Does ASD assessment take account of differing presentation in girls?

[Whatafustercluck]

4yo dd is undiagnosed and we're considering next steps. We're worried that she doesn't present as 'autistic enough' iyswim? No presentation of symptoms at school, classic masking, she's quite the extravert so doesn't fit the mould. But we're increasingly finding some of her SPD behaviours quite debilitating, and she can flip out on the turn of a coin with a moment's notice. Lots of problems with transition, lots of demand avoidance etc but none of it happens at school. GP won't refer, stating she's too young.

I have zero experience/ knowledge of the referral process and what we can expect from assessment. My concern is whether modern assessment takes account of how ASD can present very differently in girls. We are lost and don't feel we have the skills to support her well enough to thrive. This afternoon she travelled back from my parents in my car without a seatbelt on and she had removed her jumped and top because of sensory problems (despite having previously been fine wearing them). I desperately want to be able to help her, and feel like I'm letting her down because nothing seems to work. I have a private GP appointment with a female GP on Sunday, but not sure what to expect from here.

Thanks for reading.

My daughters assessment is via the nhs but has been out sourced to a private company. Looking on the website it looks like it costs £2000 but as they are doing nhs cases too it means that the private assessments they do, do get accepted by our la too, if you see what I mean.

I think the company have offices in a few different areas, I’m happy to pm the co o any if that helps.

@Lolly2803 London is a fairly quick train journey from here into King's Cross so not averse to considering.

Thanks also @Mrsrosetta that would be great.

My dd age 10 was privately assessed by LEAD in London and she was diagnosed with ASD and presents very much in a “girl” way - you’d never know she had it, she masks well, she is imaginative and empathetic. So I think people are becoming more and more aware of how girls present differently. Sorry that your daughter’s school isn’t being cooperative, that is frustrating.

@Whatafustercluck - Have you considered ADHD also? There is a lot of overlap, including sensory issues

@IggleyP yes I've wondered about that too, it's one of the reasons I don't want to go down the Lorna Wing Centre route as they specialise in diagnosing ASD but it could be something else.

She's like Jeckll and Hyde, it's really bizarre. This morning she woke up all smiles, I went downstairs with her, switched TV on and she began asking me something. I couldn't quite understand what she meant, so she called me a stupid dumb idiot, told me she hated me and that she hated last night (we had a bonfire with the neighbours, which she really enjoyed and didn't want to go to bed!)

Literally no idea

She also called me a 'bully' when she threw the remote control across the room and I simply switched tv off without saying a word and put the remote away.