation/circumstances/environment at the time.

Does he have ELSA support in place?

My DD had play therapy in Year 1 and has now moved on to ELSA in Year 2.

She has violent outbursts at home, and into / out of school, but tends to mask during class (for now). She says she can't stop herself and she doesn't want to do it, so I totally understand where you are coming from. She also has difficulty expressing her emotions.

Which county are you in, if you don't mind me asking?

@AKHJ23 Cambs. Given I wasn't sure what ELSA was, that's probably a no. He has a TA with him most of the time in his current school, but I'm assuming if he does move to the local state primary that will probably not happen.

My DD is in mainstream in Hants.

ELSA is Emotional Literacy Support Assistant, and was recommended to us Developmental Paediatrics. We spoke to the school SENCO and they have a ELSA on staff, so they are now assisting DD. She has a session with them during school time once a week.

Is your DD in mainstream too?

I have had a google and can see there is an ELSA network in Cambs.

https://www.elsanetwork.org/area_contact/cambridgeshire/

Some primary school websites came up in the search too, so it might be worth googling the name of your DS school with 'ELSA' and see if they have anything listed on their page.

I also recently completed a 'parenting course' aimed at parents of children with ASD. I felt very patronised when it was recommended, but came away from the course with a greater in-depth understanding of how an ASD mind works, and with ways I hadn't thought of to help support my DD. It was also good to hear from other parents who completely understood what we were experiencing.

There may be some autism specific ones in Cambs on this link (if you are interested):

https://www.cambridgeshire.gov.uk/residents/children-and-families/parenting-and-family-support/parenting-courses

He has a TA with him most of the time in his current school, but I'm assuming if he does move to the local state primary that will probably not happen.

This is why it is important the EHCNA is submitted ASAP.