Anyone else got a 5 year old heading to Year 1 and worried about the transition?

[Rhubarblin]

DD* age 5 (I'll add more specific details about DD at the bottom of the post to keep the main part as short as possible) has just finished Year R/Reception so will be starting Year 1 in September. She's in mainstream and overall coped well but obviously Year R is very play based. Her school is very nurturing. Academically she's done well considering her other needs.

Year 1... I'm just worried about things getting more formal and started this thread to see if anyone else is in the same position?

*DD is aged 5.3. Her dx are ASD and language disorder. Emotionally, socially, general personality wise she's more like a say 3.8 yo NT child (she's followed a pattern of about 30% less than her chronological age). She has an EHCP and school are extremely helpful and supportive. School really are brilliant and have put so much in place to support her, my worry is more of the general increase in demand on DD as she grows older (socially, academically).
DD has come so far but seems a lot younger than her NT peers. Progress has been brilliant, age 3 she had essentially zero functional conversational language, now she speaks in extended sentences. Communication has helped the emotional regulation, now she can say (and probably cry!) that she wants to wear the pink shoes not the blue rather than just screaming. Her main areas of need, particularly in a school environment are social communication, emotional and focus/listening/sitting still. I would say if she was almost 4 now, these things would probably be age appropriate.

Hey all! Ds started at a ss this September and the difference has been huge! It's absolutely perfect for him and we couldn't be happier. We loved his ms but it wasn't right fit him. Appeal still ongoing for provision in ehcp but otherwise pretty happy! Language around same but less overwhelmed and seems far happier

Ah, that's brilliant! I'm so pleased for you!! I know this time last year must have been so stressful for you when your DS was struggling.

Oh @Annon12345 that is such a wonderful update! What do you think is making the difference (smaller setting, trained staff etc)?

I'm not really sure how things are going at the moment. We've had a very tricky start but it kind of started before summer holidays too. I'm not sure if this is a sign we need to make a change to setting or development or just a bit of a phase of overwhelm that we need to work through. I know there is more sitting and classroom time this year, school have a lot in place to support but I guess this year will be a big test!

Is it still issues around regulation for your DS? Are there any other schools you think might be more suitable? The mainstream vs specialist is such a big dilemma for so many children with SEN (and then actually getting a place is another big nightmare/battle).
I've found the approach in Yr R/1 (as well as there being less work for DC than Yr 2) was a bit 'fluffier' (for want of a better word, maybe I mean gentler) and the Yr 2 staff are a bit more direct/pushing resilience, I suppose.

Hello Year 2 gang - just checking in! I can't believe it's been 6 months since I last posted on here.

DD2 is now 6.11 - so very almost 7! She's very excited to move up to Juniors, although for me this seems probably like the biggest 'jump' so far as Infants have been so supportive and inclusive and I don't think Juniors are quite as exceptional. I think she's probably emotionally/socially like a 5 year old, although sometimes can show real insight and maturity beyond her years. She's 'expected' in terms of academics and has made a best friend the last couple of months at school who is lovely (also a child with SEN but not ASD). A few other names come up and it's more consistent who she plays with now. DD2 is still super demanding but reflecting back on the last several years she is so much easier now, still can get emotional but more tears now than screaming. We haven't had meltdown in a long time. I still think six and a half was a real turning point, I don't think why.

How is everyone else?

This is quite an old thread now but how are our Year 3's doing? After Year 2 being so great, DD is finding Year 3 hard and the meltdowns are back (in school and home, she cannot mask when in the red traffic light zone). She does have her EHCP with good support (e.g. movement breaks are so important now!) but a mainstream environment is still busy and high pressured. Academically is doing OK, particularly good in English, Maths I think she scrapes average. But the emotional regulation is still her biggest area of need.

So so sorry I seemed to miss your last messages, I didn't think it was so long since my last post. Life changed very quickly, after our annual review we were very lucky to get a place in a specialist unit in a local maintream school. I hadn't thought it could happen so quickly but incredibly thankful that we were able to change before Junior school as it was just going to get harder every year, every conversation was about helping him to cope and that just didn't feel right when he had always really enjoyed school.

The difference has been amazing for DS, socially mainstream worked well and he still has elements of that but in terms of a space to be regulated and to learn there is no comparison. So early days but hoping this continues!

We have bumped into several former school friends who have found the expectation jump for juniors, work and homework significant. Hopefully for your DD when she gets used to that her emotional regulation will follow? It's tough they are expected to be much more grown up than they are! All kids are different but a huge help for DS even last year was to make evenings and weekends as quiet and low demand as possible. I think we thought tiring him out (he always seems full of energy!) Would help when actually he had no space and time to process things! It has really helped, he is so much calmer.

I'm so glad your DS got a place at the right setting. They call those Resourced Provisions where I live, I think.

In a way DD's only area of need now is really the 'emotional regulation' but it affects all areas of her life. Her previous issues like language are pretty much caught up now. She does still have some mild physical issues. Progress has never been completely linear but she's generally got easier as she gets older but this feels like a step back because of the demands of Year 3. She's saying it's the work that is "too hard" whilst doing OK academically. The meltdowns are screaming, throwing things at me, lashing out. But equally when she's regulated, she's easier than when she was younger.

We also have a new neighbour, a slightly older girl, who I actually think is also on the spectrum and ADHD but she knocks ALL.THE.TIME (rain or ice doesn't stop her!)😩 So this is slightly ruining our home safe space as DD wants to go out everytime if we're at home. If she can't go out, this then triggers a meltdown so I've been taking her out. Then I take her out and friend asks to come in for dinner/playdate and I have to say no to this as by this point DD is tired and hungry and we can potentially risk another meltdown. I can't win. She knocks all day on the weekend even when I've said we're busy. I know the mumsnet thing here would be to chat to the parents but I don't want her to stop completely and clearly they don't care. She's always at home too. So it's easier for us to be busy.

DD has always had a busy brain, I now think she has ADHD with a very female internal presentation, which explains to needs to be constantly doing something but not necessary externally hyper. We always have plans on non-school days to keep her entertained, balanced again her autism need for the place we go to not be too overwhelming.