I'm doing another interview about DS and testing

[Thomcat]

So pleased to have the opportunity and that the press are doing their bit to get positive articles etc out there.

I'm full of things to say, positively brimming over but once again I thought I would share with you the opportunity to get a point across that you feel really strongly about. I'll do my best to work it into what I have planned to say about it all but bear in mind that i am unhappy about teting for DS and terminations being offered as though DS was the worst thing your child could ever be born with.

It'll also be about my preganncy, my feelings on having a child with DS etc but will feature heavily about the whole testing debate.

Thomcat, very, very glad I didn't annoy you or make you cross - I was quite worried about that. I'm sure I'm expressing myself clumsily, but I just thought that if you are addressing people's fears (rational or irrational) - and of course, you will be talking to people who in the main do not have a child with DS and who may be considering testing leading to termination - it might help in some ways to see that sometimes (often?) those fears aren't anything to do with a horror of the syndrome or the children with it, but a fear of not being a good enough parent for long enough for your child. And if you could talk about that and how you can deal with that fear (which is obviously very different when you have a much-loved child and you actively want to be part of their lives forever) you might assuage those fears. I'm certainly not thinking you will argue in favour of termination for DS!!! But perhaps if people felt more confident that their child would be supported in adulthood and it wouldn't all be down to them, or understood that in reality this fear of lifelong care feels quite different when you actually have a child with a disability, they would feel more confident in not testing/terminating? If, for example, there was more semi-sheltered accommodation and more support for independent education and living for people with every possible kind of disability. I do wonder if integration of disability in mainstream nurseries and schools will also help, as it easy to be afraid of the unknown, but rather less easy to be afraid of having a child like, say, the utterly yummy Lottie. Again, I do hope this doesn't offend anyone. And yes, there is a huge amount of ignorance out there about every possible kind of disability - as I discovered when a roomful of intelligent young female journalists told me about how they thought austism was particularly awful because austistic children had no feelings and couldn't show love or affection etc.

TC, you know my feelings on this issue too. Best of luck with the interview and very much looking forward to reading it and agreeing with every word.

Anyway Thomcat, I am sure that you will be wonderfully eloquent, and just the way you talk about the sheer joy that Lottie gives you will make many people reconsider their views not just about testing and termination, but about DS in general. And that can only ever be a very good thing.

And, um, I DO know how to spell autism. Sorry.

Interview seemed to go well. Journo asked me things like what did friends say when you told them, and I said not that much really, I mean what is there to say, she has DS, she's not dying, it's not a terrible terminal illness or a contagios, awful disease! At the end of the day I have a perfectly healthy and perfectly wonderful daughter. She asked - Do you worry about the future? Ans - errr, no not really, no more than I would with a NT child, Lottie will most likey live a semi-independent life and I'll go through what every parent of a young woman goes through as she grows, in many ways I should have less to worry about! Anyway, thankfully she was totally understanding and had the same views on testing etc as me. Her son has dyspraxia actually so she could relate to some of my feelings. I feel confident that she will get my points across. We were on the phone for over an hour and she seemed really nice.

I can only hope that it dispells some of the fears and outdated worries that people have about Down's syndrome. The more articles the better.

Sounds like the public could do with being educated about autism as well tbh. Perhaps that's something you could suggest jakbrown and Aloha, or anyone else with a finger in the journalism pie.

Sounds like it went well TC. Agree, more stuff needed about autism. I just need to get out of my ranting stage to write something coherent.
I'm sure it will happen soon!

Glad the interview went well, TC. Yes, I thinkit would be good if people could see beyond the myths of autism. I actually thought about the "show no affection" comment today when ds2 insisted on kissing me on the chin today - while his little nose was dripping. Not the most pleasant kiss I've ever had but I take them when I can get 'em.

Absolutely CT! Bless him. DD opens her mouth as if to launch into a bite when attempting a kiss
ps sometimes she does bite, but we don't mind

Well I look forward to reading an article, written by approx 5 parents of children with autism, learning more myself and then sticking that copy in front of the nose of everyone I know and helping to dispell a few myths.

Right, you're on...
Aloha, who shall we pitch it to?

TC, been thinking about this overnight. Think it's a brilliant idea. Think it would be a really valuable feature showing just how different children on the autistic spectrum are. Just look at the children with autism on this SN board!

Glad it went well TC and the autism article sounds brill too. Go girls!

i think it's terribly important, I've learnt so much on this board and feel lucky in that. I think that the majority of the populkation have their own, misinformed view of autism, mainly that of Dustin Hoffman in the rainman I think !! Even if only a handful of people go away and think 'blimey, I never knew that', which they will, I think that's great.

You've got your interview subjects right here on mumsnet, if they're up for it.

I could give you a 2-for-1 offer on my two little monkeys.

I am glad it went well Thomcat! I met Dingles dd on friday and she is just the most smashing little kid, it makes my heart ache to think people would not want her here iykwim Sorry dingle to use her as an example. But she is so bright and clever and she really knew alot more than my ds about letters and alphabet and stuff. i think she is an amazing child with such a great spirit, she really made me giggle and I really enjoyed meeting her. She is fab, sorry if it offends you that i have used her as an example but I hope you know what i mean. My dd is severly learning disabled but she is a gorgeous child, has a lovely nature (I jknow I am biased) but she is not suffering at all she is just slow

i am waffling

Thomcat - do let us all know when the piece is printed won't you.

Yes, TC, and will definitely get on to pitching that idea. If it comes off, we can donate the fee! And give a fee to mumsnet!

Santa Fio, how could I be offended by that! That you for your comment about my dd. I thinks she's lovely, but then I am rather biased!
My life has changed completely because of her but I am sure that I can say,hand on heart, that it has changed for the better.
We have our ups and downs but what family doesn't. I would like to think that she has made me grow as a person.I am much more inderstanding of not only DS but hopefully diability in general. Surely that can only be a good thing?

I am so glad i didnt offend, I thought I may be over stepping the mark she is gorgeous though, a real little madam

Thomcat you are fab