PDA I'm not coping.

[notcopingcup]

I'm not coping with my 5yr PDA boy. He's not diagnosed but clearly pda with some autistic traits when disregulated. School are not coping, they say he should settle by the time he is 7? How do we manage until then? I did his homework with him after school with lots of coaxing and fun but it must have been too much as he ended up having a meltdown and whacking and kicking me. I don't know how to deal with this and it was a disaster. He just starting slightly reduced hours and I said I'd try school work at home (he's very bright but won't/can't do anything he's supposed to). I've no help, Nanny's leave so quickly and his dad is clearly PDA himself so while he is good at the fun bits he isn't great at the actual hard work of parenting. I just get all the crap and abuse of parenting and none of the fun. I'm just not cut out for this. I miss my older child and normal parenting with them as I just firefight with my youngest the whole time. I have no idea how to cope or get out of this mess.

As I said, you misunderstand EOTAS. Despite what many LAs think, EOTAS/EOTIS is completely bespoke to the individual. There is no ‘not allowed here’ or has to be term time only or early only about it. The law is the same in all LAs. But, yes, as I said, many have to appeal.

The benefit of EOTAS/EOTIS is it can fund far more provision (not just academically) than the vast, vast majority of parents can afford to fund themselves. That isn’t a criticism of parents, but a statement of what a good comprehensive EOTAS package is and that a good comprehensive package is far, far more expensive that independent mainstream schools (and some independent specialist schools).

I get that that is the idea, but the reality is I can't see what it is? It's not funding our lovely trips away during the term which are invaluable to us. I've employed directly all the professional tutors and teachers with varying degrees of success (and failure), I can afford them and like them on my terms (which have my sons best interest as the priority). The lessons like swimming, horse riding etc are not good, it's cheaper to pay a good professional directly although I'm paying not the council paying an inflated price. I'm asking as I genuinely want to leave no stone uncovered, what could it look like? Nobody can tell me. I could absolutely get EOTUS and I see how for some it would look like swimming with hoists in a warm physio pool with several staff and specialist accommodation but my son doesn't need disability care, he needs understanding and and there are very few who get it while believing he can be anything other than a challenging problem.

EOTAS/EOTIS is bespoke. It is whatever is suitable and reasonably required. There isn’t one way it looks. Or even one thousand ways it looks like. It doesn’t have to involve hoists, specialist equipment and specialist accommodation.

OP well done to you pulling him out / not pushing schooling and trying to work out what works or not. Been on a very similar journey.

Totally love your reply and you could spend £10k for tribunal / professionals for the La not to follow and just end up spending all the stress arguing with the LA (depending which county). I suppose you will have to decide how much money you spend verses worth a tribunal / hassle / professionals / advocate

Yes you could do all the legal letters / stress and cash but ultimately it what makes the child / family / you happy ❤️ and avoid a JR.

I hope your family has a good year and makes some happy memories.

It it does need approval though, and that comes with enormous red tape. Your theory is correct but in practice I've not found anyone who's got it. Very happy for you to give me more information if you know different.

Thank you. I'd fight if I could see what I'm fighting for. I'm sure I will in a few years but there's nothing I can't access directly and at a higher standard myself. I've a big team around me to consult with, I'm shocked it's this way but it is. I was quoted £12k for my lawyer and he would get all education paid for for the whole of my son's schooling but it's not that simple. Our lawyer did mention we would probably need to move, we might later but currently I can't see him happy and thriving in any school. He's only just six, I'm not worried for him, the only thing that made him distressed if trying to hit school targets that were their agenda not his. At home he's very interested in his academic work. We are actually very happy on our own (I mean with support but not from the LA).

For EOTAS some children can have massive packages £100k- £200k and it’s lasting up to 25 for an EHCP It’s more the salt / OT when they charge £100 for 40 mins work and it’s weekly soon adds up. Or if you go to a company that specialises in pda then you are paying £75/hr for a LSA or £120 for a tutor so the cost adds up quickly

I think you got a bad lawyer as £12k for entire schooling is incorrect. The EHCP needs to be updated every year (theoretically but LA are crap and don’t follow the law) you defo wouldn’t need to move but hopefully you don’t live in Surrey as they are absolutely dire LA.

At 6 id enjoy him. Life could get a lot harder the older he gets and unable to go out / enjoy life.

If you want to totally understand EOTAS look up sos sen webinars. She is called Megan and she does one on EOTAS. It will cost £10. Megan is on fire she knows her stuff. Listen to it - it’s brilliant.

otbers to follow N fisher, Heidi marble run (she has an amazing EOTAS webinar)

Eliza Fricker, Clare Truman,Laura Kirby does some good books on pda

At peace parents on Insta. She is good to follow.

Id say to fight for an EOTAS package it’s at least £12k or more getting professional assessments / advocates and loads of stress to the parents plus you might not get the provider you want so then it’s a bad outcome too as LA like the cheaper ones (some will argue you can do it all for free but not to get the good professionals for evidence)

Every day a new day and things with change every year whilst he is happy id keep on enjoying life :-) trying to fight for EOTAS is a lot of stress

Good luck with everything

An increasing number of children and young people have EOTAS/EOTIS (with or without the C on the end). I have 2 DSs with EOTAS/EOTIS personally and have supported many others to secure packages.

Yes, many have to appeal to secure a comprehensive package, but parents don’t need to spend £12k on representation (that was actually quite poor if they really told you it “would get all education paid for for the whole of my son's schooling” because no EHCP made now guarantees that for potentially up to nearly 2 decades and that you would have to move.) Most parents do not have representation. Spending £10k on reports isn’t essential either. Yes, evidence is required, but for parents who aren’t eligible for legal aid (which can fund independent assessments), Parents in Need can help. These don’t have to be poor reports like LA reports often are.

and at a higher standard myself.

This, again, misunderstands EOTAS. A comprehensive package in a good EHCP does not provide second best support and, written correctly, can use the same people you would use if you self funded. Whoever has told you this is misunderstanding EHCPs and EOTAS.

By all means continue to EHE. That is, of course, your right. But if you decide you no longer wish to EHE, you should make decisions based on correct information rather than myths and misunderstandings.

Surrey certainly isn’t a stranger to EOTAS/EOTIS.

I'm in Warwickshire, I know people who have eotas but there package isn't suitable for my son. I know the pda specialists, all of them, I've

EOTAS is bespoke to the individual child’s needs. Someone else’s package being unsuitable for your DS is irrelevant. Although this morning you said “I've not found anyone who's got it”.

I mentioned Surrey in relation to the pp, not you. Although Warwickshire isn’t a stranger to it, either.

Pressed enter too soon... I've paid the local pda specialists directly, they didn't work well with my son. SEN nanny useless - local student with pda sibling - amazing. PDA tutor - not successful, local teacher that works extra on the side - brilliant. Horse care too far away, regular horse riding great with him and cheap. Specialist swimming lesson, cold and unpleasant, local hotel pool, quiet and warm. There are no schools suitable in our area, Sen, state or independent. There are some schools we could move for later. What would my hypothetical eotas package pay for? This is what I don't understand. I have sourced everything on my terms, what am I missing? I'm genuinely asking. I don't have speech and language therapy but I'm not sure my highly articulate son needs that. It is something I'd be interested in as I think there is a difference in vocabulary and communication. I just don't know what I would ask for? The LA and 'everyone else' haven't come up with anything suitable. What are these packages exactly made of? None I've asked about fit us so I can't see what I'd ask for.

As I said, packages are completely bespoke to the individual child. They can be whatever they reasonably require.

An EOTAS package could fund everything you have just listed that works - swimming at a local hotel pool, horse riding, local teacher, local student. It could also fund things like equipment/resources, memberships/subscriptions, whatever DS enjoys doing (gaming, arts, an allotment, gardening, sports, cooking, music, whatever his interests are), a budget to access the community &/or do whatever self-directed activity DS wants to do. It could fund professional time for things like co-ordinating the package and EP time, training for staff, insurances, travel costs, a member of staff to take DS to e.g. horse riding… Then other therapies such as SALT (see below) and OT (including sensory integration OT).

SALT is about more than being articulate. Autistic individuals, including those with a PDA profile, have difficulties which a good SALT could help with, otherwise they wouldn’t have received the diagnosis. Good SALT via an EHCP can be far more than what is typically available on the NHS.

The LA and anyone connected with them won’t come up with a package. That would cost them money. This is even more so since you are EHEing.

So I should just tot up all my home ed expenses and that's the package? Maybe I'll do that and represent myself in court, do I get an hourly rate as the only tutor he'll work with? I should charge for lunch and heating the 'classroom' too. I'm writing a cost spreadsheet for my own info.

In your haste to be sarcastic, you have once again highlighted how little you understand EOTAS.

DC with EOTAS packages who would be entitled to FSM if they were in school can receive monies for lunches. This is following a campaign led by one mother, which resulted in a change to the government's FSM guidance. Contact has model letters parents can use. But it doesn’t apply to those who EHE.

As part of their packages, some children and young people have a budget that can be used for eating out, the child going shopping, &/or buying ingredients for cooking/baking. Some others have subscriptions such as hello fresh boxes.

Some get a small contribution to utility bills. Again, doesn’t apply to EHE so irrelevant to you now.

No, you can’t just tot up your EHE expenses. By choosing to EHE, you relieve the LA of their duty to provide education. However, for some DC, from the child’s day-to-day perspective, their EOTAS package looks exactly like EHE would.

It is unlikely the LA would pay you to deliver provision. That rarely happens. EOTAS isn’t EHE. And despite you now saying DS will only work with you as a tutor, you have acknowledged DS can work with others - the local teacher, the local student, the riding instructor.

I’m absolutely not trying to be sarcastic. I’m very curious and increasingly skeptical because nobody can tell me how to access any of these eotas packages. Unless I leave my son in a completely unsuitable school then Warwickshire Council put us as electively home educating. I’m not electively home educating, I have to do it because I’m not dumping my son in an unsuitable place until he breaks mentally. I’m trying everything. It’s hard as we don’t need money, we need expertise, which I can’t find. I can only speak to every single person I find to ask how to access this eotas package, please DM the exact name of a consultant, lawyer etc or anyone who can give me this information. It seems like a myth. When I say he won’t work with anyone, I’m slowly building my team but no, he hasn’t learnt anything from anyone other than me yet but I’m hoping he will soon as the relationships are building. At least we are all happy and on the same page. Truly without sarcasm, I’d love advise on how to get an eotas or more importantly what it could consist of that is more professional and expert than me because I’m neither. I’m just a regular mum with an extraordinary last child.

EOTAS absolutely is not a myth. There is an increasing number of children and young people in receipt of EOTAS. I have 2 DC with EOTAS and have supported others to secure the same.

But, as I have already posted, many have to appeal. And that is how you can secure it if it is inappropriate for provision to be made in a school. So, if you didn’t want to EHE, did you appeal? If not, and you want to pursue EOTAS, do you still have the right of appeal? If not, you can request an early review in order to try to secure the right of appeal again - IPSEA has a model letter you can use for this.

Representation isn’t required for appealing, but if you did want it, you could look at Sinclairs, Simpson Millar, Watkins and HCB solicitors.

As I said, EOTAS packages can include whatever special educational provision (the definition of which is actually wider than many realise) is reasonably required. That includes professional involvement.

Relationship building can take a long time. Far longer than since the start of your thread. That is normal for some DC and doesn’t mean you will be paid.

In the meantime, if you no longer want to EHE, you can inform the LA you are no longer EHE and they need to make arrangements to ensure DS receives a suitable full-time education and anything detailed, specified and quantified in F of the EHCP. If the LA refuses, delays, or ignores you, you can enforce the provision. Email the Director of Children’s Services threatening judicial review for failure to provide provision under section 19 of the Education Act 1996 and for breach of section 42 of the Children and Families Act 2014. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with that. Although there is a wait so some choose to go elsewhere. Then, if that fails, JR itself will resolve the situation.