Does this sound like Autism

[Ron08]

Hi all.
I was wondering if this sounds at like Autism. My boy has just turned 3 and a half.
Health visitors have done 3 SOGS and Mchat in him over last 2 years and he always passed it. I just think he has some traits.

Obsessed with washing machine will talk to anyone about them love to play with his pretend one and will ask anyone he sees if they have one even if he already knows the answer and he will talk about it multiple times even if he’s already told them. He absolutely loves his little tykes one and will put a load on and pace back and forth until it beeps. He will play with it about 40% of time the rest of the time he does play with a lot of other toys functionally. The only thing I’ve noticed is in pretend play he doesn’t make the character talk to eachother he kind of narrates.

He went through a phase of side glancing when spinning and without spinning too but that seems to have stopped.

His speech is really good used pronouns, tenses correctly and has good vocabulary. He will sometimes ask questions he already knows the answers to ( not sure if that’s reassurance). Will talk to literally anyone for ages! Will use phrases he’s heard but in play so not sure if that’s imitation or scripting apart from the last week we’ve been having lots of repeating, at the minute he says poo and wee over and over and laughs his head off and finds it really hard to stop but we aren’t sure if this is just him trying to wind us up 😂 as the more we say quiet time now or noises all finished now he does it more. Makes noises a lot like vocal stimming sounds like a hoover. He does pretend to be a car sometimes so that is sometimes the noise. He doesn’t ask why questions yet. Only gestures he Doesn’t used nodding or shaking head. He can’t copy facial expressions but does use them all for correct situations.

If I wear my hair up he tells me to put it down. He will look at people’s hair especially girls in fascination.

He is very active, loves outdoor play. High energy levels at times but does have quiet times.

For the last two weeks his listening has declined and he will run off and not do as he’s told which is unusual for him- however it is the Easter break so could be that!

Nursery teachers aren’t concerned but have said how much he loves washing machines and they said Sometimes he can appear slightly vacant if you ask him to do something and the command needs repeating but not sure if that’s because he is still settling in to full class of pupils they said he plays along with others and enjoys snack time though. She said he plays alongside peers which is typical for his age. He fits in with routine of the nursery setting and enjoys snack.

Sleeps 12 hours a night
No food sensitivity
Can break routine and accepts changes
No rituals as such
Met milestones
Uses eye contact appropriately and has good joint attention.
Interested in other people and will ask things like Mummy what are you going to have for lunch? Nanny you look nice today.

Thanks for reading.

Hello @Worriedmum166 and @Ron08 happy new year to you both!

Thanks so much for responding to me. I honestly don't know how I feel or what is best to do. I guess I have always been a bit worried about him as he is so different to my eldest who is definitely NT. I have always found him to be a bit 'high maintenance' lol but at the same time, he is the sweetest, loving and most adorable boy too.

His 2 year review was delayed so wasn't don't until he was nearly 2.5 years and from what I remember, he was close to borderline on the questionnaire for the social bit but HV said he was discharged and to come back if I had any concerns. At the same time, nursery said he was on the radar for needing more support as he wasn't really talking and not playing with the other children. I was really surprised at this as I thought his speech was good and he has always played with us and his brother. But I then noticed that he was maybe copying what his brother said but I thought that was how they learned! Anyway, once he went back after the summer hols, they said he was like a different child and that he was speaking and playing with others so they were no longer concerned.

He is quite strong willed and definitely has tantrums if he sometimes doesnt get his own way but they are short lived and from what I have read, I don't think they are meltdowns. He loves trains and cars etc and will always choose to play with them but again, I don't think he is obsessed?

But I am still worried. I think he still does copy speech from me and his brother (not from tv although he does watch it too much 🤦‍♀️) and I am not sure about his play. He would never initiate play unless with his brother but he does join in if asked and he is feeling comfortable. Although through reading, i am now wondering if this is because he is watching and the copying their behaviour.

He also hand flaps when he is excited or upset. Only a little but it is definitely there. I mentioned it to the HV previously but she wasn't concerned. He has always done it though and is nearly three so this also worries me. I also genuinely can't remember if he ever pointed when he was younger. He does it now but no idea when he started and this also stresses me out 😩I am pretty sure he has always responded to his name though.

I am so glad that your boys are doing ok. Honestly, I resonated with your posts so much so it is lovely to see that they are doing well. I have tried to make it my resolution to not worry as much but I think I have my own issues with anxiety.

Sorry for the essay but I think it is probably the first time I have written this all down. I am going to call the HV tomorrow but at the same time, I don't want to put him through anything unnecessary or waste anyone's time. Either way, it changes nothing for me. He is my gorgeous boy and I love him more than anything but I am so aware of how long waiting lists are currently and I just don't want him to struggle x

Hello strangers, sorry for going awol for so long, and just to manage expectations it may well happen again 😳 I’m not very good at keeping up with WhatsApp’s and messages etc and dither over whether mumsnet is the world for me but I finally logged back in and couldn’t not reply to these aching heart messages.

I just wanted to say that you and your children all sound beautiful 😍 and each of you unique. I know it’s so easy to compare one N.D child to another, and to the (mythical?!?) NT children out there... (yes, I’m starting to wonder if the world is just one big melting pot of brain types and ASD/ADHD only scratches the surface… but that is NOT to negate the extra challenges felt by ASD children and it is NOT the same as “all children mess about when it’s time to bush their teeth”. Not everyone is on the spectrum; recognition and care plans do matter.) …

BUT it’s not what other children have/see/feel/do that matters - it’s your child’s needs, and there’s not a simple diagnostic tool for autism sorry, it can look completely different from one child, or sibling, to the next - believe me, I have 3 and can write a very different list for each! Although only my oldest is struggling, more so even than when I first posted, but we have had an OT assessment now and awaiting a report and a plan, my middle is more ADHD but the happy go lucky type who loves school, makes friends easily but has strict food rules, hates trousers, and doesn’t know if it’s today tomorrow or yesterday 😅 and my littlest still puts everything in her mouth at 3 nearly 4 (including brothers 👹) and is so literal in life and play - we’ll just have to see how she goes as she grows!

So my oldest was in that maybe/maybe not zone at 3 or 4yrs, and I’d just say trust your gut. And if there is the option to begin any sort of diagnosis/care plan pathway jump on it as soon as you can, whenever or however that may be. Even if it’s just writing it down or taking some candid videos at the minute, or saving emails between you and nursery - it could help build a clearer picture down the line. And plenty of ND children slip under the radar and don’t need more support, and that is surely a win, but being able to cope isn’t the same as not being ND, and there’s no harm in knowing/having a backup plan that just might make things smoother in the future if things get a bit more challenging for your little superstars.

Just to fill in the blanks, my oldest is struggling with going in to school at the minute, ‘just because’ it seems but it takes a lot, and makes life tricky in the evenings too. He’s also a delightful, clever, funny and playful boy. He doesn’t have one special interest though space/Lego/water/now Minecraft all feature strongly. He likes science so had a super 10/10 science lesson today, but the whole day ranked as 5 because he had to go to school to do it, he’s no desire to go in tomorrow, and he couldn’t bring himself to get in the pool at his swimming lesson this evening. But school are very supportive, they see that we are trying, and the OT will hopefully send guidance soon, and we take each day as it comes. And I’m glad I finally sent the referral form off last year, and hope an assessment might come before secondary school in case he needs further support there.

Phew, long one sorry! Xx