Teaching conversational pragmatics - where to start? Blossomhill?

[roisin]

We have been advised that ds1 (7.5) would benefit if we (or others) "verbally teach strategies for the skills of conversational pragmatics" ... starting/ending conversations, when/how to change subject, non-verbal body-language, etc.

I just don't know where to start on this - I am contacting the EP for further advice, and will also see what his SALT and school can offer, but I also thought I would ask you wonderful folk.

Does anyone know of a good resource/book/website which would be a good starting place for me to learn about this?

Thank you in anticipation!

Thanks Yorkiegirl xxx

I have here an article, whose basis is so depressing I can't bring myself to read it yet. It claims that conversational pragmatics cannot be taught. All you can do is encourage social awareness, and the Con Prag may follow.

Atm ds1 is gloriously naively socially unaware, and although I know in my heart it is the only way forward; I also know that encouraging him to be more socially aware is going to bring with it a lot of pain and heartache. Right now he just does not realise that he is different, does not care how other people see him/what they think of him. In the last few months he has started to notice things a tiny bit more, and I know it's going to bring him a lot of hurt. And right now I just don't know whether encouraging his social awareness is a reasonable thing to do.

Really Roisin? I thought they could and that was the whole point of dd's social skills.
I know exaclty what you mean about social situations. Dd went up to this boy and said "hello again" and he said "why do you know me?". Dd obviously didn't understand and just said "I don't know" he was with a friend and they were laughing. They said "lets follow that girl she is funny". I was like a hawk and stayed right next to dd but it was so obvious they wanted to make fun and all she wanted to do was make friends . I think as long as you support him in situations like that then you can always step in!

What article is it Roisin?

They can be taught. I have a friend with 2 ASD boys & she has taught them & her 2 NT boys. She recently took my DS1 out too & went over social skills with him. Same stuff you are talking about- how to read body language and know how the person you are talking to is feeling, how to start & end a conversation (I need that lresson!), how to recognise when you are acting inappropriately. We're in Kent. Where are you roisin?

I'm in SW Cumbria Tallulah - about as far away from you as it's possible to be in England!

Has your friend used any published materials she would recommend Tallulah? I've been looking at SULP - which looks great, just maybe a bit too babyish for ds1. There's also Socially Speaking which looks more appropriate, but like the other it's geared to doing in a small group situation, which I don't have.

It may be that school suggest that they will do something with him, possibly in a small group with KS1 children (they do use SULP at school). But we haven't met up with them yet, so I don't really want to second-guess their suggestions. But either way I would like to do as much as we can at home as well.

I was always told that they could be taught it's just that the children didn't learn them naturally like other children too. I think that's the purpose of social stories and skill groups.
My dd has definitely improved in her pragmatics as she has been practising at school

Roisin- sorry to hear from the other thread that things are tough atm. Really relate to what you're saying, both on account of other parents I've met (through old work) with kids who possibly have borderline diagnosable conditions and because one of my sons has a few social skills issues which I intermittently feel concerned about.

I think the key to teaching pragmatics/social skills to kids of this age- isn't your boy 7 or thereabouts?- is to be positive and fairly matter of fact, actually, which sounds the opposite of what your paper says? For example, I praise both my sons for good eye contact, talking at an appropriate volume, not interrupting, entering a conversation at the "right" time, replying when one of their friends says hello to them etc etc. I've tried to incorporate these as family rules, if you like. If either of my sons question these "rules" I will give a short, matter of fact explanation. e.g. "When you look at me I can tell you are listening and want to talk." "If you talk very loudly the whole bus/street/block will be disturbed." "If you don't say hello to X he will think you don't like him." sort of stuff. This seems to benefit both my sons, though one of them doesn't "need" these rules to anything like the same extent.

I don't know if this is exactly the type of thing you are worried about as I'm not an expert on conversational pragmatics by any stretch of the imagination, but I do think there is usually a way round emphasizing a child's "difference" in a negative way. And I'm v confident that you will find it because you are so positive about and supportive of your kids.

Thanks for your post Scummymummy ... that is really helpful and encouraging to me. I think your approach sounds brilliant and exactly the sort of thing I'd like to aim for.

roisin, that's a shame because she is an expert on it. I don't know whether she uses anything published. I know I've heard her say similar things to scummy's post.

Roisin - Have you thought of seeing if someone like Camhs or SALT do social skills groups. That is the problem you cannot teach social skills/pragmatics unless in a group situation. Dd was getting 1:1 SALT when she first started at the unit but now that the other parts of her langauge are catching up the SALT said there is no benefit what so ever of dd having 1:1 as she really needs the small group work, which thankfully she is having twice a week.

We're still waiting to hear what school have to say in response to the EP report. They may suggest him joining a group at school, possibly with younger children. If not, we will ask SALT - we are waiting for a phone call any day about his ST review (for articulation difficulties). I agree that some group work would be ideal if we can find it for him from somewhere!

Good luck Roisin. Hope you manage to get something sorted out