I am quite new to Mumsnet...

[rivers]

and have not often posted on this board but I just really needed to vent and I guessed you would understand most! My DD was born at 26 weeks and has many physical problems which mean she cannot talk at all and due to a food phobia che is completely tube fed despite all these difficulties she is meeting all her other milestones. She is now 3 1/2yrs old and I was hoping I had finally come to terms with everything but for the last few weeks I have been feeling so fed up. She has just started nursery which has gone really well but we are now in the process of statementing for her to attend a miainstream school in Sep.05 and I think all the forms I have been filling in has really brought it home to me how many difficulties she faces and I just feel so down that I cannot change that for her or protect her from that. I really am sorry for such a miserable post but have just spent the last hour filling out forms re. her feeding and have realised how little progress we have made in that area in the last three years! Thank you very much for reading this!

I really couldn't agree more with all of your posts and I really am so grateful for you making them. I hadn't really thought about the fact that we are really in a transition phrase and looking back I have realised that is when I usually do get down over things. Unfortunately I do not know anyone in my area with a child with SN and I think that is why I feel so isolated.\Davros - I totally get what you are saying about difficulty in accepting change and sometimes small changes are the hardest. Dingle - You have helped a lot and I really understand being on a downer and just waiting for the next wave of motivation! Jakbrown - Hope everything goes well with getting your DD into school. Amazing that aprt from when in hospital with my DD that this is the first time that I have really talked to people in similar situation to me and it really does help.

Welcome rivers... you've come to the right place to talk. I am trying to get on here more often but there are heaps of mums here who post a lot. I've not had to get my son statemented (its a different procedure in Scotland). In fact he's just in an ordinary mainstream although is autistic and has special support.

Have done forms though and it is so depressing but once they are done and dusted then you can start looking at the positives again.

Hi rivers. Im new to this to but just wanted to say that it is so worthwhile filling in all forms and getting the statement process started. I have ds aged 4. He is in mainstream nursery with 1 to 1 support for the second year. It has been absolutely fantastic. He is due to start at special school in a few weeks for 2 days a week and 3 days at mainstream which he loves. Its all very daunting but you only have to take one look at how happy he is and you realise that it is all worth the worry. I dont have many down times because i view it that I was given my son for a reason and he is absolutely the whole reason for being here and such a delight (he has cp and doesnt walk or sit and has limited speech although understands everything). Good luck with forms

Oh Rivers
I think you have to allow yourself to feel low about it once in a while babes, it's natural and healthy and can help heal as well.

I have always been very accepting and at peace with Lottie's special needs, however deep down there has always quietly bubbled a little stream of pain and worry. I kept it a stream and stoped it turning into a river by usually always being able to find a positive, if not 2,3 or 4, to every negative. Lottie is the most delightful, truly wonderful little girl, as I'm sure your daughter is, so it's easy to be happy and let their light shine onto you and smile down at them most of the time right?

Not long ago, I posted about it on this section, called 'I had the most amazing day and my head is in a spin' where i really think something else clicked and dried up that stream to the smallest trickle. Lottie fell asleep in my arms while I was on the tube and after a wonderful day out with her, I was just staring at her face and could really see the characteristics of Down's syndrome in her. I don't usually see or notice them but suddenly there they were and rather than feel a pang of sadness i just thought, 'wow look at you, you're amazing and you're all mine and you've got Down's syndrome and i'm so lucky' and it was really a mad and magical moment. Lottie is 3 now as well by the way, or will be on 17 Dec. Anyway just felt it right to share that with you.

TC xx

Thanks for your post Thomcat, I agree very much with what you wrote and I do really try to accept all my dd needs and most of the time I never really think about them but then you just get those weeks! Thankfully I feel so much better now and lot more positive! Thank you again for your post.

rivers- ds1 is 5 and a half and severely autistic. Most of the time I'm (kind of) OK with that- but there are times when I get very low. Form filling is one of them- as is attending meetings. I'm OK whislt the meetings and form filling is going on, but the week after I always feel very low and retreat a bit. I recognise the feeling now and wait it out- it passes.

Yes, I'm amazed at how those feelings DO pass and you come out the other side into a more positive phase.

We're all allowed 'one of those weeks' Rivers, it's natural and healing and healthy. Hope you feel better and that the gap between 'one of those weeks' gets bigger and bigger each time. xx