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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

ABA - Child Autism UK/UK YAP/Autism Partnership or Small Steps

53 replies

Elif100 · 09/07/2021 16:06

Hi,

My DD who is almost 4 is on the pathway to being Dx with ASD. We've been a hard journey this year coming to terms with this reality as we have been in denial for some time. We've reached the point now where we have a great preschool place organised for Sept entry who are organising some 1-1 ISEY funded hours. However we dont believe this will help her sufficiently in areas she is finding challenging. She was almost non-verbal last year and has now been using single words confidently, using short phrases and does generally imitate quite well. This is all amazing progress for us, however she still has many sensory challenges which affect her daily life and she is still wearing pull-up and have alot of echolalic speech. We've been looking at the option of doing a home ABA programme and I have been in contact with Child Autism UK/UK YAP/Autism Partnership and Small Steps. Thankfully they do offer the kind of home program we are looking for but nearly all suggest that my daughter should have minimal attendance at preschool. For various reasons, this isnt going to be possible, we will need her to attend for 5 mornings in september. Soo, my question is: has anyone worked with or would recommend any of the providers named above? and has anyone run part-time ABA programme with good results? Any advice would be appreciated. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading x

OP posts:
debbiewest0 · 22/07/2021 21:57

I haven’t tried snorting cocaine but I know it’s bad. How ridiculous that you can only give an opinion if you’ve done something. I wouldn’t want to do ABA for my children as I’ve researched it, seen sessions, read the disgusting language used by its inventor and spoken to autistic adults subjected to it as a child who still struggle to get over their ptsd.

debbiewest0 · 22/07/2021 21:58

And yes, I exactly meant that we don’t need trophies,stickers, certificates or anything in any education system.

spikeyfish · 22/07/2021 22:04

To be honest having read your posts I don't believe you actually understand what ABA is. Salt does not encourage autistic individuals to surpress aspects of themselves to conform to social neurotypical norms. For example teaching them to surpress stims which are an exceptionally important coping mechanism. Salt is used to help those with communication difficulties to communicate in whatever form they can, whether that be speech or an alternative communication method. You seem to believe that ABA and salt are the same because of positive reinforcement, this highlights your lack of understanding around the aims of the two.

Elif100 · 22/07/2021 22:14

Hi,

Thanks to those who have taken the time to reply to the ACTUAL question posed on the thread, much appreciated. I am leaning towards using UKYAP but to run a home-programme largely by myself and family members on a part-time basis. You are right, Scratchybaby, in that UKYAP do seem to be suggesting a full timetable of ABA over sending to preschool would reap the most positive change in children but I spoke to one of their consultants who did understand the need we have for our dd to also attend preschool for some of the time, especially as we are in the process of applying for an EHCP for her...and all the evidence building that comes with wont be easy without her attendance. Of course we also hold hope that ABA will improve the areas that she finds challenging and maybe who knows she may not need an EHC. It's just heartbreaking to see my DD wanting to make connections and participate in social life but struggling to know how to. I feel so hopeful and confident in what ABA could do for her and her future. To me it is alien that a parent wouldn't want to help their child progress in life and society, its all well being idealistic and aiming for an utopian idealistic world but lets be realistic, everyone is a product of their environment to a degree, we are all conditioned through positive and negative reinforcement in most aspects of ours lives whether we are conscious of it or not, adverts/social media likes/social pressure/social rules/being paid to work!/rewarding ourselves with a cheat meal when dieting - its all about reinforcing behaviours!

@debbiewest0 I am not sneering or being rude about an alternative opinion - a budget report by a US govt dept seeking to making savings and cutting ABA has no relevance to my question if you cared to read. And I am certainly not the one making extremely rude and defamatory comments to parents looking to ultimately help their child learn very basic life skills to help them have a foundation to build on and to learn to adapt to the best of their ability and potential so that they can be as free and independent as they can be in their lives - to me that sounds like the opposite of 'grooming' - we want our children to be able to be their best and to not need to hold onto us unnecessarily as they grow. Though I have not formally started an ABA programme, we have recently been toilet training my almost 4 year old daughter by using positive reinforcement in the form of giving recognition e.g a high five/a big well done and cheer and clap and telling her how great she is doing - is that really considered grooming?! WOW!
Perhaps you harbour ill feelings towards ABA through ignorance and not making the effort in doing what you can to help your own child? It's up-to you what your own conscience can deal with but please don't offer your uninformed opinion on here when nobody was asking for it.

OP posts:
Elif100 · 22/07/2021 22:19

@R0098

Hi *@Elif100* DD is coming up to 3 and we do part time ABA. Seeing lots of progress and I’m really happy with it. We do strategies at home so it’s just become part of life now. I have always wanted to be cautious as I know it’s controversial, but my dd honestly enjoys her sessions and she’s always really pleased with herself afterSmile Good luck with everything.
Hi@R0098

That's really amazing to hear, thanks for sharing Flowers

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Elif100 · 22/07/2021 22:23

@StarlightMcKenzee

Good luck with the ABA. Best thing I ever did, especially learning about it myself (As couldn't afford much expert input). Have so many skills that have been invaluable and essentially DS is now 14, far exceeded his trajectory and shares many of the ABA strategies he has learned during this time with his best friend who is autistic and needs help that my son has the skills to teach which enables them both to be independent and share experiences together.
HI @StarlightMcKenzee

That is such a great thing to hear and im so pleased its worked so well for you and your DS. I am so hopeful that ABA will enable us to battle through all the low expectations that seem to be placed on my DD at such a young age especially when we as parents can see and know how much our amazing kids are truly capable of given the right sort of support.

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debbiewest0 · 22/07/2021 22:35

I did exactly what I needed to bring up my child. She’s been given Love, acceptance, SALT, had an ehcp, gained all her qualifications and is currently an apprentice. A long journey but All without ABA.

I will do exactly the same for my other child. Both autistic, both differing needs, both do not need to be forced to change.

If your child is struggling to communicate or socialise, change what you’re doing, not her!
And It’s not an uninformed opinion when I’ve spent hours researching something. I live with autistic adults and children, work with them, have autistic friends, read extensively and listen to autistic adults. Try it sometime!
I think perhaps you’re arguments for training your child to hide her true self show your own guilt. I have none 😊 as my daughters are awesome and it’s not a heartbreaking diagnosis.

I wish your child all the best and hope you’ll find her a good therapist for her twenties.

debbiewest0 · 22/07/2021 22:36

*your. Silly Autocorrect

Elif100 · 22/07/2021 22:42

If you're so content with the job you have done, I wonder why you're always lurking like a bad smell on this thread :)

Good luck to your children for having such a self-righteous know-it-all mother, you must be a real pleasure in real-life. Dont worry about my kid, spend a bit more time being productive in looking out for yours dear.

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BackforGood · 22/07/2021 22:56

Setting aside anyone's opinions on ABA, I am somewhat concerned about your assumption with this

That's a good idea re: sending a tutor into the nursery setting, the one thing I worry about is my DD not actually learning much while she is there but more being 'managed' so having a guide to help her in a peer based setting will be great, I believe.

Have you discussed this with your child's Nursery ?

ABA is at complete odds with the EYFS, which all Nurseries will be following. There is absolutely no guarantee that the Nursery your dc has a place at will let an adult into their Nursery at your behest.

Oh, and ABA is nothing like SaLT advice.

Voice0fReason · 22/07/2021 23:05

@debbiewest0

Actually, you joke about it rudely but there are many books and research on removing all the ticks, stickers, positive praise that are used at school- they are not good systems for any kids, just doing something for a sticker? That’s not a great system

. The OP seems to be sneering at any alternative thoughts/ advice given - that is a shame.
SALT and ABA are not run the same way, ABA is based on grooming and pairing a child with an adult so that then they will become compliant to do whatever the adult wishes. I wouldn’t wish to be teaching my autistic daughters to be compliant like that. I wouldn’t wish to use ABA as it’s like dog training. And why the hell should an autistic child be taught to pretend to be neurotypical? How sad not to just let people be who they are.....

Yes - every word of this!

Wouldn't touch ABA with a bargepole.
I wanted my sons to be comfortable with who they are and understand their own needs so they are able to advocate for themselves.
Ditching all the reward systems was one of the best decisions I made. Any therapy that relies on rewards is flawed.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/07/2021 23:17

If you want to change your child then avoid ABA. ABA teaches skills to them ti be whi they are, make choices and advicate fir themselves. Alternatives that occur in most classrooms are poor quality theoretical rather than data-driven strategies based on assumptions about a child’s needs and capabilities based on their diagnosis rather than individual interests and motivations. My son has developed some of his special interests into possible employment opportunities, and if not into skills he can use to gain peer respect without having to be especially good at social interaction. He is entirely comfortable with his diagnosis as though it frustrates him at times his ABA was centred on positive reinforcement and he generally feels good about himself and his achievements, in fact when things fall apart around him that send his NT peers into meltdown he is often the one with the skills to get through the crisis unscathed.

And SALT is totally variable but ABA is very similar to Hanen the gold standard in Canada and increasingly used in the U.K. the difference being that though techniques are pretty much the same, the data required fir ABA ensure the child is engaged and interested and the pace of learning is optimal.

StarlightMcKenzee · 22/07/2021 23:25

I must say though that this thread is a bit odd. It is like a poster asking for breastfeeding support and a bunch of people who didn’t breastfeed wading in and telling the OP that they shouldn’t bother abd bottle feeding fine.

Sure it is. And parents make their own decisions with in their context and children’s needs. But nowhere did the OP say ‘hit me with the pros and cons of ABA!’ They are asking ‘how’ not ‘whether’. If you are a SEND parent and utterly incapable of supporting another SEND parent with their specified difficulty for whatever reason, maybe just don’t post. There is enough tension in the SEND workd as it is.

R0098 · 22/07/2021 23:32

@BackforGood

Setting aside anyone's opinions on ABA, I am somewhat concerned about your assumption with this

That's a good idea re: sending a tutor into the nursery setting, the one thing I worry about is my DD not actually learning much while she is there but more being 'managed' so having a guide to help her in a peer based setting will be great, I believe.

Have you discussed this with your child's Nursery ?

ABA is at complete odds with the EYFS, which all Nurseries will be following. There is absolutely no guarantee that the Nursery your dc has a place at will let an adult into their Nursery at your behest.

Oh, and ABA is nothing like SaLT advice.

My DD’s ABA tutor does go into nursery and it’s great because it allows her to have more 121 time in the nursery environment. Her tutor has helped her progress with her socialising skills and it’s lovely to see. Not all ABA tutors are the same, my dd never has to suppress her stims and they are encouraging of her special interests. There are great ABA professionals out there - like any industry some are going to be better than others. Also I find them to be on a similar page to the EYFS.
Elif100 · 22/07/2021 23:34

Thanks @StarlightMcKenzee

I suppose some people always have to justify why they did not do something themselves by making others feel bad about it. Funnily enough all those who have actually tried ABA and replied on here had nothing but good things to say and those without any direct experience of it seem to know better ..very interesting.

OP posts:
R0098 · 22/07/2021 23:34

Apologies @Elif100 that your thread has turned into an ABA yes/no discussion

Elif100 · 22/07/2021 23:41

@R0098 Another positive story, thank you!
That sounds great and it's exactly what I am hoping will be allowed for my dd, so far the preschool have been supportive as they are aware of how helping our kids learn in a way that will help give them those foundational skills which can be so easily taken for granted in the NT world of EYFS etc. My DD also responds very well from 1-1 time in ed settings but currently they don't always know 'how' to help her flourish, which is where i am confident an ABA tutor will help :)

@BackforGood Please take your 'concern' elsewhere, thanks. Some SALTs are incorporating ABA into their practice, I did not state all SALTS use ABA but those who do work with kids on the spectrum are increasingly seeing the benefits of its methodology.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 22/07/2021 23:56

Okay, just trying to help.

I know of three Nurseries who have had ABA workers in and dozens who won't, so I was just trying to let you know it might be a barrier.

How are you getting that folks that aren't keen on ABA "have no direct experience of it" ? Confused

edinmom · 23/07/2021 08:48

Hi @Elif100, we started doing part-time individualised ABA based therapy at home for my lovely 7 year old this year and have already seen loads of benefits. I would say there are both pros and cons and I will try and explain it! His development profile at 4 was a bit similiar to your child. We had been doing Speech therapy, PRT and also followed Hanen , and he was getting 10 hours 1:1 at nursery but it wasn't being very beneficial tbh. He had an impressive vocabulary gained through books, nursery rhymes and videos but his functional communication was near non-verbal and would only use single words to request. He was also a fussy eater and wasn't fully toilet trained. Around 5 years of age, we started sensory integration therapy and also modified his diet a bit after doing assessments and started seeing loads of genuine progress. Then we met with an ABA therapist who was running a social skills club when he was around 6 and that's how we eventually got introduced to it properly. Now the pros first - we have met some absolutely wonderful ABA based therapists who totally get my child and use all kinds of multi-sensory approaches and intrinsic motivation to help him gain language as well work on other areas (like his eating which has improved really well last year following some strategies). The therapists worked with me and adapted the programme to allow for my little one's sensory processing profile - which I think made a massive difference to how 'happy' my child is during the sessions and also enabled him to advocate for himself when he needs a break or wants to do something different (there is absolutely no 'compliance' based therapy going on here as one of the posters above as mentioned) - respect for him as an individual is absolutely a non-negotiable factor in any support we try to get for him. In fact, like you say, most of his life he also has had very low expectations placed on him especially at school and by the initial SALT therapists that we'd had. With his current SALT and ABA therapist - we do a combined programme now incorporating elements from both and using strategies from both - we never have that issue at least - they believe in his potential. Now the cons - it took us some time to find the happy place that we have now as his therapists needed time to understand his sensory processing challenges, and I needed some time to understand the ABA techniques. If its not tailored to the child, it can see it ending up being really demotivating - I had to part ways with one of the home therapists because I wouldn't agree on his 'verbal stimming' as being a behaviour to be changed - and also I wouldn't agree on sticking to scripts because I could see sometimes my little one would have said or communicated something but instead of acknowledging it or respecting it, she would be waiting for him to say the thing in her script and she was missing to see how that confused him, which definitely wasn't the right way and very soon we parted ways. But our current therapist is a gem, and genuinely doing part-time ABA along with other therapies / activities (such as SALT, Sensory Integration therapy, working on non-verbal problem solving, forest club, social skills club etc) is working out well so far. 1:1 support in school is the next thing I hope we can get him just like yourself! Anyways, hope this helps and All the very best!

Rosebud100 · 23/07/2021 20:41

We are running a home and now a nursery programme for my 3 year old and seeing good results. We have only recently started the nursery part but it's making such a difference. We are currently applying for an echp and the nursery section makes heartbreaking reading, it sounds like my son plays alone all day and doesn't interact with anyone at all - but at home and with his aba tutors this is not the case, and now he has some support from tutors who know what they are doing he is accessing much more play and group activities when they are there.
Our nursery (curiosity approach, all child led) have been very welcoming to us doing aba there. As a sceptic I guess it makes their lives easier too.
Would definitely recommend a home and nursery programme as they can address different skills but also generalise home based skills.

Elif100 · 23/07/2021 22:25

@edinmom

Hi *@Elif100*, we started doing part-time individualised ABA based therapy at home for my lovely 7 year old this year and have already seen loads of benefits. I would say there are both pros and cons and I will try and explain it! His development profile at 4 was a bit similiar to your child. We had been doing Speech therapy, PRT and also followed Hanen , and he was getting 10 hours 1:1 at nursery but it wasn't being very beneficial tbh. He had an impressive vocabulary gained through books, nursery rhymes and videos but his functional communication was near non-verbal and would only use single words to request. He was also a fussy eater and wasn't fully toilet trained. Around 5 years of age, we started sensory integration therapy and also modified his diet a bit after doing assessments and started seeing loads of genuine progress. Then we met with an ABA therapist who was running a social skills club when he was around 6 and that's how we eventually got introduced to it properly. Now the pros first - we have met some absolutely wonderful ABA based therapists who totally get my child and use all kinds of multi-sensory approaches and intrinsic motivation to help him gain language as well work on other areas (like his eating which has improved really well last year following some strategies). The therapists worked with me and adapted the programme to allow for my little one's sensory processing profile - which I think made a massive difference to how 'happy' my child is during the sessions and also enabled him to advocate for himself when he needs a break or wants to do something different (there is absolutely no 'compliance' based therapy going on here as one of the posters above as mentioned) - respect for him as an individual is absolutely a non-negotiable factor in any support we try to get for him. In fact, like you say, most of his life he also has had very low expectations placed on him especially at school and by the initial SALT therapists that we'd had. With his current SALT and ABA therapist - we do a combined programme now incorporating elements from both and using strategies from both - we never have that issue at least - they believe in his potential. Now the cons - it took us some time to find the happy place that we have now as his therapists needed time to understand his sensory processing challenges, and I needed some time to understand the ABA techniques. If its not tailored to the child, it can see it ending up being really demotivating - I had to part ways with one of the home therapists because I wouldn't agree on his 'verbal stimming' as being a behaviour to be changed - and also I wouldn't agree on sticking to scripts because I could see sometimes my little one would have said or communicated something but instead of acknowledging it or respecting it, she would be waiting for him to say the thing in her script and she was missing to see how that confused him, which definitely wasn't the right way and very soon we parted ways. But our current therapist is a gem, and genuinely doing part-time ABA along with other therapies / activities (such as SALT, Sensory Integration therapy, working on non-verbal problem solving, forest club, social skills club etc) is working out well so far. 1:1 support in school is the next thing I hope we can get him just like yourself! Anyways, hope this helps and All the very best!
Hi @edinmom

Thanks so much for your comprehensive response to my post - you've given me so much to think about and consider, really appreciate it. I think your multifaceted approach sounds really appealing and makes total sense. I totally agree that having our children understood and maintaining their authenticity must be at the heart of any intervention aimed to support them progress. I can relate to so much of what you have written and we are at the stage of looking at private OT to offer advice on my DD's sensory issues - I completely agree this is key to any success we may have with any other therapy inc. ABA or SALT - my DD is a sensory seeker and definitely needs these needs met/managed before we can do anything else - we've been doing things like 'heavy work', deep massage, brought her a trampoline and a balance board, we ensure she's outside for 3 hours daily at least - all of these things have helped her with improving sleep and appetite though we do still have difficulties in these areas. Unfortunately we have had very limited input from the NHS OT helpline but from personal research have tried to put some things in place, We've recently had a private SALT who supposedly specialises in ASD assess DD but from watching her assessment it seemed very superficial which again was quite disappointing, little things like not waiting for a bit longer than usual to get a response from DD to a questions which inevitably led to her being underestimated (again!). We know that DD has good receptive skills but struggles with expressive language - she has been using single words mostly in the past 3 months and in the last two weeks has been using a few two word phrases consistently (functional language that is). Seems we may also have to find another SALT who has better understanding of autism. Do you mind if I ask where you son is with functional language now? I always wonder how my daughter's echolalia and scripting will evolve and if the suggestion of it reducing as functional language increase has any truth to it. Does your child attend MS school? We will be applying for schools at the end of this year and truly have no idea where she may fit in as she seems to love her mainstream preschool but we are not sure how well she is understood and truly supported and of course we want her to thrive rather than being left to play with water and sand on her own (has happened in the past!) - due to covid we haven't been allowed in once to see what actually happens during her time there and obviously she isn't able to communicate with us about her experience.

OP posts:
Elif100 · 23/07/2021 22:44

@Rosebud100

We are running a home and now a nursery programme for my 3 year old and seeing good results. We have only recently started the nursery part but it's making such a difference. We are currently applying for an echp and the nursery section makes heartbreaking reading, it sounds like my son plays alone all day and doesn't interact with anyone at all - but at home and with his aba tutors this is not the case, and now he has some support from tutors who know what they are doing he is accessing much more play and group activities when they are there. Our nursery (curiosity approach, all child led) have been very welcoming to us doing aba there. As a sceptic I guess it makes their lives easier too. Would definitely recommend a home and nursery programme as they can address different skills but also generalise home based skills.
Hi @Rosebud100

Oh that sounds so lovely - how amazing to see your child progress and be able to access new activities in nursery. I am so happy to hear that your DS nursery has been so accommodating of letting tutors in, it makes complete sense to me though as its hard to have meaningful conversations about EYFS frameworks, which can be so demoralising to read at times.

Thanks for the recommendation, I believe we will be going down this route for sure, as you say it will give the chance to generalise those newly learned skills in the 'real world'. Thanks again x

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Bigcitylights · 24/07/2021 07:29

No it’s not about grooming them and making them compliant to whatever the adult wishes. This is such a massive misunderstanding and really quite sad and dangerous in that it potentially prevents children from progressing as much as they could.

Good ABA will help ultimately help the child respond to ‘social praise’, so that they want to be told ‘well done’, ‘good job’ etc. by others just as neurotypical children do. Yes ABA uses treats along the way such as a very small edibles - with my son it was time playing with a toy. But this is paired with social praise and then the treat is phased out and the child will respond to social praise - not with total compliance and you wouldn’t want that anyway. But social praise is what a mainstream classroom is run on, and a lot of what parents rely on to raise their children.

Following on from this, humans are extremely conformist - there are expectations about being polite, hygiene etc. If you can’t follow these, life is going to sadly be much tougher. This all starts with wanting social praise and to be part of the group.

Yes SLT is important (and a lot of ABA is speech focused anyway), but ABA does so much more. In so many other countries it is the norm - it’s covered by health insurance in the USA because there is so much evidence showing that it works.

LightTripper · 27/07/2021 10:54

I also have some concerns about ABA and think those are worth listening to. On the other hand, the discussion has become very emotive and polarised which doesn't help anybody. In the end, we all use behaviourism every day (in fact, when I've finished my current task I will treat myself to a coffee) - but in my view it is possible to do damage with ABA if you are not careful. In particular, you have to be careful about anything that might teach your child to ignore their sensory needs (e.g. suppressing stims, or "sitting nicely" - better to try to figure out why they need to stim or fidget and try to find ways they can meet those needs AND learn at the same time), or to ignore their own judgement as they get older (e.g. if the teaching is focused on compliance, they may later instinctively comply with adults who do not have their best interests at heart). Even if you do plan to use ABA, it's worth reading the criticisms as it will give you some useful insights into what to avoid and be careful of. Like any unregulated industry it will attract a lot of cranks and charlatans with little interest in your child's wellbeing, but also some great people who want to help your child so it's worth being careful and being as knowledgeable as possible about the dangers, as with any other time you put your child into the care of strangers.

So, coming back to your question, we did use some distance ABA (i.e. the therapists just spoke to us as parents but did not work with our daughter directly). We did it with a company called Beam, and found them good - so if you want something not too intensive but to give you a guide it may be worth getting in touch. We found it helpful at the time, as we felt completely unsupported from other sources (we were basically just put on a 2 yr wait list for a parenting course, and some limited SLT which didn't get us very far at all). It did give us some good ideas of things we could do to support DD - much of which was not really "ABA", but it was the ABA therapist who taught us those methods (backward chaining, now and next, modelling, feelings diaries, etc.) so I don't regret doing it, despite my misgivings about ABA more generally, particularly given the lack of alternative support.

At the same time, in our case it would have been a mistake to spend hours doing ABA at the expense of time at nursery. I think DD got so much from nursery, and the teachers there were brilliant at engaging her and scaffolding her in starting to learn to interact with the other children. Just sitting with an adult doing repetitive exercises all day could not possibly have done her as much good I don't think.

Some of the best specialist support we got in the end was also found through nursery: they found a really good SLT (much better than the one we saw through the LA) and also got a nanny with special needs experience to come in and help DD play with the other kids at break time or lunchtime once or twice a week in her Reception year (with the nursery TAs playing that role when she was still at nursery). It just helped her make those first steps to interaction, and then from there she could pretty much learn from observing, practicing and just from playing.

As for differences between SALT and ABA, I think it depends entirely on your therapist in each case. Our most "ABA-like" experience was actually not with the ABA therapist but with the LA SALT, who wanted to do constant "sabotage" games (making things impossible to reach or open so DD would be forced to ask for help, and not accepting non-verbal requests as meaningful/acceptable ways to get help, etc. - it was really depressing). By contrast our ABA therapists never suggested anything like that (but on the other hand we were probably already quite clear up front that this kind of intervention was not acceptable to us!)

Rosebud100 · 27/07/2021 11:09

@LightTripper
Thanks for your post, it's really interesting.

On your below comment, our ABA therapists in nursery are doing exactly what you say the nursery teachers did for you - scaffolding and supporting my son to interact with the other children (and adults too) and engage in nursery life. ABA at nursery should never be about 1-2-1 activities away from the group. It sounds like you had a wonderful nursery, I'm concerned mine aren't helping my son like that, and hence he's so different when his tutors are in helping him join in, when otherwise he likes to play on his own all day and not really learn anything during his time there.

At the same time, in our case it would have been a mistake to spend hours doing ABA at the expense of time at nursery. I think DD got so much from nursery, and the teachers there were brilliant at engaging her and scaffolding her in starting to learn to interact with the other children. Just sitting with an adult doing repetitive exercises all day could not possibly have done her as much good I don't think.