Your own needs as a SEN parent

[Fififizz]

I’m struggling with meeting my own needs as well as my child’s. Wondering if this is common? I’m an older mum so in the menopause too which I’m sure is impacting. My son has lots of little needs, which added together are quite significant. That’s how the EP described it and pretty well sums up the situation. He’s ASC with other bits thrown in. Executive function is a big one and I support massively behind the scenes. It’s almost like I’m the executive function brain for two people which I suppose I am. I have to plan for my son’s needs ahead of my own otherwise he’d flounder (he’s a teen) so I’m constantly putting myself at the bottom of the list. I know that’s a mum’s role but I suppose now the menopause has hit I’m struggling with everything a lot more. I wondered if anyone had managed to find a good balance between supporting themselves and meeting their own needs as a person and supporting their child too?

Many LAs don’t have them on public display, sadly.

@ThomasWasTortured

Thanks

I’ll ask for them then.

They must exist otherwise it’s a major red flag. I bet they try the ‘well, they’re under review so we can’t provide them’ line. I’m feeling deflated already. I can foresee a complaint about refusing to provide relevant documentation and/or FoIA request (though they really should be in the public domain already) before I’ve even engaged with the service. I’ve got definitely got that ‘here we go again…’ feeling! 😱

@ThomasWasTortured
Thomas, please can I ask. If Soc care won’t assess and put me under CwD team (in spite of specifying in my request - they’re already seemingly sending us into the FAST team, though it could be a form of early triage and allocation).

I’ve discovered some LA policy docs but not the important criteria and process so I can’t tell.

Can I get an independent soc care assessment if I choose and appeal that to SENDIST?

I believe SENDIST can’t order an actual assessment? Also, for the non-ed bits of any assessment so the remainder of any care plan. How do you enforce that against the LA?

As I understand it only the parts from the soc care assessment that ‘educate and train’ go in the EHCP and not the entire care plan which may have non educational provision too.

Have I got this correct? I’ve been reading lots and understand more but am still a bit confused.

Thanks

You can only ask SENDIST to consider social care provision if you are also appealing educational matters e.g. BFI, refusal to reassess etc. You can’t just appeal the social care provision.

Anything that educates or trains is special educational provision and should be in F - SENDIST can order this. Other social care provision related to DC’s SEN should be in H - SENDIST make recommendations for this which aren’t legally binding but the LA is expected to follow them, if they don’t must write to the Tribunal and parents within 5 weeks explaining why, and depending on specifics it may be possible to complain to the LGO or look at JR.

I have known SENDIST order social care assessments.

@ThomasWasTortured
Thanks.

I’m still in the process of attempting to get under the CwD team as a first hurdle.

I get mixed up between what’s soc care and what’s educational provision. For example, if a social care assessment decides there’s a need for respite and PfA provision and they could make that provision to meet those needs by PT boarding at school. Which section does that go in on an EHCP It’s access to a waking day curriculum (education and training) but it’s also respite (social care).

I get really mixed up by PfA stuff as most examples of stuff under this all seem to involve an element of education and training so would be in B and F although they’ve been uncovered by a soc care assessment.

I’ve probably answered my own question about why CwD team are difficult to access. Probably because proper assessment by CwD team and such things like access to proper respite/PfA support can get expensive.

PfA provision educates or trains therefore it should be in F. It is the same with what many consider health provision e.g. SALT, OT, they may seem like it is health provision but (mostly) educate or train therefore should be in F.

Sometimes section F provision will actually be funded by health or social care even though it is ultimately under special educational provision, but it is important for it to still be in F so that it is enforceable if necessary.

DS1 has physio in F and at the tripartite panel there was a 3 way funding disagreement.

Yes, good, comprehensive support can be very expensive. In the long run though it can save the state money by increasing independence thus reducing the level of care needed over a lifetime. Sadly, LAs, their policies and budgets are often too short sighted to fully appreciate that.

@ThomasWasTortured
Ah, thank you. I’m understanding it now a lot more. That’s why the EHCP is supposed to be a fully comprehensive document.

I understand more about the funding sources now.

Do they transfer from children’s social care service to adult social care at 16?

Social care and the legislation governing it legally changes at 18, but transition should begin before then. Some LAs have a specific transition team that straddles the services.